should i feel guilty?, should i tell her?

Question

after me and my girlfriend broke up, a month later i had a one night stand with another girl like an idiot, and its something i never thought i would of done and i hate the fact i did it. about 2 months later me and my ex girlfriend got back together. and have been together for awhile now. i feel really guilty like i did somthing wrong, i want to tell her but feel like she would break up with me, and i really really care about her. should she get mad at me for having sex with another girl when we were not together?, is it normal to feel this guilty?

Answer 1

Chalk it up to experience. You were hurt, you did something you regret, it's over. Unless you have some STD or a baby on the way from your one-nighter, I would not say anything. You had broken up and were under no obligation to check in with her or consider her at that time. Also, you don't know what she may have been doing during your time apart.

While telling her will make YOU feel better, I won't do anything for her but drive her nuts. Even though you weren't obligated to her at that time, her imagination will run wild and she will never be satisfied until she has ALL the gory details.

You feel guilty because you're back together. Get a hold of yourself and make the best possible go of your second chance with her.

Answer 2

well you guys were broken up in the first place. second, tell her! honesty is the best policy no matter how much it might hurt her! if she loves you the way you say she does she will understand, act mature and move on. while broken up multiple things can happen and you sometimes should expect the best and sometimes the worst! tell her how you honestly feel and maybe why you had that one night stand to help her understand the whole situation. as for her getting mad at you for sleeping with someone else while broken up the chances are a big "yes" since neither of you were over the other person and you still cared about the other person. i think that it will hurt her to hear that but at least you spoke the truth vs. hiding a skeleton in your closet. as for feeling guilty yes it is normal, since you two were broken up and the whole thing happened and now that you are back together with your gf you feel as though you betrayed her since you were not over her in the first place when you had that one night stand with another girl. what makes it harder on you is that right now you have a relationship back with your gf and are afraid that if you tell her something bad will happen or that maybe you guys will call in for a "break" or whatever is going thru your mind. my best bet is to tell her and make her understand what happend and why and put that behind you and move on!

Answer 3

ok yes, she will get mad, in fact she will be pissed. you f*cked up if you want to have a lsting relationship with her. ok i know thats not what you want to hear but its the truth and thats what you are gonna hear, YOU ****** UP!!!!!!!!!!!! ok now for the helpful part. ok well you should tell her and let her know that you had no intentions of doing that and tell her you know you really ****** up even though you 2 weren't together. you have to really hope she wont break up with you. keep in mind that you dont want to mention it so much because you dont want her to keep it in her mind because then she wont be able to stand being with you because the image of u and the other chick will stay with her, just mention everything (the complete truth) and try to not repeat yourself so that it doesn't stick in her memory. yes its normal to feel guilty since you feel like you betrayed your GF, just let her know how you feel about her and that it was a stupid mistake. ok, now this is where she will make a decisions whether she will stay with you or not, if she doesn't then you have to move on no matter how much you care about her. if she does take you back, the you have a whole lot of *** kissing to do so u can get her trust back even if you didn't break her trust in the first place and you 2 were broken up, you need to get her trust back because thats the way most women are. well good luck.

or you can do what La Chacha said, and not mention it and just vow to never do it again

Answer 4

Let me tell you from a girl's perspective:

Forget about it.

It's a not an issue. It's not because you guys weren't together. You feel guilty because this girl meant NOTHING to you and you were able to do such a dirty thing, having meaningless sex with a girl after you've done it with meaning with another.

You only betrayed yourself and you feel awful because you went against your own moral code.

Why do you want to sabotage your relationship when this happened during a time that you guys weren't together? What purpose would it serve you or her? Do you need to tell somebody that you behaved like a dick and took advantage of a girl?

Thanks for letting us now, you're a jerk...now move on and be a man who cares about his girlfriend and take care of her and vow to never do such a stupid thing like that ever again.

Answer 5

Actually, you didn't do anything wrong because you guys were broken up. It sounds more like you might feel guilty because you've never had a one night stand before. I wouldn't tell her because you weren't with her at the time it happened. Maybe she hooked up with someone too and I'm pretty sure she would never tell you. I don't mean to sound harsh. If you do tell her and if she doesn't stay with you, then it's her loss because at least you were honest. Good luck.

Answer 6

She will be upset with you if you tell her, just because women feel emotions almost in a violent way because we get jealous naturally. Technically, you would not be lying to her by not telling with her because you were not together, so what happened shouldn't be any of her business. Do yourself a favor and don't cause an argument to happen that you were perfectly in the right for doing in the first place. Good luck with it all. If you need to confess, talk to a dog or cat, because they will love you regardless of what you tell them, and they can keep a secret!!!

Answer 7

should you feel guilty? NO. you are out of the relationship when you did that so i guess there nothing wrong with that.

should you tell her? yes... but you must explain it very well to her. imagine if you kept it a secret and then someone told your girl about it. what do you think will happen?

Answer 8

You were broken up. You weren't "cheating" on her. I assume since you're back with her and that you haven't picked up an STD from your one-night stand. I think you need to be sure that you're healthy by having a physical exam, especially if you had UNPROTECTED sex. There's no good to be had from shifting your guilt onto your girlfriend. You should just keep it to yourself and deal with it.

Answer 9

its not that you had sex with another girl when you were with your gf.you had it after you broke up-and it was an accident- wasn't it? now that you are with her-you should let her know as she it would really upset her if she gets to know it from someone else. so let her know.but i dont think she has rights to be mad as she was not in a relationship with you when you had the one night stand.but i cant be sure on how would she really react. be man and let her know.she has to appreciate your honesty and confrontation-but i don't know where would it lead too. i can see that you really care about her and there love is strong.its up to her now.

Answer 10

Ya she'll probably be pissed. Women dwell on things for a real long time( like a breakup) and she will probably be mad and not understand how you can go and sleep with another after a short time after you broke up...
But really she has no right to be mad