K. It's going to be my 19th birthday next week. And my dad, sister and my boyfriend are going to Disneyland and we are also going to stay the night at the beach. The only problem is that my mom is not going. The reason why cause my parent's are getting a diforse after 20 years. My dad and my sister and my boyfriend are trying to do something to cheer me up. But I feel , to unhappy to go.Should I go and how can I cheer up and get through this? Please dongt be rude. Need advice . Thank you.I just wont feel the same with out my mom. Should I try to cheer up?Thank you so much for your help.
2006-10-30 16:19:09 · 20 answers · asked by kitty 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sweetie-
You had nothing to do with your parents splitting. They chose this pathway for their family. Now you have to cheer up and go enjoy yourself. One wise thing my grandfather says to me and my mom( his daughter), is that "You cannot live your life in other people's eyes."
Now, no one will ever know the causes leading up to this effect but maybe your parents couldn't keep living life in other people's eyes. They probably couldn't keep pretending they were happy together, any longer....so let it go and let God. God will take care of you and your parents. He knows what you need before you even ask. And you have to trust that all your needs will be met. And take it from me, you should be thanking your lucky stars this Thanksgiving that you still have them both. I lost my dad this year, and many others online have as well. ok?
You always wake in the morning thanking the Lord for what you do have. And even a divorced set of parents is alot.Got to Disneyland and enjoy. Sugar, your boyfriend will be there. You work on that relationship and just work on getting to know your parents individually. This may be a great experience. Who knows? You and your boyfriend can take some time to get to know each other and bond with the family...and you can talk about your future together. Start to talk about marriage and what you both want in the long run. You know you don't want a divorce so that is a starting point. Live and love life.
2006-10-30 16:34:48 · answer #1 · answered by Daddy's girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is just go. Let go of the problems you have at home and concentrate on having fun. When you get home, then you can deal with the feelings. Trust me it will do you some good to enjoy the time you will have with you dad and sis and bf. My parents got divorced when I was 16 and it was hard to deal with but I was old enough to understand that sometimes things just dont work out. Yo only turn 19 once and should not let this get you down. I know it seems really like a sad thing right now, but it will all smooth out in time. cheer up Hun. i am sorry.
2006-10-31 00:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by misfit1985 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok
I am a divorced mother of 3, and they were alot younger than you are (8,10,12) when their father and I got divorced.
It is ok to be sad, but your family is really trying to make your birthday a special day so try to forget about the divorce and try to have a good time. And while it will not be the same without your mom, maybe you and your mom can go do something fun the next day.
What my daughters and I try to do since the divorce is make everyday special and special days extra special, we have started new traditions and even if we can't be together on their birthdays we try to do something special the next day possible!! We believe it is not the day you celbrate the holiday but that you know what you are celebrating and why.
You also have to realize that the divorce is not because you did anything wrong and there is nothing you can do to fix it, that is up to your parents. and while it will hurt for awhile try to do the best you can and try not to let it overwhelm you with sadness...........and if you do feel overwhelmed with sadness talk to someone a friend a doctor or maybe a counsler
good luck
2006-10-31 00:27:46 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be happy and you ahve a right to feel the weight your family is going through they concern you and I understand.
I would suggest that you do what is best for you at this time, you do ahve to come up witha a decision yourself, if you fel that even going it will not take your saddness away, then you may be better of just siting with your dad at home.
I respect you for your sincerity and love for you parents. However, remember that you can only do so much...for now take your time slow the activities down until you feel that you are ready to move on. These are matters of your life girl!
2006-10-31 00:24:44 · answer #4 · answered by Trinity 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its tough when your parents get divorced no matter what age you are.
i think you should go i know it wont be the same without your mum but it will help cheer you up and may take your mind off it for a while.
you could always do something special with your mum when you get back just the two of you.
im sure your mum would want you to go as she wouldn't want you to feel so unhappy especially not on your birthday.
2006-10-31 05:13:25 · answer #5 · answered by rosierotweiller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go, you may be surprised by how much better you feel.It will take your mind off the whole situation.Divorce is hard dude, but seeing your parents fight and be unhappy is harder.Sometimes marriages dont work out.Its nobodys fault it just happens.Dont be depressed...do you think this could be why your mom doesnt want to go? Maybe she doesnt want to ruin your birthday.Dont be mad at her, shes going through alot right now.She may not know how to be there for you when shes going through it too.Give her a chance...and some time.She loves you.Kudos for your sister,dad and bf.What a nice surprise!
2006-10-31 00:25:56 · answer #6 · answered by TJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents do love u, im sure your mom wants you to have a great birthday. I say go because regardless u will be sad either b/c your mom wont go or you didnt go. Trust me I have had horrible birthdays, go it might cheer you up even if just for a couple hours.
2006-10-31 00:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Caramel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know saying Cheer-up just won't cut it.
Parents getting a divorce is always a very hard thing to deal with.
I'd say go to Disney with your Dad,Sis and your BF and enjoy your time together with them.
No matter what you do, your not going to be able to stop your parents from getting a divorce, they are adults and have made their decisions.
Be supportive of your Mom...she's gonna need it. and just because your Dad is a man don't mean he won't need your love and support too.
A family getting torn apart isn't easy for either parent to deal with.
Spend time with each parent when you can.
It's gonna take time for everyone to get adjusted to this new situation.
2006-10-31 00:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by iwish40 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go on the trip. Don't put on an act. Don't say anything at all when you are sad. Let your boyfriend make you laugh if he's genuinely funny.
Don't set up a lot of expectations for this trip one way or the other. Your dad and sister want you there with them.
2006-10-31 00:37:19 · answer #9 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't feel crappy I'd be surprised.
It's OK to feel the way you do and it's OK for your parents to realize that their chioce effects others
In a way its like morning a death
You will have good days and bad days.
In time if you are able to accect things as they are there may be peace gained.
Find your true friends who can truely listen
find a pastor to talk to .They are often trained to listen and it's free
Disneyland is your call. Diversion is good for short periods when things are tough.
I'll be praying for you.
Your not alone in this.
Blessings
2006-10-31 00:52:38 · answer #10 · answered by godchick 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋