I'm agnostic and in love with a Christian. How can I make it work?

Question

She is bothered by my beliefs. Is there anything I can do to convince a christian that I live a good life and will see her in heaven?

Answer 1

lol. I was in your same spot. the answer is no. Living a "good life" will not get you into heaven. The Bible is clear on this, you can only get to heave but beleving in Jesus as the son of God. Yes you can trick her for some time, but then you are building on a lie. You should read a book call "Case for Christ" by Lee Strole. http://www.leestrobel.com/

Answer 2

If she has strong beliefs about a certain issue, like whether or not you will be together after this life if you are not a Christian, then you probably don't want to try and change those beliefs. Likewise, if she is really bothered, and she can't make religion something your relations ISN'T based on, then you should back out now. I am married to someone whom I often call an agnostic and I am very religious. In fact, she thinks my religious beliefs are completely insane, made up, creepy, whatever you can think. However, when we met and were dating religion was something we agreed we don't have in common, but that we have many other things in common. As long as we respect what each other believes, and don't treat them poorly or differently because of those beliefs, then it can work. So, bottom line, if the mutual respect is there it could work, but you'd better be sure or it will make for difficult times. Good luck.

Answer 3

Not sure you can. If she is unable to see what kind of person you are, with or without the label of 'christian,' then you may have an insurmountable problem.

Religions are all about 'right' and 'wrong', as delineated by the doctrine of each sect. In other words, you are 'wrong' if you don't abide by the doctrine of her sect. She either has to reject the doctrine of her particular group enough to accept that your beliefs have validity, or she has to reject you.

You can always accept her beliefs as your own, for the sake of a life together, but that has a way of coming back to haunt you, particularly if you have children.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Well don’t pretend to agree with her beliefs if you don’t That’s very insulting.

Treat her views with respect as I hope she does yours.

Be honest with her. If you think the relationship could become serous and you don’t think you’re likely to change your views, you need to make sure she understands this. You would be wrong to let her think she might be able to change you, if you don’t really believe that’s likely.

In other words, even if you can’t share beliefs, for your relationship to have any hope of success, you had better share honesty. If you are both firm in your beliefs and you are thinking you can change the other, you are asking for problems down the road.

Just be completely honest and then figure out together if this has a chance of working.

The only way I think it can work is with a great deal of respect for each other’s beliefs and complete honesty.

Something more to think about. If this should become serous and you marry and have children, she has the right to raise the children within her religion. You will need to be sure you are ok with that.

Answer 5

Truly trippy question and following comment. If you are agnostic, how can you tell your fiance that you will see her in heaven. gee whiz, if you believe in heaven, you would have to believe in God too. just find this nonsense.
Answer to the question tho is if she is a true christian, it wont work. Because God tells Christians to not marry a non believer. Its very clear. straight up there. So, if she marries you, she isnt really a christian, and you could maybe make a go of it. But, it is NOT a relationship to be blessed by GOd. To have the blessings of God, we must be His loyal, obedient followers. all the scripture it tells us that blessings come from obedience, and curse comes from disobedience. think on that one. So, a true Christian girl would no consider marrying an agnostic. I simply will pray about this and leave it to God. Even as an agnostic or athiest, you may have a fairly good life here on earth. But so what? You lose it all to go to hell. God gives us all free choice. We either choose Him and heaven, or its hell. He tells us this. God never rejects anyone. It is we who reject God by not choosing Him. He gave us life, had His son die for us, and yet so many reject Him, despise Him. Dont listen to the lies of the world. Study for yourself with this Christian girl,, and find out what is truly real. People say well you cant see God, well you cant see the big bang either. We cant see the wind but its still there. But, we can feel the wind and we can feel the presence of God if we will only allow Him to come in. I pray for you to search truth and find it, and then marry this girl, and be blessed by God. Dont be afraid of giving things up for God. He wont ask you to give up anything good. only things that will hurt you or someone else. This is why heaven will be perfect. God says no more sickness, no more tears. there wont be any nonbelievers in Heaven, bringing their STUFF on everyone else. Imagine a world with no rape, murder, lying, stealing, none of it. No porn, no violence, only love. Boy, I would sure want to know this for sure, before I do a final rejection of God and convince Him I think this whole thing is a big laughing matter. What if you are wrong. When you see someone dying, and after a prayer, being suddenlyhealed, then you tell me that there is NO GOD. I will pray.

Answer 6

You may not be able to get your lady to accept your beliefs without having her feel like she's compromised her own beliefs. If you were to decide to get married, you would have to plan a ceremony and you would both have to agree to how your union is to be sanctified. I think it is a matter of one of you converting to the other's belief system or reaching a middle ground. It can be done if your love is very strong, but beliefs and relationships both require a lot of commitment and what you do has to be done without creating resentment or regret later.
I don't make this recommendation often and I don't mean for you to take it lightly, but if you really love this girl and you want to marry her, you might consider being a bit of a Christian. Just make sure you're the nice kind.

Answer 7

If she loves you she will respect your beliefs. If she knows you she will know what kind of person you are regardless of religion. It takes two to want to make a relationship work though. I believe that relationships between people of different faiths can work. My grandfather was Irish Catholic and my grandmother was Irish protestant. They both believed that other was dead wrong and maybe going to Hell. They loved each other so much that it really didn't matter, my grandfather's family even stopped speaking to him for a year after they married. The only thing that I ever heard them fight about was religion but that wasn't very often and they had a great marriage. If she doesn't want to make it work there isin't much you can do though (other than fake belief, which I think would be the wrong way to go) and I would submit you will find someone better for you if this is the case.

Answer 8

That you live a good life? Maybe.

That you'll see her in heaven? Doubtful. Do agnostics even believe in heaven? Particularly the Christian view of it?

If you can BOTH be respectful of each others' beliefs and not go around trying to CHANGE each other, then yes, it can work.

If the relationship is going to be filled with "my beliefs are right" "no, MY beliefs are right" then you're doomed, IMHO.

Answer 9

Oh I hate that. I'm Atheist and all guys I've had relationships with were Christian. Try to make it a non-issue, if you can. Don't talk about it like it's important, and try to make her see that if there is a Creator, it would let people into heaven according to the kind of lives they lived. Maybe she doesn't like your religion because she thinks that a lack of belief = a lack of morals. So, prove her wrong.

Best luck.

Answer 10

You won't see her in heaven unless you believe. That is what Christians believe and she does as well. So it makes her sad to think that you don't believe. I truly think it will be hard to make it work because she is always going to be concerned and it doesn't seem you are open to becoming a Christian.