anxiety from physical touch?

Question

Whenever someone touches me, I feel uncomfortable. It is true for both men and women, though I definately feel less threatened around women. I avoid touch without thinking. I feel programmed to stay 2 feet away from everyone.

I believe the cause for this is an abusive childhood. My older siblings and I were physically beaten. One of my siblings was molested. I know that watching this was extremely trumatizing. Still, I feel like I'm pretty smart and that I've managed to overcome a lot of obsticles in my life.

How can I cure myself of these anxiety attacks from something as simple as human touch? I shouldn't have to keep the world 2 feet away. I shouldn't panic when someone bumps into me. I shouldn't feel uncomfortable when I kiss the girl I love.

HELP.

Answer 1

Takes time and effort. I'm so sorry for your pain. Check out www.donaldepstein.com. I've been going to one of these doctors for a while and it's helped my life in every aspect, particularly the ones you mention.

Also check out The Relaxation Response by Herbert Benson.

Answer 2

I don't mean to sound demeaning in any way, but therapy. You need to work yourself up to touching another person. Its called exposure therapy, but must be done safely and at your own pace! Sometimes getting forced into an uncomfortable situation for you can set you back in progress. I do believe all of this stems from the abuse you and your siblings received. It takes time, patience and hope to recover. I recommend you see a few different therapists until you find one you are comfortable with and understands your issues very well. Work with them, think of touching someone, and then realize you are safe, and have no need to touch anyone at that point. Look at pictures of people touching...then remember you are safe, and are not touching anyone. Then work up to having someone touch you with the tip of your finger , say on your hand. You can go wash your hand directly after, and also work up to longer periods of finger to hand. 5 seconds....10 seconds....and if you get uncomfortable you can always say "Too much" or have a safe word...so people know that they need to remove their finger and you can feel safe again. I wish you all the best. Love, light, happiness, help, health, and HOPE. Truly, Jenn S
PS You also might want to look into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is very treatable and sounds like you have some symptoms of that.

Answer 3

I know how you feel. My Family of Origin was extremely abusive and i suffered from PTSD for many years. I used drugs and alcohol to be able to have contact with people. (I still couldn't develop meaningful relationships, but that never seemed necessary until recently.) Then I experienced the many consequences of chemical addiction, and had to get sober. It was that process that (almost) cured me.

Today I have moments, but they are not nearly as scary as they used to be, because I have a God in my life who will always provide for me. He can see me through anything.

There are 12-step groups for survivers. I highly recommend Al-Anon, which is for family members of alcoholics/addicts. Abusers usually are. They've helped me a great deal, too.