Sister in law sent an email and said that because she married into a large family (her new hubby has 5 sisters) that they are not going to give presents and instead will be giving ‘picture cards’. This is someone who just had a huge wedding (paid for by m&d) which we had to attend (we live 8 hours apart so there were trips for showers, hotels, rental car, gas, outfits for her required ‘formal’ attire reception & gifts) they travels abroad several times a yr, they do not have kids but plans to and are both well off and established in their careers.
My husband’s Christmas shopping list grew by 12 kids when we got married - it’s just part of joining families.
I guess it bothers me because I wouldn’t care if she just handed over the card at Christmas – it’s not the lack in gift but the fact that she sent this pre Christmas email with her decision and lame a$$ excuse.
Her choice feels like she just can't be bothered. Am I wrong to think she’s just lazy and selfish?
2006-10-30 18:28:34 · 10 answers · asked by PopcornMommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It has never been about the adults. She gave to our kids we gave to her...
We have one child who is 11 and another that is 2 so it's not like she had a huge list to begin with....
2006-10-30 18:39:04 · update #1
It is good that she told you in advance, before you got a gift for her. I think she should have made the effort to buy gifts and become a real part of the family, she seems to be getting off to a bad start and I understand why you feel as you do.
2006-10-30 18:36:25 · answer #1 · answered by RY 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think she does sound a little selfish as well. Her reason is just silly. If she was broke that's one thing but just because she added a few people to the list you can't just stop gifts completely. You did alot for her for this wedding as I'm sure others did as well, it'd be Nice of her to put some effort out and really show she is thankful.
2006-10-30 18:33:43 · answer #2 · answered by SweetHeart 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Then send her a card also for xmas, since they have no kids no problem, i have a huge family on xmas,12 kids and numerous adults, but all we do is send presents to the children and cards to everyone else, yes your sister in law is being selfish and rude prior to holidays, personally i would tell her off
2006-10-30 18:43:16 · answer #3 · answered by paki 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
what you consider a normal amount of present buying,she may consider enormous and may not be used to it,,she may,,with all the money you think she has,,think no gift worth less than,say,50 pound,is worth giving,,times that with the number of people to buy for and the cost could be vast for them,,dont forget,she still has her friends and family to buy for too,,,dont be mad,,you are all family and that means more than any present at the end of the day.given what she is giving you can give cards to him and her too and she wont mind and as long as the kids have something,,,,most people will happily give up their present and let the kids get more,,put that to them,,that they just buy something for the kids and who knows,,next year?
2006-10-30 18:53:00 · answer #4 · answered by lex 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, my sister-in-law is the same way. She gives all other nieces and nephews in our family presents at X-Mas time, but not our family, bc we have 7 children, and she says they can't afford it. Okay...how about a $15 DVD or something they can all enjoy? She just isn't thoughtful enough.
2006-10-30 18:40:50 · answer #5 · answered by all 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
not all families send gifts to all extended family. its normal and i think she let you know ahead of time so you dont buy her a gift and expect something in return. you are an adult and that is pretty selfish thinking that she is cheap just because they arent buying gifts for the whole family. what they do with their money is their choice.
2006-10-30 18:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Christmas shouldn't be about the gift anyways.
2006-10-30 22:25:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.....that sounds like my IN-LAWS !!!!!
Every year(at the beginning of December) they go to their home land to visit relatives and what do we get for x-mas?.....tada!..... souvenirs!
every damn year! So i decided I would buy my side of the family nice presents and give them stupid sh*t like socks or slippers. I believe that since they have the $ to vacate to another country then they could buy decent gifts.
so every year I don't expect much from them.
2006-10-30 18:30:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
All relationship depends on give and take. If she is so cheap, pay her in her own coins.
2006-10-30 18:31:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is lazy and selfish. she's probably from wisconson too
2006-10-30 18:36:07 · answer #10 · answered by outbaksean 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋