My ex of almost a year broke up with me a month ago. We were very much in love for about 9 months and had a strange, distant last month before it all ended. He said it was largely because we had "different values" and were raised different. I realized it was because he thought I was taking him for granted and made it hard for him to bring this up. I wrote an apology, for which he said he was very grateful for and "needed to hear" but the break up is still on. We agreed to take some time before we start speaking again, so I said I'd contact him in another few weeks. I really want to make this work, but feel like I already did enough and anything more would be throwing myself at him...what do you think? How should I act when we meet up again? What should I do/say/talk about? Do I just try to just "be friends" and hope he sees the person he originally fell in love with? Do we talk about how it all ended? Lunch? Dinner? Friendly game of ping pong? Help!
2006-10-30 12:39:27 · 15 answers · asked by SummerPixie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First - let him come to you.
The "different set of values" thing sounds somewhat fishy. You either terribly offended him somehow, or he may even be seeing someone else.
And it's obvious you are very hurt.
You have done all you need to do - the written letter was very classy. The onus is NOT on you to make a move and resolve the relationship issue. It is on him.
Should you run into him at some event, very sincerely tell him 'HI' and then go visit with someone else. HE NEEDS TO COME TO YOU. If he is sincere, he will tell you, without your having to prod, what the real issue was. Then you decide what should happen next. If he has to look away when he tells you the issue, then you need to look for someone more deserving of your sincerity and dedication. And there are plenty out there.
2006-10-30 12:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Nuk.Nuk.Nuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They best thing to do is to give your heart time to heal before doing anything.... if you said you would call him in a few weeks, give him a month or so and call just to say hi, dont reminisce about the break up or what you had.... .keep it casual and make it into a friendship, if you keep bringing up the break up and all that he may not want to stick around to be friends with you , but you do have to keep in mind that you dont want to push that either.... do something with a group of people for a while... just let him know that you want to be friends, but for now no more than that... maybe later down the road you can be more again...
2006-10-30 12:47:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't call him in a few weeks. Sounds like he is the one who broke up, let him be the one to make the move to call you. When you meet up again, talk like a friend and don't put too much into it. It will be better in the end for both of you. I feel if someone lets you go for the reasons you say, he will eventually change his mind if he truly loves you.
2006-10-30 12:42:07 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally when a couple have break up when the next time they meet again the feeling is very different. The feeling of love may be vanished or minimum. We can't tell how to act when you meet him again coz it depends on how deep is your love towards him.
I think you still can be his friends if he don't mind having a friend.
2006-10-30 19:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you've done enough and yes, don't throw yourself at him. You should be able to speak normally to him as your were together for 9 months. Just be yourself. Let him do all the talking and if it's a big flop, then it wasn't meant to be. Good luck.
2006-10-30 12:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by jammer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
settle down. look, if he broke up with you, then there has got to be somthing that he dosnt like about you. im not trying to be harsh but get over it. i found out the hard way by dating the same girl twice. it wont work. thats that. if they break up with you once, then nothing about him will change, he will be the same, and so will you. he will end up finding another flaw in your personality and use it as an excuse to break up. theres loads of fish in the sea my friend, you just have to catch the right one.
2006-10-30 12:44:53 · answer #6 · answered by GuitarGod3739 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know what had made him to think you actually took him for granted.he wanted a break up.and you gave that.still, you have put in a lot of effort to brign back the relationship together. but you are not getting any signs from him.so, let it go. i mean, you have said it out-your feelings.you have given your best. its up to him.though you want it work, what can you do if he does not want you.he shoud be lucky to have a girl whose willing to express her feelings boldly, you know? if you see him next, she be cool, as if nothing happened.See if he starts the topic and lissten to what he has to say and what he wants.Then you continue..
2006-10-30 12:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did enough. no asking why or what happened. if he broke up with you it's his issue to decide if he wants to work things out. trust me, don't "try" to get him back just let things be. if HE is worth it he will want to try again, of course YOU'RE worth it. let him see what he's missing and if it's meant to be it's meant to be. I can say this from recent personal experience.good luck
2006-10-30 12:45:17 · answer #8 · answered by nursepenny33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-03-03 13:54:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
:*( I had 9 months with my ex and 4 years of love why do I still love him :*( :*( Go for a walk or to dinner or just go do something fun!!!!
2006-10-30 12:43:22 · answer #10 · answered by Janey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋