I met a very nice man via internet. When I met him in person, he was super nice, but not that cute. I decided to stick it out to see if any type of physical attraction whould develope and it hasn't . While getting to know him, I find out that he has superlow self esteem and is depressed. If I let him go I might make him sadder and he might hit rock bottom. I don't want to have that guilt on my shoulders, but I cant pretend. Any ideas on how to deal with this one?
2006-10-30 18:05:16 · 18 answers · asked by 2cute 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
tell him you are shallow
2006-10-30 18:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this is what can happen with internet hookups. You don't know what you are getting. You don't want anything to do with him as in a relationship because of his looks. Whereas you don't have to be with anyone that you don't want to be with and it'd be best just to let him know and not drag him along and cause him more hurt later on, you should know that decent, nice, thoughtful, faithful, loving, attentive men, are hard to find. You are not responsible for his self esteem problems and it's also dangerous to meet someone like that because he could be a stalker or have some other problem. Wish him well and send him on his way.
2006-10-30 18:13:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day you have to look after yourself, and if it's not there it's not there. Ignore those who tell you you are shallow for looking for physical attraction, as far as I'm concerned it is a vital part of a relationship. That said, it is not the be-all and end-all.
If he's a nice guy maybe it's better to be just friends? Make it clear that you're there for him, but not romantically. Don't leave him hanging with "maybe someday i can care for you..." be clear that you're only interested in friendship. Be honest. If he reacts badly then you just have to let him deal with it.
It's a really awkward situation hun, good luck!
2006-10-30 18:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by winsa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness! I have been going through the same thing. It all started by me just wanting to be this girl's friend, because she didn't have anyway friends and I felt sorry for her. She kinda took it the wrong way and was calling me a least 3 times a day, and be wanting to talk like hours a day,then she started telling everybody that we were going out and stuff. . I didn't want to make her cry. I been putting up with this for a year I MADE A MISTAKE BY TRYING TO BE HER FRIEND. I am now just ending it. When she started talking to this dude, I made an escape route. I told her I didn't want to get between her and her male friend. I don't call her anymore, and have move. I REALLY REGRET TRYING TO BE HER FRIEND.
2006-10-30 18:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not worrying about his looks and look for good things about him then pawn him off on someone else. Firstly, he will get that you don't want him and you are just friends, which if he has low self esteem he will need anyway. And secondly he might actually get a new GF and stop focussing on you. If you believe in him getting together with "someone" he may believe it too and thanks to you he'll be happy nice and with someone else. Remember there's someone for everyone. Find someone who is cool somewhat attractive and in his leauge, not to mention desprit won't hurt either, to pawn him off on. Just remeber Don't "dump him" has a friend/ person, It doesn't sound like he can take complete rejection.
2006-10-30 18:12:42 · answer #5 · answered by evilive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a person who suffered depression and had an internet girlfriend she actually made it worse by pretending to love me .So just tell the truth you dont like him ,it is not your fault he has depression and within a few days he will forget all about you tust me .After telling him change ID's PASSWORDS phone numbers and dont contact him again it is for the best !!!
2006-10-30 18:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by john h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy. In a way, you feel bad for the guy and don't want his self esteem to get worse or him to get even more depressed.
But then again, you are not responsible for his life.
It is always better to be honest, but not brutal.
Tell him that he is very nice but he is just not the person you are looking for .
2006-10-30 18:14:34 · answer #7 · answered by Marti M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move on...your not attracted to him, that is just the way it goes..nothing wrong with that..you gave it a chance, but you can't be with a guy that has low-self esteem and depressed even if he was handsome...move on
2006-10-30 18:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what most guys do and just disappear. stop returning calls and emails. when he does catch you always talk about how busy you are and don;t have time to talk. he'll get the hint. and if he doesn't get the hint, he'll at least be annoyed and want to find someone else who has more time for him.
2006-10-30 18:09:25 · answer #9 · answered by ca belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him choose what he want and than leave him
if you consider a partner whio atractive look but his going fool in your future took long relationship with him so my advice is guys who love rreally from their heart and consider as the whole partner but dont hyave good look he will make you happy in yoyur future
2006-10-30 18:20:33 · answer #10 · answered by fros 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you should be fair everybody deserves to be treated nicely. He needed you and maybe you could help him correct his behavior, in other means he is harmless because as what you had said he is nice.. Be Kind!... Ok.?
2006-10-30 18:14:31 · answer #11 · answered by nyt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋