My birthday was a couple days ago and I really thought he'd propose that day. I had told him that by my 31st bday (the other day), that he needs to have decided (and proposed) if he wants me. He didnt' propose and in fact fell asleep at 9pm on my birthday :( Besides being sad that I was alone on my birthday, I also am still not engaged. I'm 31 he's 28. He's cheated on me before (4 yrs ago). With that info, should I walk?
2006-10-30 16:03:06 · 9 answers · asked by miss_princess_goddess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
*Yes kick that little weasle to the curb. It sounds like he is just biding his time with you and waiting for someone else to come along. Once a cheater-always a cheater. If you're actually asking this question then you obviously know somethings quite wrong with this picture. This may very well be the turning point in your life...Don't let this opportunity slip away. We only have one life to live-Make the best of it while you can...I truly wish you all the best of luck...Take care and "You go girl".*
2006-10-30 16:14:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about what he did in the past because obviously it is not an issue if you chose to stay with him ever since that incident 4 yrs ago. What you need to do is ask yourself why do you want to marry him and can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him. If the answer is yes, then stay. Secondly, men do not like ultimatums so giving him a deadline is not going to make him budge. However, you can have a mental date (don't tell him what date he needs to propose by) and decide for yourself whether or not to leave. If you decide to leave tell him why you are leaving, I have been with you for so long and I have yet to see you propose and we live together.
Honestly, its hard for a man to actually propose if after dating for awhile you are now shacked up for a while after that. Some men feel what's the point. They get comfortable. So therefore you, deciding to walk after a certain point kinda kicks things in gear.
The fact that he fell asleep on your birthday is inconsiderate. Did he get you flowers, make a card, say happy birthday, cook you dinner, take you out? Did he do anything special for you or anything at all? Even if he had kissed you on the cheek and said Happy Birthday that would have been nice but i'm not sure you want to be involved with someone that does not take your feelings into consideration.
Also, saying he wants to get married and actually doing it are two different things.
Does he do any of the following? When he speaks about you guys as a couple does he say us or does he use the words I or me or you. Does he say the following " When we get married, we will (fill in the blanks). I want us to get married by the time(fill in the blanks). Basically, does he talk about marriage other than saying he wants to get married. If he talks about it a lot without you mentioning it, marriage is on his mind and he will marry you. The question is when.
If he only mentions marriage when you mention it or when you ask him about it, he is bidding your time....move along
2006-10-31 00:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by m_harvery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want a real, lasting commitment...
The guy you're with is avoiding a real, lasting commitment and has even cheated on you.
I know it's very hard to let go of something that you have been a part of for so long...that's a big part of your life!! I admit that it would be difficult for me as well. But if you've been together for 7 years and he hasn't made the move yet, don't expect him to any time soon. It's not wrong for him to not get married, but his wants in life are not the same as yours...and staying together will only frustrate you since you're clearly on a different path than he is. It's time to pick up the pieces and find a guy who is on your path.
2006-10-31 00:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Mary K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have given him an ultimatum, which means that you mean business. You have given him til you turn 31, on your birthday, you expect an answer either way. Honey, I think you got one.
You have no ring, correct? Bingo. If you just want to get married, then go find a man out there who will marry you. If you want to marry the man you're with, ultimatums don't swing it. Threatening is not the the way to go.
What to do? Work on yourself, get a hobby, get to a therapist. Find out why 31 is such a magic number to you and why this man you are with is the one you want to marry. Although I suspect in your post, that it's really the idea of marriage you want, and not really him. And perhaps he's picked up on that.
2006-10-31 00:08:09 · answer #4 · answered by brilliantyetconfused 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer. If you gave him an ultimatum that he needed to propose to you by your 31st birthday, and he didn't, then he is telling you something. You can't try to extend the ultimatum or he will never propose. I would cut my losses now, and find someone who is in the same place as you are in life. Obviously you are wanting a commitment and he isn't ready, and may never be.
2006-10-31 00:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by cricketfish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what you do. Just assume that he is serious and start setting up the wedding. See how he reacts. If he is unhappy about it, that's your clue that he will never commit. Walk away and never look back.
2006-10-31 00:05:51 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT REALLY SOUND LIKE YOU NEED TO START LOOKING
ELSEWHERE, IF YOU HAVE TO ASK THEN MAYBE THAT
THE SIGN TO MOVE ON, IF YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER
FOR 7 YEARS, LIVE TOGETHER FOR 3 THAT A LONG TIME
AND IF HE HAS NOT PROPOSE THEN IF YOU REALLY WANT
TO GET MARRIED. TIME TO MOVE ON GIRLFRIEND.
2006-10-31 00:13:09 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that. I just hate to see a girl stuck with guys like that. Please find someone who will cherish you. Don't get marry for the sake of getting marry. Find someone whom you will be happy with.
Good luck!
2006-10-31 00:06:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hell no!!!! he was proabably super nervous. i no i would be. and as for him falling asleep, well, us guys do that.
2006-10-31 00:05:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋