my first b/f just broke up with me not too long ago and i'm trying to get over it. i have cried,i have gotten angry, and i've been confused! so i still think about him even though i try not to and i really miss hearing from him and talking to him. and i do not feel that he gave our relationship a fair chance. he said he broke it off becuase he didn't think it would ever turn into a permanent relationship and it was not fair to me for him to string me along until i thought it would be a permanent thing. and then if he were to break it off it would have hurt me really badly. so it was more fair to end it now. but i don't think so i think he should have told me how he felt and we should have discussed it together and he should have let me decide if i was willing to chance getting hurt or not. what do you think about this situation? and any tips or advice would be helpful. please only serious answers and yes i'm an adult!
2006-10-30 10:21:13 · 15 answers · asked by Babygirl20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
TIME !! Be patient with yourself. Time does heal all wounds. If it's an inward wound, it may take a little longer.
While your waiting for the completion of that healing process that comes in time, you may want to make a list of your ideal man.
One who respects you at all times. One who is very, very Patient with you, as well as very Kind. One who is very gentle with his words toward you; who is always willing to forgive - letting go of all resentments(thus is able to forget). One who always praises you even in front of his guy friends. One who chooses you over his own personal needs and desires.
One who always is attentive to you, is always a ready listener;who is not jealous of you and your relationship with your friends and family.
One who does not only want sex from you. One who will Always think the world of you, worshipping the ground you walk on!! One who always thinks the best of you. One who loves and accepts you the way you are, not expecting you to change for him! One who always respects your thoughts, ideals, goals, and aspirations. One who gives you a little space when you need it, to regather yourself say after a fight. One who is Selfless; he would treat you as his #1 always. He would not be selfish. He'd be willing to swallow his pride even if he were right, to say I'm sorry, please forgive me, - just to have a restored loving peaceful relationship. One who is strong enough to endure through the tough times that every relationship has, in order to stay with you. Attraction & sex is but a small part of Love. We, as adults realize this.
Give it time. Time heals all wounds. And do your best as a mature adult not to hold unforgiveness, or ill-feelings with resentment toward him. True love toward someone always forgives, letting go of all resentment and anger toward another. This is the Way Lovingkindess IS !! In a secure, stable relationship, the two individuals always make decisions together with respect. If one does not show this respect, it is a sign of immaturity and selfishness.
Enjoy the friendships you have with others, and enjoy the quiet time (that should be ever so cherished) that you have with yourself.
You are a very beautiful, intelligent, unique, and special individual that should Not beat yourself up over the head, feeling like you have failed in the relationship.
Give it time. Forgive yourself if you know it's necessary, releasing yourself from all guilt and shame. And show love and acceptance for yourself. You are The Best!! Be kind to yourself.
"LOVE YOURSELF !!"
2006-10-30 10:52:57 · answer #1 · answered by Thomas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling! Of course you wanted the relationship to work. To make it work you need 2 people that want to help it survive. Obviously, there was something in him that just didn't think it could happen. Your right, he should have told you his feelings, but not everyone is as considerate. It's not what he should "have" at this point but what he "actually" did. It's going to hurt much! Have time just to think, have your space, and try to cope. But do not go over and over again on what should have happened or why it did happen or you will go crazy. Talk to a good friend, someone you can trust. Accept the fact it's over and cherish the good things over the negative. But take it very slow.
I've been there, and i'm an adult as well. You can always ask me any suggestions.
2006-10-30 18:29:01 · answer #2 · answered by Professor Bradley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually I think that he did the right thing. There is no point to carry on a relationship if one side knows that it will not be permanent. I think that he did the right thing and it sounds like he was honest about why he broke up. He prolly doesn't want to deal with the drama that would come if yous had stayed together longer and had issues together. And as for tips on getting over your first love? Thats a toughy. I've heard that you will never forget it and I find it to be true b/c I still always think of mine and its been two years now.
2006-10-30 18:27:07 · answer #3 · answered by bartathalon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is very sad to hear and I feel for you. My ex g/f and I were together for about 3 years, and then broke up due to many different things. I didn't know what to do since she was my first love, and it took me a while to get over it. But I got involved with different activities and kept my mind focused on God who sought me out and lifted me from the pain I was in. So God is truly the answer.
2006-10-30 18:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Light Bringer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you wont get over it... you never get over your first any thing... but you will move on start dating again maybe you will find your second, and final love(but good luck). But for now avoid him, get rid of things that remind you of him that way nothing provokes you to think about it and take up a new hobby to occupy your time till the next Mr. rite comes
2006-10-30 18:28:17 · answer #5 · answered by Every1's Fav. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will hurt for a while, but not forever.................and then you meet someone new! Once you have feelings for someone else, you'll realize that he was not the "one and only" like you thought he was. Trust me, it will be ok. Just keep your eyes on the future and understand that God has someone else in store for you, you just have to trust him that he'll come along when it is the right time.
2006-10-30 18:23:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is you will never get the answers to your questions. No matter how you feel he should of dealt with the relationship he did what he did and you have to stop with the whys and what ifs. Time, time time heals all wounds.
2006-10-30 18:26:21 · answer #7 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No doubt,
I feel your pain I really identify with you and yes it is going to hurt you have to find strength and eventually after a while you will be thank full that he didn't lead you into years of a meaningless relationship.
Be strong..
2006-10-30 18:25:54 · answer #8 · answered by shawn_mauldin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never get over a first love,because it was first. you were scared, nervous, excited ,happy,from the first,then you will look back with fondness and affection over your first and amazed.The best way is to have a second love and build on all you've learned and experienced .
2006-10-30 18:25:25 · answer #9 · answered by Samuel B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to get over it. You need to move on, hold only the good things of all relationships. You move on by accepting that it wasn't the best thing for you.
2006-10-30 18:27:40 · answer #10 · answered by kasar777 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋