My daughter who is now 27 yrs old went to live with her father four years ago; he hardly ever was around while she was growing up. My daughter thinks he is sooo funny and cool. My ex-husband and his girlfriend told my daughter I was a horrible person and made up a bunch of stuff about me. What has made it worse is that my daughter has chosen to believe them.
She has not spoken to me in 3 1/2 years now. When I sent her a check and birthday card several years ago she cashed the check and never said thank you. I've waited and waited hoping she would contact me, we used to be so close. Looks like she is never going to contact me, it's pretty obvious she hates me and chooses to believe her father and girlfriend who are drug addicts. The last time I spoke with my daughter she was demanding money from me and sounded very angry and possibly on drugs.
Her father won't speak to me where I can even find out how my daughter is. It hurts that she hates me.
2006-10-30 13:24:45 · 17 answers · asked by janelle p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
omg... my mom died when i was six. i barley remember her. i love love to have a mom like you who was concerned and felt the way you do. i am very tight with my family but my boyfriend constantly talks about how much he hates his mom and dad so heres what i learned from him. if it will work with your daughter im not sure but you seem willing to try anything. 1. Money looks like a pathetic excuse to try to make ammends. 2. if you make a promice, keep it. 3. go out of your way to see her and show her that you love her. 4. tell her thatyour relationship with her father shouldnt effect your relationship with her. 5. tell her that you miss her and that she is an important part of your life. thats the best i can tell you. i hope she comes through. it makes me sick when familys dont get along.
2006-10-30 14:20:53 · answer #1 · answered by Amyscastle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you suspect that she is on drugs, I would not send her any money. I'm not a mother, but a daughter, and I cannot even fathom being so disrespectful and full of hatred towards my mother. I cannot understand what you are going through because of this but I can only imagine the sadness you feel. I can tell you that someday she might come to her senses however that is giving you hope. You have your own hopes for your daughter and your's relationship I don't need to force feed you false hope. Take care and I do hope that everything will turn out ok. Time will be the only judge on this one.
2006-10-30 14:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a sister who is doing this to our mom, It is absolutely stupid! Your daughter is at the age where she makes her own decisions, I'm sure she listens to her father, but that's because he has not done anything to piss er off yet. Something must have happen to make her believe what they are saying. It's the type of person she is that will bring her back.
There is nothing my mom could ever do that would make me not talk to her. Nothing at all! She is the only mother I have!
She will come around and when she does do not shut her out she probably will need you because her father hurt her, just don;t turn your back no matter what! Be there with open arms! Good Luck!
PS. She doesn't hate you I'm sure!
2006-10-30 13:34:06 · answer #3 · answered by littlegoober75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your daughter is an adult, first of all. she can't hang anything over your head. Don't send her money because she doesn't appreciate you. even if you did some bad things in your life, that was your life, ask God for forgiveness and when you do then it's all taken care of. You can only pray for your daughter, and maybe someday she'll come to her senses. Don't let this get you down, go on with your life. She's a grown woman. Let her see that she's not gonna get to you. After all those years , now she decides to believe her father. Leave it up to God, He'll take care of the situation.
2006-10-30 14:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by smart007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the outlook isn't sooo good at the moment, but you need to be patient. The truth will show itself in time, and when it does she will see that you aren't the person they are saying. Perhaps trying to prove them wrong wouldn't hurt, but i am sure it gets very discouraging. Keep in mind, even though she acts like she doesn't want you , she secretly does. Perhaps she is afraid of breaking her loyalty to her father. Who knows, just be there for her the best you can and wait for her to come around. It may not happen today or tomorrow, but when she has a child she will understand. Good Luck to you.
2006-10-30 13:29:37 · answer #5 · answered by amandaped25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didnt say how old, Id guess 15 or younger *your daughter? Id punish her for such immature behaviour and let her know that is not acceptable. Your not teaching her to behave like a lady by not punishing her, like serverly punishing her. She may continue to be this outspoken and serverly rude for quite sometime if you do not take proventative actions. She needs to write a letter of appoolgy one that you will proof read and approve and she should send this letter of appologoy. Making her spell it all out, shell have time to reflect on her manners, and he motivation. Some kids dont like their brothers getting married. You need to change that immature behaviour. Its more your deal than hers, show her how to be polite nice and accepting of people, she may not really know this, there is no class at school and saying that is not nice, isnt teaching someone anything.
2016-05-22 13:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but she a grown woman. but i know how you feel because even though they are older they are still your kids. but i mean all you can do is show her your love and you still care about her. i know she in a place right now that she cant get out but she will find out the hard way. also try to open her eyes. show her you are not the bad person. all i can say is have faith in god and just pray and i know everything is going to be oh ok. so i wish you the best and good luck.
2006-10-30 13:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by Melda R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a short note to let you know that my teenage daughter has not been speaking to me for nearly 2 years.
Since 3 months now, she's been talking to me.
So try to find out the reasons for such behaviour.
I understand that it really hurts.
2006-10-30 14:30:44 · answer #8 · answered by Meemee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out why, she does, if she does. Maybe you did something, she didn't like or maybe it was something he said to her about you. But she is an adult, and has to make her own decisons in every regard. She should love you in a daughter/mother way, though. Something's wrong.
2006-10-30 15:51:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry to hear that. Someday she will understand. I can understand how you feel, but if she doesn't believe you, no matter how much you talk to her, she still wouldn't change. It will take some time for her to realize the truth.
2006-10-30 13:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by leazngurl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋