I know it's cheating and I know now I am a cheater, but I sincerely don't mean for this to happen. I have a live-in boyfriend who I have been with for 4 years. I love him and know he is 'the one' I wanna be with. HOWEVER, since I have met this new guy, he reminds me of all the excitement I used to have in the past. We work together and there is almost no way I can avoid him unless I quit my job, which I can't really afford that right now. The new guy knows I have a live-in boyfriend, but he doesn't care. This guy doesn't try to take advantage with me or anything, he just really likes me. I honestly know that this is so wrong that I am emotionally involved with another guy and that my boyfriend doesn't know anything about it. The new guy is just a fling and we haven't done anything yet. I really don't wanna keep going like this because sooner or later, physical stuff will happen if I'm not careful. I hope you all can be open-minded and give me straight forwarded suggestions. Thanks!
2006-10-30 15:32:10 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am really worried about this. I feel like a bad person. I know I've come out as a freaking bad person, but I can't control how I feel. I don't think I know this new guy real well, but know I don't really want any long-term stuff with him...at least..not right now. I guess I miss the first stage of dating in general. So when there is a new guy, I feel the excitement. So confused right now. He is extremely attractive though.
2006-10-30 15:55:19 · update #1
You are suffering from lust and flattery.
Step back . Take a deep breath.
Is 'new guy' worth tossing away boyfriend guy?
If you encourage 'new guy' what does that say about you?
{read not trustworthy}
Sometimes attached people are attractive to others because THEY ARE ATTACHED.
New person gets their ego boast without the threat of commitment.
Think back what attracted you to Boyfriend?
Nurture that relationship, the love feelings will return. Things of value require a choice....time......and yes work
Back at work run, don't walk from new guy.
Do you have a trustworthy girlfriend who will hold you accountable?
If after all the soul searching you do wish to explore the possability of new guy do the decent thing. Break up with boyfriend, move out, then and only then give new guy your attention.
I think you know what the best choice is, do it.
Best to you!
2006-10-30 16:25:34 · answer #1 · answered by godchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong to have a fling while having a live-in boyfriend. If you guys didn't live together and were in an "open relationship" then it wouldn't be as bad.
My friend was involved with someone for appx. 2 and a half years, and she yearned for excitedment and when she finally found someone that was more exciting than her bf, she realized how much she was missing out with her youth. Needless to say she broke up with her bf.
Maybe you and your bf should go on a break, or try something new. If you know he is the one, then you should know that you need to end your fling and maybe do something new and adventurous for you and your bf to do to bring back some spark.
2006-10-30 15:42:11 · answer #2 · answered by Jean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A fling is a once in a lifetime thing. You are falling for this other guy. If you say the boyfriend is forever then you are wrong or you wouldn't cheat.You don't have to quit your job. Just tell this other guy that it is over and that is that. If you love the boyfriend then you need to work on that or get outbefore you hurt him or the other one anymore. Someone is going to get hurt and it isn't right to treat people like that. You really need to do some soul searching and hard and fast.
2006-10-30 15:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by Ready G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience - yes it is wrong - someone is bound to get hurt - and you will be surprised who that is. I have lived with my current boyfriend for 3 years, but I was feeling less than happy because he can be a bit abusive. (Throws temper tantrums, smacked me in the face, threw an alarm clock at me, cut a bracelet off my wrist) Out of the blue, my ex boyfriend looked me up an proceeded to get me all emotionally involved with him - before telling me he got married 9 months ago!!!! I sent him back to his wife, but not before suffering some major pain. Then I had to deal with the guilt and I confessed all to my boyfriend and told him I was sorry for cheating - to my surprise, he forgave me and said it was his fault because he knew he was a terrible person and I deserve better. Our relationship is basically over, but neither one of us has the balls to leave the other right now. Im trying to work up the courage to do so, but it is hard after all Ive been through recently. Think about what you are doing - why are you tempted to cheat? Is it just the excitement of having someone pay attention to you? Or is there something innately wrong in your relationship (like mine)? Cheating hurts everybody involved, so think about it carefully.
2006-10-30 15:53:45 · answer #4 · answered by theotherwoman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're risking a relationship with a man that you think is "the one" for a little fun and excitement. How many "the ones" do you think you will find in your life? Also, what you are contemplating is very very selfish. And yes it is wrong because you would hurt you live-in guy very much. Tell Mr. Smooth at work to back off and quit talking to him.
If you insist on having a physical relationship with the work guy have the decency to break it off with the roomie first.
2006-10-30 15:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by Brainiac 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like you said cheating is cheating, and you can't call it a fling when you say that you are emotionally involved with this other guy. It's one or the other. If this other guy is the one why don't you bring up the fact that the "spice" is out of your relationship and do something about it.
2006-10-30 15:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea im 17 and not at all had a boyfriend and it does kinda hassle me using fact each and every physique i be attentive to has executed so lots greater then me already. some circumstances i think like im becoming older and its merely going to get greater good and greater good to get a guy yet then i think of to myself. If i discover the appropriate guy, he shouldn't care and thats what i seem for now.
2016-11-26 20:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're a woman and you cheat, then yes it is severely wrong. You should be imprisoned for that.
However, if a guy has a live-in girlfriend and he cheats on her, then that just means that the girlfriend wasn't putting out enough so he went to find poontang somewhere else. It's her fault! So she should be imprisoned for that.
2006-10-30 15:35:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your boyfriend you'd like to spice up your life. I meet mine at his job for lunch and we try new restaurants, or just come home for an hour (wink, wink). Think of something new is all.
2006-10-30 15:36:48 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um, you have issues and need to grow a pair and break up with your live in boyfriend, or this guy that you are having a fling with.
2006-10-30 15:34:38 · answer #10 · answered by The Pilot 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋