What should I do about my dad?

Question

I have a question about my father. He treats me badly. He was never a good Christian role model. I know he loves me but he curses at me a lot and is verbally abusive to my mother and I. The other night, my girlfriend and I were at his house holding hands on the couch. I know this story sounds childish and stupid.. My girlfriend said something about the F- word being in the dictionary. I whispered in her ear and she playfully slapped me on the arm. I do not remember what I said, but it was not anything bad. We were just flirting with each other. My dad saw me and thought I had said the F-word to my girlfriend. My girlfriend is 19 and I am 22. He gave me a horrible dirty look and continued to glare at me for the rest of the night. I was mortified. My girlfriend was meeting my dad for the first time and she saw his looks and asked me later why he was so mad at me. When I told her, she was shocked, because I had not said anything wrong to her, my dad just thought I did.

I tried to tell my dad what happened but he doesnt believe me. I do not have a reputation for a dirty mouth and he has never heard me say that word. What should I do? I know the Bible says to honor him, but he has put me through so much. I love him but I am tired of abuse

my mom bought up the topic not my gf we do not live with them we were visiting

Answer 1

The last time I checked, it said you should honor and respect your wife and children as well, not to beat or verbally abuse them.

Simply remind him how much of a hypocrite he is.

Answer 2

For all men who have grown up in a home where their fathers were not the best role models.

This would include even the sons of King David, who had a heart for God, but somehow couldnt figure out how to raise his sons with the same love.

There are books out by a certain Author named John ELdredge.

The newest title is called the way of the wild heart
This newest one is more directed on how to lead your own son into manhood without having had that role model yourself.

His older books are directed at understanding and healing of yourself by realizing that you do have a perfect role model of a father to go by.

My husband was helped dramatically by the first books, and in turn this has helped my sons. I highly recommend this as an answer to your question. I wish I could remember the exact title, but I think it is called Wild at heart. After you read it, you might want to get a copy for your father, as he may have had the same type of fathering and husbanding as you and your mother are getting, This could break the cycle and that would be the biggest blessing of all, even if the cycle only stops with you and your future children

Answer 3

abuse is an over used word. What you have is a failure to communicate. Repair your relationship. Ifyou do not know how enlist the help of a pastor or counselor from a church. It might be best if you got one from a different church where nobody puts money in the plate. Even if he won't go you can have some guidance on the relationship long term. Do not contribute to the abuse of the word abuse.

Answer 4

Is there anyone that can have a word with him? Can your mom talk to him when he is calm. Does he have a brother or best friend that you can go to?I had a similar problem with my dad as well, the abuse. He is a good man at heart but?????If you don't live at home you need to stand up to him like a man, not disrespectful but show him you are a man and he needs to stop.Do not argue with him talk. If you live at home go through one of the people I mentioned if you can.What did I do in my situation? I got a little bit older and stood up to him.No one else in my immediate family stands up to him and he treats them badly. You have got to eventually make him respect you as an adult. Good luck

Answer 5

You can't change your father.

You can be a good witness to him, and to others, by living a godly life, and setting an example of Christ in amongst the "abuse" of your father.

Jesus admonishes wives to do this with unbelieving husbands, and to pray for them, and the general theme of the Bible is to forgive and be a witness.

Beyond that, Jesus responds to the question of "how many times should I forgive?" with 7 times 70... whinc doesn't mean count the number of times your forgive... it means forgive more times than you can count.

That is the true witness of a Christian... standing in faith during times of trouble.

Oh, and if you are tired of the "abuse", you can always move out... you are an adult.

Answer 6

My Dad is a bit like that sometimes he shouts at people sometimes but he's not as bad as he used to be. I usually just stand up to him or ignore him. Maybe it was the way ur Dad was brought up. I would just ignore him if he wants to act like that it's his problem. If he wants to make him self look silly in front of g/f that his problem. Just tell him u know what happened u've told him the truth and u don't care what he thinks. Tell him ur insulted that he thinks u r like that when u have never swore or anything. Maybe u could sit down and talk to ur Dad and ask him if they're is some way he and u can improve ur relationship with him.

Answer 7

It's most likely the way he was raised. You have to be patient and tolerate his ways. If you feel strongly enough about it, try having a heart to heart with him. He will probably not want to, but so what. You're a big boy so he should respect you. Although on the other side of that, no matter how old you are, you will always be his son. Hmmm... I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but I meant well.

Answer 8

I know how you feel I was raised by a Marine Corp Drill Sergeant, he expected perfection from me no matter what from the earliest memories in my life.
That made me an out cast in this world because humans aren't like that.
He is still like that today we have never gotten along together, just try to live your own life and don't let it get to you because he'll probably always be like that..

Answer 9

You're 22 and you're still putting up with this? Where are your cojones, man? It's past time for you to move out. Your dad does not love you or he would not treat you this way. If you think you can't afford to move out, pick up the phone book and look up the location of the nearest Marine Corps recruiter. Then go down there and sign up. The Corps will see to it that you grow up!

Answer 10

You are of an age where you should be responsible for yourself, so I suggest you move out and do just that. There isn't anything you can do for your father other than forgive him for being imperfect and stand up for yourself when he wrongs you.

Also, from what you are saying here, your g/f's choice of conversation is inappropriate. If this was said in your parents home, she owes them an apology.