I'm dating a Guy who I have had a 5 yr, Ironically we're 5 yrs apart(21 & 26)relationship with. we have fell in and out of love repeatedly over the years and still can't seem to leave each other alone. about 2 yrs ago he told me about a child he didn't know he had, and that the child's mother had just informed him. He constantly Badgers me with "My Baby Mama" this and "My Baby Mama" that. whom which i have never met. and that he and his child's mother are still good friends and he loves her, then turns around and say he wanted me to have his child also. and he told me this baby's name was one name, then 2 yrs later told me something different?? he use to tell me how badly he wanted a child and then out of nowhere she appeared, I just want advice on whether or not I should stay in this relationship, seriously I'm considering letting it go, I Love Him and he Loves me very Much but it's like he uses his child and previous girlfriend to keep me in line and make me sad...What should I do?
2006-10-30 16:47:17 · 23 answers · asked by quiet_diamond27 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Personally I would get rid of him. Tell him to deal with his own "baby mama drama". You don't need to be involved with that. I'm not saying guys with kids don't deserve to date and find happiness but there is always going to be those other two people in your relationship. If he was mature then he would handle his business like a man and tell his ex where he stands with you. Sounds like he has more issues with kid's mother that with the kid. Tell him to take a paternity test considering she came out of the blue with this. On and off for 5 years?............that's 5 years of your life wasted. He hasn't decided on what the hell he's wanted in 5 years but he did find the time to get some chick knocked up. Move on girl and find a man who deserves you. Oh, and you getting pregnant would be a big mistake. If he's like this with her, then you know what to expect........drama. Good luck!!!
2006-10-30 17:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by Italionaire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you look so beautiful and you are very young. Why do you want to waste your life on someone who does not know what he wants, even though he is 26, I think you sound more mature than him.
What I think - you should leave him as it looks like he does not know what he wants. Leave him to find out what he wants - what he really wants - without any interruption from you. He cannot have his cake and eat it too. He has to make up his mind, what he actually wants, you or the other person. He cannot have the best of both worlds - that only means that he is selfish and self centred, looking after his own interest and that is not being fair to you or the other person.
Tell him to grow up and to make a decision - either you or the other person, he cannot be skipping between the two of you. He has to love one of you more, he definitely cannot love both of the you the same way.
You had better know what you want from this relationship and than see if he can provide it.
Just do not waste your life on someone who does not deserve you.
Good luck and all the best.
2006-10-30 16:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by aew2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is as simple as this, if you aren't happy get out. In this situtation, I would have packed my bags as soon as I found out about the baby. It shows you that he is a jerk, not to have even known that he got another girl pregnant. I myself don't want an already made family especially when I feel like someone else is playing the role of mother and girlfriend. This is a crappy situation, and he doesn't seem to be commited to you as much as you are to him. Leave. I don't sense any deep love on his part, and there are too many other fish in the sea. Move on to a guy you can start a family with a new. He wants you to have his baby?? He is a sperm spreading jerk. Move on.
2006-10-30 16:52:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DONT let him bring you down! Tell him EXACTLY how you feel and what the consequences will be for him if he doesn't start acting and treating you better. You may not want to give up if you've been together 5 years IF he can change than it could be worth it. BUT if he CANT change and you don't see any changes in the amount of time that you will give him then tell him that it's over. But you can't say it and not mean it so tell him, give him time to think it over and realize what he's doing, give him a certain amount of time to change, and then decide further based on that what you feel you should do.
2006-10-30 16:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by curiousone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From heart to Heart and Women to Women I think you should use everything in you to let him go. Yes is will be extremely hard, but thats something you have to do. You say he uses things to make you sad well open your eyes girl a real man wont make you said he would never want to see you sad. And do evrything in his power to be the man you really need.Even though he might be telling you if you leave you dont love him, but just because your being stronger enought to leave does not mean you dont love him. Just let him know that you love him way to much to be with him because it hurts you to be with him. And somewhere down the line youll meet your king but thats not him. So be strong and leave him in the past and let go because God will send you the right person at the right time. Just put your faith in him.
Wish u the best
2006-10-30 17:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by .... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at the age of 21 you really don't have to put up with any of that bull !!! leave him and the baby Mama junk also. first of all you should know who this person is, trust me he will always go around her to hit it when ever he feels like it. cause he can always say i had to go see my baby! a man will use you if you let him. you are to D@M Pretty to take that, as I'm sure there are Lot's of guys would love to have you as his girl!!! so move on don't stick around until you get old are fat to do this.
2006-10-30 17:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kas-O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave his sorry butt, read your last sentence. "he uses his child and previous girlfriend to keep me in line and make me sad" that is what you said. I mean what kind of person does that? If he loved you he would not do that also you said that he said he loved her, but he loves you, how does that work? What If he is cheating on you with her? That would be bad, especilly for his baby (chid) I honstly think it is weird how he was all "I want a kid" and then a kid shows up.
Well best of luck hope everything turns
out your way!
~Lauren
2006-10-30 16:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by Lauren ♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This person is terribly insecure and you shouldn't stay in this relationship, its not healthy. And he doesnt' really love you because if he did, he would not use such emotional blackmail. Tell him that you don't want to between him and his 'baby's mama', wish him a good future and just leave.
2006-10-30 16:49:33 · answer #8 · answered by DrSH 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are old enough to know that he is not the right one for you any more all these excuses gots to go you ares till young and still can find some one better and with out no kids. So go ahead leave him and go make children of your own... GOOD LUCK! and go head DUMP HIM!!!!!
2006-10-30 16:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by lildominicanbabyg03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend sounds like he sounds lilke he plays games, but you best not have any babies with someone without being married, and why would he keep you in line, and make you sad, you are not a child..your grown...let him go...
2006-10-30 16:53:38 · answer #10 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋