This is a rather odd question, but, I am in love with this friend of mine. I have had very strong feelings for her since 8th grade. We are also really close friends, and the last thing I want to do is hurt our relationship. Also, take into consideration I'm of the same gender. It has been driving me nuts for 3 or 4 years now. I have told three friends about my feelings towards her, but it still feels like a monster on my conscience. I really want to tell her, but I am deathly afraid of what will happen. So if someone could offer kind words of wisdom?
2006-10-30 12:22:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your relationship with this girl is essentially dishonest, since you have feelings for her you choose not to share. If she doesn't return your feelings, you risk alienating her forever. At the very least, it will alter the way you relate to each other. Words once spoken cannot be taken back. The very best scenario, of course, is that she will hurl herself into your arms telling you how long she has dreamed of you saying this. The very worst is that she feels totally betrayed and will have nothing further to do with you. Is it worth the risk? I also wonder why you want to tell her now, specifically, since this has been "driving you nuts for three of four years". Keep your secret and keep your friend or tell all and risk all. You know her better than I. Do you feel lucky?
2006-10-30 12:35:16 · answer #1 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can tell her, and take a load off of your conscience, and probably lose a good friend. Or, you can keep your feelings to yourself, and continue to enjoy her for what she is to you, and what you are to her: a good friend.
Believe me, nothing good will come out of you revealing your true feelings towards her...you are probably hoping (deep down) that she will have similar feelings for you, and the relationship will take on a whole new direction that would please you to no end. However, the chances of that happening are pretty slim. Most likely, she will begin to feel more & more uncomfortable around you, and want to spend less & less time with you. Do you want to take that chance?
If you were both male, this would be even more likely to happen, but even if she did not feel threatened--as a guy might--it would most likely drive a wedge between the two of you, that may never be bridged...even though at first, she may feel flattered.
Go find yourself someone whose romantic feelings are mutual. By doing so, you will save yourself and your dear friend lots of pain.
2006-10-30 20:33:50 · answer #2 · answered by Howie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have feelings for her and that is the important thing here! Perhaps you should tell her how you feel before someone else does! Let her know that even if she can't feel the same way that you do you still want her for a friend! A secret like this would be difficult on anyone. Good Luck!
2006-10-30 20:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had this happen to me. A friend of mine, of which I had no idea that she was gay, revealed to me that she had feelings for me. We weren't good friends but we saw each other every day because we worked at the same place. I felt very uncomfortable around her after she revealed her feelings for me. Although we had agreed that this would not change anything in our relationship, after a few months it died. Don't tell her if you still want her to be your friend and if you don't want it to alter things in your friendship. Unless you think that she may be lesbian as well.
2006-10-30 20:29:24 · answer #4 · answered by dd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit telling other people of your feelings for someone else - that is very bad form, and at some point, your friend is going to hear it from someone else - such information should come from you. Either get over it or share it with your friend and work it out -you can't help how you feel, only how you act on those feelings.
2006-10-30 20:27:35 · answer #5 · answered by Curious1usa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet she already knows you have feelings for her. She obviously thinks a lot of you since you've known each other since 8th grade. I believe you and she should sit down and talk over your feelings.
2006-10-30 20:28:26 · answer #6 · answered by Juanitamarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya'll are really close friends, so just tell her honestly how you feel. let her know you are not pressuring her you just needed to clear our conscience. make sure you tell her you don't want to lose her as friend, if she doesn't feel the same way towards you. g'luck
2006-10-30 20:26:44 · answer #7 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll never be able to deal with it so long as it stays a secret.
2006-10-30 20:25:20 · answer #8 · answered by _Zith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it. Nothing worth while is ever easy.
Peace.
2006-10-30 20:25:40 · answer #9 · answered by IMHO 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to have life time of wondering WHAT IF then do nothing .
2006-10-30 20:28:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋