I'm almost 27. And have 3 beautiful children. I had my 1st when i was 17- my 3rd by the time i was 21.
When i was still 21 i decided that was it i want no more - but the pill had failed me, plus i worried about the long-term effects it has on the body. And the contraceptive injection made me have a period for the whole time i was on it. So i decided to get sterilized. And i did even tho i was only young.
But now- even tho i haven't changed my mind on having more kids(yet) i have been thinkin about it alot. I'm not with my kids dad, but i am in a good, stable loving relationship with a man i adore. But he has no kids(hes 27). We have discussed it many times and he says he is ok with not having kids. But i keep thinkin i could be robbing him of one of lifes great expeirences. And if we do stay 2gether i'm worried he might resent me when he's an old man.
2006-10-30 09:16:40 · 7 answers · asked by Ami 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I guess 27 was quite young to have a sterilization - but you did so because of what seemed like perfectly good reasons at the time.
If now, you are not quite so sure, then I am guessing you could choose to explore the possibilities for reversal if and when you felt the time was right for you.
I do hear what you say about your partner saying he is "ok" with not having kids. It isn't quite the same as "great, I don't want them either" is it?
What would you LIKE to happen if you could "wave a wand" - and then, how close might you be able to get to that position if you really wanted to?
2006-10-30 09:25:27 · answer #1 · answered by Mark T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I made the same decision quite hastily as well. I had 2 kids by 24 and knew that I didn't want to raise any more kids in the US. Now I am with a Canadian girl and have recently been wrestling with the same question she also has no kids and we are in our 30's I feel bad that I made such a potentially final decision so young but in my case she is not showing much interest in kids. I have however avoided relationships since divorcing the kids' mother because of the fact that I knew that those women may not be satisfied as they aged with never having had kids. What could possibly happen at that point? Either she would be mad at me for making the decision to be with me or she would leave so she could have kids..... either way I have not been interested in building relations for a few years and then losing the relationship to this issue. Besides, I don't think it would be right of me to ask a woman not to have kids for my sake..... that may be a lil different for a guy, I don't really know.
2006-10-30 09:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did what was best for you at the time. If he says he's fine, then leave it at that. Don't you dare go changing your mind because you "think" he may be the one...look what got you into this childbearing situation in the first place- and you're not even with him anymore.
Let your relationship run it's course. If a suitable time passes and you feel you want to STAY WITH HIM and he feels the same way, then by all means...discuss it. Otherwise, stick to being sterile.
2006-10-30 09:21:58 · answer #3 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation that you are. Although I did not choose to be sterilized I still am...I married a wonderful man with no children and knowing that I couldn't have any, we are fostering to adopt! We have a 4 year old in the house now that we are hoping to get the chance, he isn't leagally free yet, but the proceddings have started...wish us luck we go to court on Wednesday to start this whole process.
2006-10-30 09:21:50 · answer #4 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it few years. Sperm doesn't expire;-) If in a few years, you are still together and in a good place financially, talk about getting a reversal. It will probably be painful and expensive, but all kids are!-)
I suppose you could adopt as well. My aunt met the love of her life in her 40's after a hystorectomy. They adopted a charming little girl from Russia and she is so happy to have a loving mommy and daddy.
2006-10-30 09:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by Terrible Threes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is too early it would only be reasonable for you to get sterilized if your 27 and have 8 kids LOL yes i think its too hasty your young and the man you adore and love wont be robbed if he adopts your kids......he can be with them and bond but if there is a way to reverse tube tying then reverse!!
2006-10-30 13:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is okay with not having anymore kids then trust him. Maybe he feels complete with yours. If your only reason to have a child with him is for him, then it isn't a very good reason. You got sterilized for reasons that you thought were important. Enjoy what you have now.
2006-10-30 10:02:04 · answer #7 · answered by sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋