I moved here from Ireland to go to college here. I graduated in May and stayed for a bit because I had a great job. But about a month ago I told my friends that I was planning to move back in December. My friends were happy for me because they knew how much I loved it back in Ireland. But my best friend was very upset when I told him. We spend a lot of time together but I have always thought of him as kind of my brother. About one three days ago he asked me not to go to stay with him. He told me that he was holding out for me, hoping that we might start dating. He was acting very strange when he asked me to stay. He wouldn’t look at me in the face. He has always been very affectionate towards me. He is an artist and once created a series of different paintings of me. I just thought it was because he viewed me as like a sister. I really miss Ireland but I don’t want to do that to him. What do I do?
2006-10-30 11:54:19 · 27 answers · asked by Caligirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He sounds like he has been pretty patient. I would go for a bit to see how you felt with out him. If you feel miserable without him around go back to him. If you feel like you're OK then don't go back to him. I think if you get away from him for a bit it might help you sort out your feelings for him. but from the way you described it it sound like he is head over heels for you.
2006-10-31 07:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what is best for you and your heart. If this is the man that you can see yourself with and you want to stay to be with him then stay and see how the relationship goes and if it does not workout, you can move to Ireland. If your heart is really wanting to go to Ireland now, then go where your heart is telling you to go. I would go on a few dates with him before you make a permanent decision!
2006-10-30 20:06:53 · answer #2 · answered by Michael C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not doing anything TO him. You are following what you want to do. If you want to stay because of your feelings towards him (and frankly, they sound more platonic than passionate) then you do. If you want to return to Ireland, you should go. If he has made you feel like you are "doing" something to him by leaving it is emotional blackmail. If you thought this up on your own, you need to do some reading on co-dependency. I wish you the best in Ireland.
2006-10-30 20:00:48 · answer #3 · answered by Caper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like the poor guys been holding out for you for a long time. he may have always seen you as a sister or something like that, but now that youre talking of leaving, he sees other feelings for you and doesnt want you to go. i think you should listen to the first thing your heart tells you to do. if you go, you can always come back, and he can visit you, im sure. if you stay, you can always head back home later. either way, listen to the first thing that comes to you. that first reaction instinct is almost always the right one, in the end.
2006-10-30 20:04:20 · answer #4 · answered by potato head 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you always have to follow your heart...disappoint him or disappoint yourself...you choose! you cant put your life on hold for this person unless you truly feel he is worth it...if there is no love between the 2 of you then continue doing things the way you planned he can always call and visit you...yes you may feel bad for a minute or two but both of you will get past the hurt of you leaving in a short matter of time
2006-10-30 20:01:16 · answer #5 · answered by ELIZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can see yourself dating him, then maybe you should give it a chance from now until december... see if there is chemistry and potential for a future between you. then when december comes, make the decision... maybe he could go home with you for a visit and see where you came from.... then you might be ready to come back here.
just make sure you guys know that if it doesn't work out you will still be friends after, it would really suck to not be able to maintain a frienship after all of that.
good luck
â¥
2006-10-30 19:58:51 · answer #6 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have to sit and think about how you feel about him and if you dont feel that you want to spend the rest of your life here then go back to Ireland. Explain to him that you care about him but it is not that you dont care you have an obligation to go back home, or you are compelled to go home and if he would like to visit you there he can.
2006-10-30 20:01:07 · answer #7 · answered by postal_marg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like a nice patient guy if there is any feeling from you that may be romantic toward him you should stay or take him with you. But if he is just a friend in your eyes you need to set him strait it will only hurt him more later if you dont.
2006-10-30 19:59:24 · answer #8 · answered by shawn_mauldin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stay for a bit. See if ur relationship goes anywhere. If it doesnt, i would go, but still stay close friends. I also think you should visit him and ur friends once in a while if u leave. Keep in touch with them and see how things are goin.
2006-10-30 20:03:39 · answer #9 · answered by Snowboarder91 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what makes you happy. Listen to your heart and go from there. No one can tell you what you have to do, but you. He may be not be happy if you leave, but he will get over it. If he is a friend, he will understand in the end.
2006-10-30 19:56:44 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋