My partner is driving me slowly but effectivley insane. I do not know what to do with him. He cant look after himself to the point that if he goes out without me for a night out, guarenteed he will end up in hospital like last week when he got drunk, fell over and smashed his teeth in and got concussion. He asks me questions constantly about my work and if there are any men there I fancy or would consider leaving him for, He is always depressed and using me as a counselling service to work out all of his lifes problems such as appointments, debt and family difficulties so on, I feel like I have a baby to deal with. I have tried telling him, shouting and so on, but he cries. We are both 27 and have no children.
2006-10-30 20:11:10 · 14 answers · asked by Abigail 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Name the game
Tell him what is bugging you and why it is going to sabotage your long term relationship
If he doesn't take steps to shape up, you can ship out! Give him say ... a month to take some steps ... 3 months to show some improvement.
Tell him you think he needs to get a REAL counsellor - go for couples counselling.
Let him make the rules. You love him, but you don't have to put up with his paranoia and neurosis. If he doesn't want to fix it - you don't want him. You want someone better, who will work on stuff with you. He had better show you that he's that sort of guy. If he doesn't well - he's chosen to do what he's chosen to do. You make your choices too.
Oh - don't fall for the "But I need you to support me" - unless you want to be supporting him emotionally (and financially) for the rest of your life.
2006-10-30 20:16:30 · answer #1 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi:
You already have the answer to your question!Leave this relationship before you get a nervous collapse or become very ill!
This man needs help and you are not a doctor or his parents,you should look after a child of your own and now a grown up 27 year old!
Dear,at 27 you should enjoy your life as we are only young once in our lifetime, life is meant to enjoy!
Tell this man you cannot stand it anymore and leave him, he is not a child! he is not your responsiblity!
Be ready to hold the reins of your life in your hands and drive the chariot of your happiness to a safe destination away from him!
Goodluck!
Love SANAM
2006-10-30 20:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are counselors at your church that could help you, or get him to a free clinic doctor. Describe his depression, maybe he can get medical help for this and he would get a grip on his life! This is beyond your ability, as you probably know. Get help for yourself too. There may be a mental issue he cannot deal with by himself. Be sure to not go on like this. Shouting is not helping you. Look past his crying. He has a problem and you cannot fix it by yourself. Thank God you have no children also to deal with.
2006-10-30 20:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by desertflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He need counseling. You should tell him that ya'll can still be friends and nothing else until he gets the help he needs and after getting help you can start all over. That's if you really want to put that much effort into the relationship.
2006-10-30 20:18:18 · answer #4 · answered by jakesbell87 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your self this? Do you relay need this crap you can do better here am sure and your 27 no kids and nothing to lose your other half needs to grow up in life needs to see a doc get some help and you you need to get your self out girl and in joy your self life is to short and it also sounds like he is st oping you from doing what you want.
2006-10-30 20:24:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um... wow. this is very odd. You should tell him that he needs to start taking care of himself, or he is going to drive you insane, i belive that he is asking about your work because he doesnt want to be left. He might have started doing these things to get attention from you and now, its a habit, its a natural thing for him to do. Its not really the nicest thing to do, but if it comes down to it, tell him that if he doesnt get his **** together then your going to have to move on. As for him using you as his personal counseler tell him that he might need to get profesional help. But let him know that you want to be there for him, and that you care for him, but you dont know what to do for him and that he should seek profesonial help.
2006-10-30 20:16:48 · answer #6 · answered by Don A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing. Obviously hes too insecure and he knows that you can do better so he's afraid. You should tell him what hes doing and how its affecting you and affecting him. If he won't change his negative thoughts, then break it off.. He will learn soon that he was wrong and he'll try to make it right again. Thats what i did.. It works. But im not the one with your boyfriend so its up to you to decide. *thats just my advice*
2006-10-30 20:16:49 · answer #7 · answered by eeekkk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you truly love him and don't wanna loose him despite of what he is...then you can take a risk... after all it's you happiness... maybe the best hing to do is to made him feel so special that way he will think that he was wrong doing it...
2006-10-30 20:19:16 · answer #8 · answered by she 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy has issues. Get him a helmet and leave immediately. Good luck.
2006-10-30 20:14:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with this guy? Have a baby if you want one, but stop enabling this loser.
2006-10-30 20:15:56 · answer #10 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋