my friend invited me to his engagement party. i got him really expensive glassware and then a month before the wedding when the invites went out, he visited me at work and said he had to leave me out of the guest list cos he doesnt have enough money to include me. do you think this was a careless mistake or he knew i wouldnt be going and invited me to the enagement for the present? he did come to tell me to my face. what do you think
2006-10-30 14:39:18 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He probably didn't do it on purpose, but it was really, really, really rude. General etiquette dictates that all the people invited to the engagement party should be invited to the wedding.
2006-10-30 14:47:47 · answer #1 · answered by marij 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that weddings can get insanely expensive and overwhelming for the couple. It sounds like this was the case. Obviously he felt terrible, or he wouldn't have bothered to do it in person.
You know your friend best, is he REALLY the kind of person to invite folks "just for the present?" This just seems like a very odd human quality, I just don't believe it....
The jealous wife thing might have some possibility too...do you know her at all? Was she the jealous type? Do some research. Also, find out how big this wedding is. If its huge, then you have every right to be pissed. If its a smaller, more intimate affair, then he probably had no choice and felt very, very shitty about it.
Regardless, I suggest you do some soul searching and try to figure out what this friend really means to you. This was a very hurtful thing to have happen, and you would be justified in not continuing the friendship. If this is the case, you might want to consider writing a well-thought-out letter explaining your feelings and wishing him luck with his new life for closure.
2006-10-30 17:29:34 · answer #2 · answered by SummerPixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he probably invited you to the engagment party knowing t hat you would't be invited to the wedding, which is in very bad taste. But I don't think he did it for a gift, usually at engagement partys you shouldn't bring a gift anyway, so I would hope they bride and groom wern't expecting anything from their guests. But you should be a little upset, but not tottally. I think that he is your friend, and I think he wanted you at some sort of celebration for his wedding, even though money is tight. Try not to be completley upset. Most people have a good idea on who they will invite to their wedding long before invitations go out, so maybe becasue you are a friend, they needed to make sure and get more family in there first. Don't be sad, but let your friend know that it kinda upsets you. Good Luck
2006-10-30 15:25:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't just jump to the conclusion that your friend is some horrible person. He did come and tell you that you did not make the wedding guest list, and that says a lot for him. He could have just left you hanging if his intent was to just string you along to get a gift. Engagement parties are not nearly as spendy as weddings and anyone who says what difference does one person make has never planned a wedding. I have gone to a couple of engagement parties, but not the weddings. They are people I know, but not necessarily the top priority for the wedding, and that is OK with me....I know they still are friends. If he came to you to let you know what was going on, I would give him the benefit of the doubt. If he was just being a jerk, he wouldn't have needed to explain why you didn't get a wedding invite.
Cut him some slack, he is under a lot of stress.
2006-10-30 14:52:47 · answer #4 · answered by monkeedee2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is how you can find out if he's telling the truth about not having enough money to include you...
Tell him you would still like to attend the wedding ceremony but you won't go to the reception. That way you can still be there for him as a friend but it won't cost him a dime. See what he says then...
2006-10-31 12:59:05 · answer #5 · answered by iluvdirt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he did anything on purpose. Paying for a wedding is really hard and maybe he figured you would understand.
Unless...his bride to be is jealous and didn't want you to come to the wedding...you would know if that were the case and then again he would have been in a difficult spot.
2006-10-30 14:42:48 · answer #6 · answered by DeborahDel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you at the instant are not being a b*tch! you have each and every appropriate and reason to tell that individual to not ensue. the way your buddy blew you off says a lot approximately them! you gave your buddy assorted notice in strengthen and that they couldnt even put in the attempt to work out you while all they had to do replace into set aside an afternoon for the occasion. additionally, in the journey that your persons cant understand your needs, the two cause them to and their visitors go away or end having events with those people!
2016-10-16 13:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesn't matter for what reason he un-invited you, i think that was really rude of him! you're his friend, after all. that's like saying he doesn't wish you to be a part of this special time in his life. if i were you, i would take back his present and maybe send him just a nice card or something. if he doesn't have enough money to include you, then you don't have enough money to include him!
2006-10-30 14:43:03 · answer #8 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't be mad at him. He explained the reason. He invited you to the engagement party because he knew he couldn't have you at the wedding.
2006-10-30 14:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by jammer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 theories and a reply to each......
1) he just wanted an engagement gift
2)his new wife isn't comfortable with him having women friends
3)he considers you enough of a friend to give a gift but not celebrate
my replys.....
1)he just rude and their is no solution to change his behavior
2) talk to his wife and find out if she is comfortable with him having you as a friend
3) I'd loose him as a friend
2006-10-30 14:46:52 · answer #10 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋