I mentor 14 yr old teen and I have a problem with his mom right now. I made plans to take him to a sporting event this Saturday and had cleared it with her several weeks ago. I bought tickets ($50). I now learn that they are going to New york city that day only 5 days before. Also, I need to tell you, he isn't doing well in school and one of the incentives I've given him to improve is grades is that if his next report card is good, that I would take him on a trip to New York for the weekend ( we live fairly close to NYC). This is a trip that he wants to do. His Mom is aware of this incentive and his grades have not improved. I feel that she is totally undermining me on trip and I'm pretty upset about it along with the fact that I have made time for her son and bought tickets to the event. We have been open with each other in the past. Should I confront her about this? Should I explain how I feel about this trip? Should she be taking him to NYC when his grades are not good?
2006-10-30 12:56:40 · 3 answers · asked by tyler b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She has asked me to cut back on some of the bigger outings that I do with her son due to his grades..... (like until your grades are better "jonny" Tyler can't take you her or ther) and now she is taking him to NYC????
2006-10-30 13:09:25 · update #1
His mom is afraid that you are going to be more fun, more enjoyable for him than she is. She probably feels like she has to compete with you for his love. Not saying he loves you, but you know what I mean. She's trying to get ahead of you in doing things that she knows he wants to do. I do understand your concern & it sounds like maybe his grades aren't so good because she doesn't enforce rules, maybe out of fear of having him mad at her.
As for advice, if this is a woman you know well enough & who won't get mad & cut you out of the boy's life, I say sit down and talk to her about this.
2006-10-30 13:11:15 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. She may be feeling like her son is starting to enjoy being with you more than with her. She may be trying to win back his love. Talk to her and at the very least you will hopefully know where she stands.
Great job being a mentor.
Good Luck.
2006-10-30 22:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by lyns 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is none of your business what the mom does with her child how ever she should be more grate full to you for offering to do things with him.I think if you confront her she will ask for another mentor.
you have no voice in what she fills he deserves as far as taking him on a trip he is her child not yours and his school grades are her problem not yours
2006-10-30 21:03:33 · answer #3 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋