I have a problem and I feel very guilty! Please help!?

Question

I have had my cat for almost 8 years. We had him fixed when he was just a kitten..about 9 months old...and over the years he has turned into a hateful evil animal. I have tried to deal with this but it really got bad when my daughter was born. My husband hates the cat because of his attitude but he has dealt with it for me. Now it is gottne to be too much. He hisses and growls and strikes at you for absolutly no reason whatsoever and tonight he was mad so he went into the hallway and peed all over the floor and underneath the washer and dryer. I am scared that he is going to hurt my daughter one day for no reason and I think the time has finally come to get him out of here. I feel totally awful about it because I have had him for so long but I don't know what else to do. He is so mean and I don't even know why. He uses the bathroom on the floor and I just don't know what else to do. Do you think getting rid of him is the right thing to do? Serious answers please...thanks!

Answer 1

It sounds like your family has become trapped in a vicious cycle with your cat. If you hate a cat, you're going to show it in your behavior toward the cat and cats retaliate. You might also have him checked by the vet, tell the vet your problem and see if what the vet's recommendations are. Its possible that the cat has problems which are causing his behaviors. For instance, one cat I once saw that had a nasty temperament, changed totally into a sweet animal when broken abscessed teeth in its mouth were removed and the infection cleared up.

The only truly vicious cat I ever saw, that attacked without provocation and whose behavior couldn't be modified, out of thousands of cats I've handled, was one that had a brain tumor.

Hissing is a fear reaction, not aggression, and an animal that is fearful will also growl and urinate and defecate in its fright.

The first step is to take the cat to the vet, explain the problem and ask the vet to look for medical causes of the behavior. You may also want to keep the cat in a cat cage until his problems are solved. If medical attention doesn't find a cause, then the next step would be to ask the vet if there are any animal behavior experts in the area. Often vet colleges have behaviorists (Purdue for instance, does animal behavior research).

If all else fails, you might try to find a placement for the cat. When I lived on a farm, way back off the road, I maintained a number of barn cats who were vaccinated, spayed and neutered and released in my barn because they weren't adoptable. The cats were kept well fed and the place was far back off the road enough that there was little danger of them getting out on the road and being hit, and those cats happily lived out their lives as barn cats. If he's always been an indoor cat, he may not adjust to outdoor living and it also may be hard to find a home for him with his problems. Few people have the willingness or experience to take on and work with animals with those kinds of behavior problems.

Instead of euthanasia though, depending on the vets medical verdict of course (in other words, if the vet doesn't find cancer or brain tumor or other medical reason to recommend euthanasia), you may want to get a big cat cage and let the cat live in it. Cats adjust and are happy living in big cages. Most show catteries keep their cats caged in big long cages and the cats do fine being kept that way.

Answer 2

Some cats have bad personalities! If you have done nothing other thanneuter him, then you have done nothing wrong. I have a male cat that I declawed before I knew how horrible it was. He's turned into a biter and can be rather mean, but I know this is my fault for declawing him and I keep him because it is my fault. A few years ago I had adopted a 6 month old kitten from the shelter and he was neutered. His temperment changed for no reason and he attacked my god daughter while she slept. That cat went back to the shelter faster than I knew what happened and had to be put down. I felt bad, but I had to think about Mandy first

I would try to find a home for this cat. Is he mean just to you or to everyone? My biter just bites me. You need to think about your daughter first. If she is a really young child, chances are at some point, she'll pull his tail or make him angry. Don't wait until that time. Try to find him a home in the country where maybe he can have a nice barn to live in. Don't take him to the shelter though, they'll put him to sleep, as he is unadoptable. Get you a purebred cat. They are far less temmpermental. The cat sees your daughter as an intrusion in his house.

Don't feel bad, but do get that cat away from your little girl as soon as possible. Cat bites are quite nasty and scratches leave life long scars. Get a loving kitten and neuter it before it is 12 weeks. Also, laser surgery is best to reduce pain. Think about what is cut off when a cat is neutered, you'd be mad too if you were a male cat!

Answer 3

First talk to the vet and see if there is anything medical that might be triggering this. Try to think of any unusual stresses that may have brought on the striking behavior. And a new baby IS a stressor (joyous, but still a stress!) Sounds like a long term problem and it's exacerbated by the baby in the house. Some cats are territorial and jealous enough that they just can't adapt to any competition from human or animal. Ask the vet for a referral to a behaviorist if you can afford it.
Find him a good home with no kids, and enjoy your daughter. Your daughter takes priority regardless of how much the cat has been your pal over the last 8 yrs. He deserves a chance in a new home, you deserve some peace! Good luck and you have my prayers!

Answer 4

First of All I'm so sorry that u have to deal with this. A counseler would be a good idea or even talking to a close friend. The best would be to throw away any scales u have. Buy healthy food so there's no reason to feel guilty about what u are eating. And also eat the food. Good luck I hope u can stop feeling guilty and start enjoying things.

Answer 5

I think you do have the responsibility of having the vet check the cat out thoroughly. Inappropriate urination can be caused by an infection or a urine pH that is too alkaline. If these things are going on there are antibiotics and special food to correct the situation.

Then you can release him to a shelter or another home with good conscience as you will have done the right thing by him. Cats who are ill may become nasty because of pain or just feeling punk all the time. I hope he can get better and be a better pet for your home.

Answer 6

I have three cats all of which have been spayed or neutered. None of them have behavior problems. Bad behaviors are present because they have been reinforced somehow. It's actually called negative reinforcement - the presentation of a negative stimulus ( your yelling at him when he hisses) reinforces his hissing behavior because it is attention. The cat needs attention when he is doing what you want. For example, give him a treat when he lets you touch him without hissing. And do not respond when he hisses/growls/strikes. Does he have claws? If not, don't worry about your daughter unless he bites. You have to remember that animals don't understand speech, and respond based on instinct. They aren't "wrong" for what they do. If you have to, find another home for him or find a "no-kill" shelter if you feel guilty giving him up. And for pity's sake, don't have him put to sleep. He didn't ask to turn out the way he did. It is what he has learned.

Answer 7

I had the same problem with a dog that was given to me when I was about 25. When I got married this allready hyperactive dog got completley jealous and chewed up my husbands credit cards. I gave him one week after that, his behavior didn't improve, and I had him put to sleep. That might seem cruel, but sending hime to the Pound would have been worse, and this dog was creating serious cracks in my VIP relationship. If I had sent him to the pound he probably would never have been adopted because of the problems I had with him. At least this way I got to be with him. Anyway, the point I'm getting to is: if you just can't live with the cat anymore, try giving him to a friend. maybe this behavior will dissapiate over time in a household where the cat doesn't have to compete for attention. If that's not an option, just out him to sleep. No one at the Pound wants a animal with a disorder.

Answer 8

1) Has he been to the vet recently? Maybe a urinary tract i nfection or any number of things disease related. Have you ever thought of having the vet perscribe Buspar? I had a cat on that stuff for awhile ( she was acting insane) She stayed on it for a good while and now she is as good or better than new. Are there other cats in the House? Yep, without vet advice on the source of the problem I wouldn't trust him either. I wouldn't toss him out, I wouldn't give him up....Who needs a special needs cat? I would rather euthanize him......I know I know how heartless that sounds but it is a great source of relief for a sick cat, or one who may have had a problem early on with the anesthetic. Or whatever the problem is. Good luck

Answer 9

Yours in not an uncommon problem. It's your choice, if you fear for your childs' safetly obvioiusly find him a new home. He's peeing in the house because he wants you to know he's there, he's jealous of your daughter. As far as his nasty behavior, when did it start? Think back. Maybe he wasn't getting enough attention, or was left alone alot. Cats 'speak' to us in the only way they know how. They say notice me with their bad behavior. But seriously, you may want to consider finding him a home, but be honest to the new owner about his behavior. I hope you don't resort to taking him to a shelter, because he won't be adopted. Even though it may be a 'no kill' shelter, they send them away for that. I am totally against taking a problem animal to the shelter. Work with him, figure out why he is behaving that way. Cats especially are very jealous. Good Luck, keep us posted.

Answer 10

It sounds as if your cat is a serious threat to your daughter and possibly even to you and your husband. I love animals as much as the next person but your daughter's safety has to take precedence over the cat. I would talk to your vet and if he/she can't help, try to find another home for your cat.

I'm very sorry to hear about your dilemma and I wish you the best of luck!