people say im abusive but im just disciplining heres the case my 3 yr old girl doesnt want to go to my wife her mother i dont know why .That little girl is my 4th out of five kids im the disciplinarian my wife's the shoulder to cry on im more like the shoulder to depend on anyways my daughter is wringing to me i tried putting her down spanking her hand and all that holliballoo on trying to get the kid down she is now wringing to me and crying and i know for sure my wife didnt hurt her we have security cameras and saw nothing unusual just my wife rocking our daughter to sleep what should i do?
2006-10-30 17:22:25 · 9 answers · asked by 5kidsdad 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
she is still hugging me while in fact my wife does everything for our kids
2006-10-30 17:23:09 · update #1
i understand this but my wife never disciplines...she nevr yells ...if there is a spit-up she wipes it and comforts the baby while me i dont yell but i firmly tell my newborn to stop and disciplining thats my best aspect i spank when there is something wrong love my kids but not as much as my wife she is the rope that pulls us together im like the glue that strenghtens my kids anyways i have AA meetings and i dont like getting hugged but i appreciate you telling me that she needs help and support
2006-10-30 17:49:13 · update #2
A lot of times the kids love the disciplinarian the most. They love us for taking care of them. You set boundaries for them and they feel more secure because of that.
Good job daddy!
P.S. Give your wife a break. I'm sure she's not hurting the kids - your daughter is probably just having a daddy moment.
2006-10-30 17:32:52 · answer #1 · answered by Lesley C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your opening statement concerns me. Why do other people say you're abusive? Do you hit your daughter? It sounds like you may be rationalizing your behavior as "discipline," but hitting is not an especially effective form of discipline. Time outs, or getting down to her face level and talking to her firmly (but not yelling) as you explain what it is you want from her, work much better. Kids, even three-year-olds, need to understand WHY you want them to change their behavior. Hitting just scares them and ultimately drives them away from you.
That said, it sounds like she's desperate for attention from you. If you're typically the disciplinarian and your wife is the comforter, maybe what your daughter needs is some comforting from you. And some discipline from your wife. So rather than slapping your daughter away from you, embrace her. It may be less that's she's running away from her mother than that she's running to you.
2006-10-30 17:36:19 · answer #2 · answered by fyrfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your sweet little girl just wants some time with daddy. Please don't be so hard on her- she's just a little girl. I'm sure your wife has done nothing wrong- kids go through strange phases. By the way, if other people think your behavior is abusive and have had the guts to tell you so, you should tkae it pretty seriously. Tone down the "discipling" a bit. Time outs are way more effective than swats.
2006-10-30 17:30:17 · answer #3 · answered by Elaine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And exactly WHAT is the problem? Your daughter obviously has a deep love and affection for you and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Some children choose a favorite parent, but it certainly doesn't mean they love one more than the other. For example, my son much prefers my husband over me and my daughter prefers me over my husband. It can be annoying at times, but in the same breath, they are only little once! Be thankful she is clingy now, cause when she is 13, she'll think she hates your guts!
2006-10-30 17:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by Christy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is like that to my husband he is the one who spanks her and gets on her while i am too the soft one, and she also runs to daddy when she gets hurt or upset i dont think its nothing to worry about have you asked your wife if something happened? Maybe she disaplinced her and your daughter was just in shock and now is mad at mommy how long hasit been going on?see if you go to your wife ask you daughter to come with you while yall all sit together and talk maybe she will just get over it over time if not, maybe have your daughter talk to someone
hope it all works out
2006-10-30 17:31:18 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it may be that she wants comfort from you because you smacked her ,kids like a hug from the one who smacked ,I don't like the idea of only one parent playing the disciplinarian role ,i personal think it should be shared but that's just me.give her a hug and be nice
2006-10-30 17:30:08 · answer #6 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you daughter misses you when you are away and she thinks you may go away and not come back!! Especially if your wife is with her most of the time
2006-10-30 17:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by jark79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a daddy's girl to me!
2006-10-31 16:29:26 · answer #8 · answered by Larissa D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please learn to use punctuation. Ask your wife.
2006-10-30 17:25:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋