my boyfriend and I have been going out now for about 5 months going on 6 I love him with all my heart but we fight all the time, he always wants to be right and will fight hard to get his point across, he shouts at me and hurts me and tries to control me a lot. however we are really close a lot of the time, swearing our love for each other and he buys me lots of presents and says and does a lot of sweet things.
i want to move in to a house alone with this guy and marry him one day but my hearts much further ahead than his. he's not ready for anything like that yet. He still has feelings for his ex and also his friends are more importaint and special to him than i am.
should i stay by him, love, support nd help him? or should I pull away now before my heart gets broken and I get left alone?
2006-10-30 11:17:55 · 28 answers · asked by dark pixie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that you need to sort out the fighting before you think of moving forward, it sounds like he buys you presents as he feels guilty for arguing with you.
He also needs to get over his ex as the last thing you want is for you to move in together and get married whilst he still has feelings for his ex.
But if you truly love each other, you will find a way to get through all of the problems.
Hope all goes well for you.
2006-10-30 11:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by Matt 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Would you like to be in a lifetime of hurt and hard fights?
There are already signs of emotional (perhaps physical too?) abuse. It will not change. Please leave him while you can. I have seen a lot of situations where the abused partner is scared in leaving the relationship because she was trained to fear her abuser. That is a very sad life.
We gave you our points of view. It is up to you to stay because you care about him (even though you are less important to him than his friends). The gifts and the "sweetness", do these things appear after the fight? That is his lure for you to stay in the situation. That is manipulative behavior. Real love is respect for the other person, all the time. You are young, there is a better future ahead. Please be brave, and move on.The decision is always yours.
Just remember, you are warned by a lot of people against this situation.
2006-10-30 19:29:46 · answer #2 · answered by tranquil 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he tries to control you then moving in will only get worse. You will spend many nights alone while he is out with friends or his ex. You should NOT move in. Not sure about high tailing it but probably won't get better. He isn't ready for a serious relationship with a loving gf. You would probably be better off with a man who is loving back. Fighting after 5 or 6 mo's isn't good either!
2006-10-30 19:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by sixfoot8bkr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN and dont stop until you are free of him, you say he hurts you and tries to control you and he still has feelings for his ex,
wake up girl, you deserve more than that, you were not put on this earth to be a doormat or some ones punch bag,
all abusers buy presents and do sweet things and say they are sorry after they have hurt you and promise never to do it again,TILL THE NEXT TIME, and there always is a next time.
so get out while you still can,PLEASE do not be a victim or another statistic, there is some one out there who will love you for who you are and will treat you right, you have just not found him yet.
it may not be easy at first but it will get easier and soon you will know that you were right to get away.
good luck in whatever you decide and i wish you well for your future.
2006-10-30 19:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by mythmagicdragon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't rush into anything because it sounds like he may have some unresolved issues, like with his ex. He can't move on with you if he still has feelings for her in any way. I'm not sure what you mean by he hurts you, but as far as the controlling part, that doesn't sound good. If he really loves you then he should trust that you make decisions based on what is best for you. If this is true love, then it will always be. If it is not, then you saved yourself the mistake and heartache of moving in with him.
2006-10-30 19:32:41 · answer #5 · answered by jenny p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart ... it's really only been 6 MONTHS ... it's not like it's been 6 yrs. I'd suggest you slow down a bit and evaluate whether you truly love him or not. There's time for him to grow up and be more mature and committed to a relationship. So, I'd say if you're happy, then just stick around for a bit longer. Then, couple years down the line, evaluate again whether he's changed or not. I must warn you though, your bf seems like abusing type. How does he hurt you? ... he shouldn't hurt you at all both mentally or physically.
Good luck!
2006-10-30 19:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by Nicegal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN!
Run as fast as your legs will carry you. Shouting, hurting, and controlling are all bad things, not loving sweet things. Look at it this way. If things never changed between you two for the rest of your life, would you be happy? If the answer is no, run baby run!
2006-10-30 19:22:41 · answer #7 · answered by princessPixie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run girl. You said he yells at you, hurts you and controls you - not the basis of a stable or fun relationship. These are also signs of emotional abuse that can very quickly turn into physical abuse. Stay with him if there are more pros than cons... but it sounds pretty up and down with him. If he makes you feel bad more than he makes you feel good, then run!
2006-10-30 19:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by shortcake 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run as fast as your feet will carry you.It will never work out,abusive men need to be dumped.I was with an abusive man for years,they always say they are sorry,that they love you.Total rubbish.A leopard never changes it spots.Move on and leave this creep behind.You deserve better.Can you imagine a future with him seriously?Imagine if you fell pregnant,then your kids would be watching mamma getting knocked around.Leave him.Presents are empty gestures and mean nothing.Don't waste your life.
2006-10-30 19:57:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear girl you deserve better than this. You think you can change him a leopard never changes his spots. Don't let your heart rule your head. Your happiness is important too you know.
Does he support you. Never stay just to help him. He has to learn not to manipulate for a start.
Broken heart, yes that will surely come if you stay.
Be brave, someone will come along who will love you for the way you are... it finally happened to me.... I learnt the hard way.
2006-10-30 19:29:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋