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Earlier today I saw a post on here where a woman was talking about hiring a private eye to investigate her daughters boyfriend. Somebody mention the link http://background-records.net/ as a good place to find info online. Well I checked out the site and entered my sisters boyfriends name and found out that he was convicted of armed robbery in 1999. I know this is him because the name, date of birth, and address are all the same. I am sure my sister doesn't know (and I am damn sure our dad doesn't know).......should I tell my sister or our dad? I don't know how to handle this situation.

2006-10-30 13:27:37 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

29 answers

You should definitely tell her. I wouldn't tell your dad first, though, because dads tend to react strongly where their little girls are concerned. (At least mine does and I have preteen kids of my own now!) Only involve him if you have to. Print out the report you found so you can show her proof positive, otherwise she may try to defend him. Good luck! I hope she has sense enough to listen to reason.

2006-10-30 13:37:30 · answer #1 · answered by Chocoholic 4 · 0 2

Well yes, your sisters age has something to do with it . But if he's been good for almost 8 years , it's likely his days of crime are behind him .. As a person who has known a convicted felon or two, they get away with more than they get caught with, but it doesn't take 8 years to catch somebody . Why don't you talk to him before you stir up his s*** ? I have a cousin that was arrested in armed robbery ,and it was the only crime he ever commited , and that was 30 years ago . He's a wonderful Husband and a step Father to 6 kids that he lovingly raised . People make regretful mistakes and then move on . It seems you know him ( his date of birth,address, etc. ) well enough that you could go directly to him . Good luck

2006-10-30 13:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1 1

Be certain that you are correct. Then, to make you not look like a rat, or misinformed, tell the boyfriend what you've found out and that he should be the one to tell her. This is nothing to keep secret for very long. No matter what though, eventually the truth will somehow come out. Without being intimidating or threatening convince him it would be in his best interests to speak up especially if their relationship gets to be more serious. The sooner the better too. Keep quiet for now. But let him know you won't keep quiet forever.

2006-10-30 22:03:26 · answer #3 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0 1

I think you should show the sight to you sister, and tell her that you love her and are concerned for her future, and you want to make sure that she is aware of his past. I wouldn't challenge her about it, she possibly already knows, and felt that this was private information.....which it very well may be. If your sister is young, then you need to tell her that she needs to inform your parents. If she is older, then you need to respect her wishes. If you are very uncomfortable with this, you certainly have the right to let her know that he is not welcome into your home. If you feel she is in danger because of current activities that are talking place, possibly a family meeting should happen. Saying this...i do think you should think very carefully about the approach you choose, you don't want to risk losing your sister in your life because she feels she is being judged, or ganged up on. Remember....it is possible that his crime was just a bad choice on a bad day, and that he is a changed man...if that is the case, he has done his time and paid his price and deserves for that time in his life to be left in his past...but your sister definitely should be aware of something as serious as this...hopefully he has already told her.

2006-10-30 14:38:14 · answer #4 · answered by catywhumpass 5 · 0 1

Maybe you should start by telling the boyfriend what you know and giving him the opportunity to tell her himself. If he won't tell her, I think you should, but he should have the chance to make the confession.

If your sister is a minor, or if this guy spends time at your dad's house, it seems that your dad ought to know what kind of person is in his home. Once again, best if the boyfriend fesses up in his own words.

It would help to know how old you and your sister are, and how old her boyfriend was when this happened. People can change alot in 8 years.

Good luck to all of you.

2006-10-30 13:40:18 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Switch 5 · 2 1

She has a real to understand yet please undergo in concepts the old declaring of "kill the messenger." You went behind her back and snooped, and alongside with owing her an apology for doing so, now you've undesirable information to impart. searching on your courting including her, she would by no skill sense a similar about YOU, and can want to really be uncomfortable round you. also do not assume her to ditch the guy. If the guy hasn't finished some thing contained in the ultimate seven years, he develop into smart sufficient to study his lesson. My husband has been in federal reformatory for 26 years, serving a 40-one years sentence. reformatory is organic hell. that's not glamourous and crammed with fairly boy punks like the television exhibits and videos. that's a terrible position, and the smart ones who spend time there promise themselves they are going to by no skill bypass back. This guy would properly be a a lot superior man or woman than the traditional guy if he's completed time. he's taken under consideration stuff he might want to by no skill inform you about, and lived the way maximum people might want to no longer comprehend. He probable has an appreciation for freedom that very few people comprehend. So don't be too quick to judge. enable her understand, then step back. She would properly be livid with you for checking up on him behind her back, and word your action as a betrayal, distinctly now that it will substitute each and every thing about her courting with him. So do not assume "oh thanks!" assume some anger, some denial, wonder, and take care of it like an man or woman. You snooped, era, and owe her an apology. it would properly be the ultimate aspect that ever got here about to her, yet I wager that's going to take awhile for her to delight in it. strong success to both one among you.

2016-10-16 07:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by svendsen 4 · 0 0

Yes, as hard as it may be, and impeding on her relationship it may be, I think it is important for her to know this information. Perhaps you can just suggest she look him up, (act like you are unaware) and let her discover it on her own. Either way she has the right to know. I"m not saying she should break it off with him, but at least they could discuss the situation and go from there. When I met my fiance she later told me that she also did a check on my backround. I told her that I was glad she did, not because I dont have a history, but because It was a good idea to check for her and her kids safety.

2006-10-30 13:47:41 · answer #7 · answered by CDog 3 · 0 2

i would say yes, you should tell your sister. do it very quiet, and calmly. take her someplace quiet, and sit her down, then ASK her if she knows what you just found out, if she says no then, you've let her know, but if she rejects the information, and you feel like she might be in danger of some sort, then you should tell your dad. but save that as a last resort, because you do not want to start a problem that could be avoided.

2006-10-30 15:09:47 · answer #8 · answered by Confused & Young 4 · 0 1

Hell yes.

Tell them. You don't mention the ages of your sister or yourself. But chances are, at some point, the felon may be a guest in your parent's house, and I think your parents deserve to know that information.

Forewarned is forearmed.

Then your Dad will have a chance to confront him about it. At least it will be out in the open. Maybe the felon has gone straight.......and maybe not. You just don't know.

Good luck.

2006-10-30 13:34:57 · answer #9 · answered by submariner662 4 · 2 2

I wouldn't tell anyone until I found out for sure. This is the disclaimer from that website:

This information is provided as reference material only, the information although obtained from official records CANNOT and should NOT be assumed to be accurate.

2006-10-30 14:09:06 · answer #10 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 1 1

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