My mother-in-law got my husband a credit card a couple years ago in her husbands name. Her husband DOES know. Anyway, he used it one time to buy my wedding ring. Because the billing info is in her name, he gives her $50/mo to pay it off. Min. is $20. We should have only $150 to pay off, but she says $350. Told him to cut the card, pay it in full and get his own. He said he is. She is also CONSTANTLY reminding me and my husband that she is always spending hundreds of $$ for b-day and x-mas on him and he can't even acknowlege their b-day's or anniversary, mother's day or father's day. She says it isn't about the money, but it is or she wouldn't mention it every couple weeks (no joke). She said because of his inconsideration, there will be no thanksgiving dinner or x-mas dinner. She is tired of him eating and running (he works nights and she cooks late). Only cards for x-mas, too. Is she being materialistic or am I being critical? I feel like it's a guilt trip. Not working.
2006-10-30 19:20:37 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I want him to go visit his mom, step-dad and grandma more, and call them just to say hey (he NEVER does). But at the same time I need her to back off the money issue. If she is expecting a massive x-mas from us this year, she will keep expecting. We are trying to save up for a new house and I have a child from a previous marriage that will get x-mas first. She only sees $$$ she has spent on him and wants $$$ spent on her. Her and her husband's b-days are 2 days apart in December, and she said she would like to be acknowleged there, too. I only give my own parents cards or gift cards (for dinner out) at most for their b-day. Maybe I am just selfish and venting??
2006-10-30 19:38:54 · update #1
she wants control of her son and when she doesnt get her way with him or he doesnt do as she wants him to do she will be critical and hurtfull in any way she can you two need to stay away from her and get on your two feet without her,
2006-10-30 19:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the mother-in-law should get her own life, and your husband should grow up and pay off her credit card and get one of his own. Having said that, I think the mother-in-law is giving her son gifts and preparing dinner in hopes of receiving a little attention and acknowledgment back from him. But it just sounds like he is only taking... and not giving. That is just plain selfish. And although she may be a little overbearing, all she is asking for is attention. Is it that hard for either one of you to buy her a little something on mothers day or Xmas and give it to her? That is why she keeps mentioning the $$$. Would it kill your husband to buy her presents on special occasions, esepcially since he receives them? So yeah, it is a guilt trip, but is your husband that dense, is he really that selfish??? When someone gives you a gift, have the decency to give one back! What's the matter with the two of you?!?!
2006-10-30 19:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by Das 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that the $350 includes interest. I wouldn't quibble over the cost if I were you - even tho you are saving money. It was nice of her to do that for her son.
I don't think she is being materialistic. It doesn't sound like she expects gifts from you.
Why don't you buy the cards for the special occasions and have your husband sign them? It's way past time for him to show his mother and father some appreciation for all they have done for him in the past. Loving sons do things like that; it's the least he can do.
2006-10-30 19:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by Judith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do DIL's expect their MIL's to be perfect people? They have it out for them without even giving them a chance. I don't understand the cruelty. You cause "crazy trauma" because your MIL asks you to have her son call her and she says "she can never get ahold of you people". You get offended and want to blow up??? Why??? If more DIL's would just would have more of an open heart and make some attempt at forming a relationship with their MIL the world would be a better place. Don't look for trouble where there is none and don't make mountains out of mole hills.
2016-05-22 14:45:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
venting,BUT,two women who want the pole position in your hubby,s life and she wont back down,,,some mothers are just like this and she probably doesn't even see it. it may be best to get her on side even at the detriment of your husband,who,admittedly,could do more with them,call once in a while,,take his mum out and such,,mums want this as you will,,,she may even be lonely,,have you seen pauline fowler recently,,we could all turn into her if left unchecked. try to bring the whole family together,,have dinners,parties where no gifts are exchanged,,no reason,just a party for all.send them cards just for the hell of it so they can see how your love and appreciation shows itself,,what she considers normal may not be your idea but if you can show her how your family,,you,hubby and child,show affection she may see its not about what she doesnt get but what she does.
2006-10-30 22:03:10 · answer #5 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
r u sure she is ur Hubby's real mother???i dont know how can a mother ask money to his son like this???? ask the shop keeper to give another copy of the bil...show it to her...& dont expect anythg from her..u two r there..so enjoy ur life...& dont feel guilty!!
2006-10-30 19:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by shweta - 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cut up all the credit cards
2006-10-30 19:31:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's the begginig luv. mother in laws r lyk that. u gotta be very patient with her . wish u well
2006-10-30 19:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by mommy2be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be patient.everything will come to normal.
2006-10-30 19:26:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋