I've just posted a question before this http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsjAg2104HckuL.Vcz4FbpPsy6IX?qid=20061030203210AA5Saci
Anyway, do you think I should go ahead and have sex with this new guy behind my BF's back to get it over with. Our physical attraction is very strong and I kinda feel that this little excitement I have been having towards this guy is purely based on what I've mentioned. Though I know I will feel guilty if I ever do so, and this is the only reason I have been trying to hold myself together and not doing so.
My boyfriend doesn't know nothing about us..just yet and I'd rather keep it this way. The new guy and I work in a bar, so our hours are pretty much at night and the temptation is extremely high right now. Like I've said in the prior post, I don't look for something permanent with this new guy at all...at least not right now. We have been flirting way too much right now and it starts to annoy me. Should I just go ahead and do it?
2006-10-30 16:16:59 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have no idea what I have been doing and thinking right now. I am a total ****-up girl at the moment. I may sound like a whore to most of you guys, but to tell you the truth, this is the first time in my life this kinda crap comes to my mind. That's why I've been asking a lot. It gets to the point where I start hating myself for being such an unfaithful person, but hey...I seriously can't control how I feel and want. My BF is the best and I can't complain. BUT the new guy brings the whole new perspective about excitement in life. That's all.
2006-10-30 16:35:28 · update #1
do it if it makes you happy, lucky guy
2006-10-30 16:19:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Do you think nothing of having random s*x with guys you don't love? It sounds like you have your mind made up and regardless of what people post you are going to do it anyway.
It would serve you right if your bf cheated on you since you seem to think it's perfectly fine to do it to him. Your bf needs a different girlfriend...one that isn't a cheater.
If you are so physically attracted to the guy in the bar, why don't you at least show a little respect for your bf and break up with him? Then you can have at it with the new guy with a clear conscience.
It's obvious you are willing to have sex with someone that you don't love, or are committed to. And maybe you don't have a conscience. But I'll bet you would be livid if your bf did the same thing to you. You'd whine and cry...wondering how he could be so terrible to you and tell all your friends what a cheater he is.
Anyway, it's pretty pathetic of you to have to ask strangers for permission to be promiscuous.
2006-10-30 16:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by gailfrances 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal...if you know you'll feel guilty after, why bother? Inviting pain is really self abuse-you deserve to treat yourself better. Not only that, but you gotta know you are just stirring the drama pot and hurting someone (your B/F). Point is, what is it you are looking for that your b/f isn't providing? What is it you really want, and need? Is this a way for you to end the current relationship? Kinda chickens**t to do it this way, but it takes courage and honesty to tell current b/f what you want/need in a relationship, and this is sort of an easy way to break up and still feel wanted by someone else. IF the new guy knows you got a b/f now, and he still wants to shag ya, thats not the kind of guy you want anyway, is it?
2006-10-30 16:28:45 · answer #3 · answered by grtfldave 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure why not. You don't want to be true to your boyfriend any way.
I'm sure that you wouldn't care if you boyfriend saw some one either. For that matter it don't matter if your work mate sleeps around either, does it?
After all whats really important here? Trust? I think not You want to go off & get it on with some one else. You can't be trusted.
Love? No its just physical attraction that you seek. But don't tell boyfriend, you want to string him along for the time being just in case this physical thing don't work out.
What you want is to do what ever you want when you want to.
Grow up. If you ever want to have more than or be more than just physical attraction you have to be true & faithful to some one some time.
2006-10-30 16:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by Floyd B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would not, then once it is over, you'll probably be craving more. And also that regret will be with you for the rest of your life. Also, I'll feel terrible for your boyfriend, especially if he has been really sweet, nice, and respectful to you. I'm sure if he has been a totally great guy and sweet guy, you don't deserve his love. This sucks, if I found out you cheated, I would totally dump you even if it has been four years. It is a commitment you made towards him, you should honor it, just like he honors you.
2006-10-30 16:23:48 · answer #5 · answered by Pool Player 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh my god i read this and i got a de'ja vu! you know i was married and i fell inlove (its started out like you though just flirting because i liked him and he liked me and there was so much sexual tension even when nothing had happened yet) with this guy i worked with, and what a coincidence, we worked at a bar too! I was having the same problem as you. He knew i was married and he respected that, but he did let me know how much he liked me so in other words the ball was in my side of the court. I actually broke up with my man because I felt that if I was feeling so much for someone else that maybe the man i had at home wasnt the one for me. I did mess around with him just a little before breaking up with my husband (we were having other problems though, it wasnt just because I wanted to be with someone else) and after i did then i actually did have sex with him. I didnt see him as anything long term either. but being with him was so thrilling the sex was awsome! i can honestly say that i dont regret it at all. I still loved my husband when i left him but i felt like he wasnt the one for me like i once thought he was. If i was always thinking about someone else then I felt it wasnt fair for me to be wasting my time or his either. This happened four years ago. Im still very involved with the guy that i thought was going to be just a fling. I still dont regret it. Every time im with him, i feel like its still new. hes the only one who has made me feel this way after being with him so long. i just think life is short and you should do what you want to do, you know things are wrong or right obviously but you cant help what you feel. you know you are going to keep thinking of this new guy more and more. but you should keep in mind the feelings of your current boyfriend. Im bad influence so im going to tell you go for it, but its at your own risk.
PS Not to mention how much fun you can have at the bar after closing time . . . ;)
oh yeah and make sure you DO wear protection if you do, even if its a curable STD, you dont want it! Remember this is a NEW guy
2006-10-30 16:33:09 · answer #6 · answered by Esme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The coldest thing a person can do to another is to cheat on them...it would make your bf feel worthless, bitter, and angry. You can't have your cake and eat it too when you're in a relationship - if you're going to sleep with someone else, end the relationship you're in now, otherwise, there is nothing that can justify what you're thinking. Nothing.
2006-10-30 16:41:50 · answer #7 · answered by Ben R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answers you received weren't enough...?
It's selfish to want to have both.
I think you're confused because if you really believe he was "The One".. you wouldn't even considering doing something like that to him. My thoughts on this is if you're starting to feel physically or emotionally attracted to another person.. then end the relationship you're in. Instead of putting your boyfriend through your crap should he suspect/find out later. Your poor boyfriend doesn't need any STDs you might catch anyway.
2006-10-30 16:25:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your going to cheat why are you in a relationship? You said you don't see this new guy as long term but just physical attraction.What happens to the long term relationship while your cheating?
2006-10-30 16:29:51 · answer #9 · answered by kira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know if that new guy have a disease , stick to your man what does this new guy got that your man don't have?Stay with your man,and anyway if you do have sex with that new guy what if you get pregnant THEN WHAT HAPPEN?How would you feel if your boyfriend seen a gorgeous women and he wanted to have sex with her, but you wouldn't know. that's not right. females like you fck up a good relationship which u have in front of you.stay with your man.
2006-10-30 16:27:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Break up with your now boyfriend before you do...Your being unfair by keeping him and doing another...Let the fantasy live in your head, don't act on it while your with another person...
2006-10-30 16:29:43 · answer #11 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋