ok my bf thinks that girls who like their hair pulled or to be spanked or saying things during sex is weird, He says he thinks girls who are like that have mental problems from childhood or something, is this true? I almost feel like I cant express myself because he thinks its weird... Im not sure what to think of this...he told me once with his ex she said to pull her hair and right then he got up and left... so i dont know....
2006-10-30 13:20:14 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he's got problems with his childhood psychologically...something is wrong with him and he makes it like its the girls problems...forget about him and move on
2006-10-30 13:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by leazngurl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lots of girls and guys have fetishes about having there hair pulled or being spanked some like feet there are all kinds of fetishes
and unless your fetish is illegal or hurts someone else or causes you physical or emotional distress then there is nothing wrong with it
this is your boyfriends problem
If you can not express yourself to him then that may be a sign that latter you will not be able to express about other things
everyone likes different things your boyfriend may not be comfortable being that aggressive and that is okay to
the question is weather you can express yourself and find a happy middle ground Good luck
2006-10-30 13:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
.
YOUR sexual preferences are yours alone.
You should never pressure another person to like what you like...it won't last.
If they experiment with you, and make a decision it is not for them, you have to accept they are different. Simple.
So, if you are not matched correctly as far as your preferences, then you may have to consider giving up something, or spliting up to find someone the same as you.
It is ok to NOT like things.
It is ok to LIKE things.
Spanking and hair pulling of a degree could far under dom or S&M.
You need to understand that not eveyone likes that level of sexual intensity.
I do not believe liking extreme sexual behavors has anything to do with mental illness. But it IS possible it has to do with having so much sex, so often that the basics become mundane for some that
needs more and more stimulant to reach orgasm.
For these folks, sex goes beyond an expression of love between two people,
and can go to the extreme of obsessive or compulsive behavor as their
"drug of choice".
Only you can decide if your own preferences fall in the normal range to where they are not hurting you or anyone else.
stw
.
2006-10-30 13:31:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either he's very young and naive, or he's repressed and uptight - or maybe all those things. But whatever the reason, if he dumped his last g/f just because she wanted him to pull her hair, it doesn't sound like he's going to be persuaded any time soon.
As for 'mental problems from childhood', it seems far more likely that he's the one with problems. You're just a girl with a healthy yen for a bit of mildly kinky sex. Find yourself another guy - and have fun!
2006-10-31 03:44:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Liking :kinky" sex denotates a certain amount of emotional dependency, however that is not always the case. However you should and must express yourself because your true character and personlaity will come out eventually better now than later. If he can not handle this then you just may be better off withou him. Good luck, here the key is communication tell him how you feel and see how he reacts to it.
2006-10-30 13:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by Leididanger 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might be like me. I would have a hard time doing that to my wife even if she asked me because I feel that women should be cherished not treated badly. He has to learn as I have that there are times when the "normal" things are ignored and as long as what they are asking is not detremental then give the other person the pleasure they desire.
He needs to grow up and understand that it will give you pleasure and therefore he should be willing to do so.
Make sure you tell him that you will let him know if he is being too rough etc.
2006-10-30 13:26:38 · answer #6 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may not have lived in a cave (they really DID pull hair!), but he sure doesn't know a whole lot about women!
Express yourself....DON'T repress yourself just to please him or the relationship isn't going to go anywhere. You'll be miserable.
If he can't, or won't, try to get over his dysfunction you may need to find yourself someone more compatible. Sex may not be everything, but it sure is fun when BOTH have fun!
2006-10-30 13:26:11 · answer #7 · answered by Dez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suppose it has something to do with his upbringing. A good spanking, light hair pulling, naughty verbal exchange can all be very erotic, however if it is not enjoyed by both parties it won't be enjoyed by either party. Have you asked him the whys and wherefores to his aversion to the issue?
2006-10-30 13:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by WhiteChocolate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy crap.... you cannot live the rest of your life like that. If you are not being fulfilled sexually, you will never be satisfied with your relationship. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for wanting those things. Feel free to express yourself.
2006-10-30 13:25:15 · answer #9 · answered by acrbailey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not been in a cave his whole life, but that doesn't mean that he has to like doing that to a girl. Find something you both can agree on doing that's mutually pleasureable.
2006-10-30 13:23:32 · answer #10 · answered by Rex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is the strange one. Sex these days is about experiencing new things and doing what feels good. if pain brings you pleasure then do it. i'm with you on this one
2006-10-30 13:24:15 · answer #11 · answered by buckylasterd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋