Bob was driving home after spending a great day on the lake fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home, so he was speeding just a little bit.
As he was crossing a bridge, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, and motioned Bob to the side of the bridge.
Bob pulled over like a good citizen.
The cop walked up to Bob's car and said "You know how fast you were goin', boy?"
Bob thought for a second and said "Uh, 60?"
"67 MPH, BOY!! 67 MPH in a 55 zone!!!" said the cop.
"If you already knew, why'd you ask me?", Bob snarled back.
Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, "That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!" The cop took a good close look at Bob in his stained fishing attire, and said, "You don't even look like you have a job!! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"
Bob answered, "Hey, I've got a job . . . a good job!"
The cop leaned in the window, sniffing the foul air, and said, "What kind of a job would a smelly bum like you have?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher!" Bob replied.
"What the hell does a rectum stretcher do, Boy?" asked the cop.
Bob explained, "When someone needs to be stretched, I'm the one who does it. I start with a couple fingers, then a couple more, and then one hand, then both hands. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until the rectum is a full six feet across."
The cop, absorbed with this bizarre image, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot **********?"
Bob replied, "I guess you give it a radar gun and stick it on the end of a bridge!"
2006-10-30 16:04:32 · 10 answers · asked by Woody 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
havent answered any of yours in awhile but this one is great love the use of my name in lmao woody =)
2006-10-31 13:28:30 · answer #1 · answered by burnt bob 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wonder about the mind that thought this joke up, originally. Bizarre is not the image I get! LOL.
2006-10-31 10:17:50 · answer #2 · answered by jfmm 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
rolmao how funny is that guy what a smarty I wander what the cop thought of that lol
2006-10-30 16:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by cowboys4lee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha I guess that was worth the double fine he probably got after that....
2006-10-30 16:08:08 · answer #4 · answered by rimples25 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he got a radar gun, they didn't give me one
2006-10-30 16:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by chris r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gotta remember that one.
2006-10-30 16:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a great twist. I loved it. Thanks again for a really good joke.
2006-11-01 00:28:33 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
haha
2006-10-30 16:14:01 · answer #8 · answered by cnkbrum 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Good one....
2006-10-30 16:34:44 · answer #9 · answered by tbear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heard it before, but it's still funny. Thanks
2006-10-30 16:08:28 · answer #10 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋