OK please read all of the information.
1)when he first got there he pined her down and kissed her
2)she had a girl friend at the apt.
3)they guy got naked and go into her bed
4)later she got into the bed thinking he was passed out (supposibly)
5)He aparently already had a condom on then go on top of her and took her clothes off
6)She told me that she said no 3 times to him, but did not do anytyhing else besides that
7)After she put her clothes on and told him she felt sick, he wanted to **** again
8)she sounded normal on teh phone this morning
9)she didnt call the police, but text messaged a friend who showed up after the guy left
Would you take her back? is she being honest by these facts??
2006-10-30 08:49:18 · 39 answers · asked by john 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
10)she didnt scream and her friend didnt know what had happend till she told her
2006-10-30 08:49:50 · update #1
her life was not at stake, the guy did not hit her in any way
2006-10-30 08:56:44 · update #2
Eric, youre not going to like this, but she got into the bed with him, knowing he was naked and he had already "pinned her down and kissed her." I am not saying she was not raped. I am saying she used some very bad and very questionable judgement. No you should not take her back. The reasons are: 1) She did not try to get the heck out of there when this guy was kissing her against her will, she continued to stay in the apt. 2) She did not try to get her roommate to help her out of a bad situation. 3) She got into the bed with a man who had allegedly kissed her against her will and continued to stay in the apt with him. 4) She did not try to get help. Too many things do not make any sense. I can almost guarantee that she is not being fully truthful with you. Here is what probably happened. 1) She kissed the guy 2) She got in bed with him and may or may not have started having second thoughts. 3) She did it more than once with him and was afraid you were going to find out so she texts her friend to cover her az and 4)She did not go to the police like she should have if she were raped. She may have said no, but it was too late. I've heard it too many times, bud. This girl is not being honest with you. She just doesn't want to lose what she had.
2006-10-30 08:59:48 · answer #1 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
By definition and the law it is rape but the story seems fishy. After she had trouble with this guy she didn't know he went to her room. She then got into bed with him nake thinking he was "passed" out. Another girl is in the apartment and she didn't scream, but only said no three times, she put her clothes on and still was talking to him. How did he get her clothes off? Why didn't she call the police? These facts seem too far fetched. Keep track of her story and present these new questions. If the story constiently changes chances are she is lying. That would mean she cheated on you and lied! Rape is a very serious thing and something must be done. Maybe call the police yourself and be present when she discribes to the offier what happened. If she lies to the police she will be sentanced for false report. If she tells the truth she was not raped to the officer you know the truth and if she really was raped you got the process going and will be supportive for her.
2006-10-30 08:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the Police and tell them the story. We can't investigate this for you. If she thinks she was raped or assaulted. It's a serious accusation. If she lied. She should be charged. There is such a thing as physical evidence; bruise marks,scraches on the face,hands,back,neck,chest. If there was no physical evidence of a struggle.Then there was no rape-assault. Use your head dude. Call the Police and tell them. But,don't tell her inadvance. It's better that she is confronted by the Police without having a chance to create fake evidence on her body. I would not take her back if she was lying. I wasn't there so how can I know if she is. Let's say she was pinned on her back and he was too strong for her. She couldn't use her legs or her arms to fight back. She would have used her teeth. Because, it's a life and death kind of situation right ? If he was on top of her. They would of been very close together. So that she could of bitten him on the face,neck,shoulders and this would leave a bite mark or two. That's not always a 100% sign of a struggle. Some people like biting each other whle having sex. You know like those S&M types. But,bruises are a good sign. The part about him getting on top of her and taking her clothes off. That requires using his hands. At least one hand for sure. This leaves at least one of her hands free to punch,scratch,slap choke him etc. If she was wearing a belt and pants. He would need to use two hands to untie the belt. Her legs would have to be perfectly straight. So that he could pull the pants down. If he was between her legs. Whle she was weraing pants with a belt. How could he pull her pants down if her legs are streched out and bent while he was etween her legs ? Especially if she was resisiting. Obviously if she took off her pants herself before jumping in the bed herself while he was already naked. That would make it a lot easier ofcourse. But, that would be her own doing. Would you take off your own clothes for someone who wants you to. Even if you don't want to ? Even if he asked her to take off her clothes. She could of said no and walked out of the room. But, the only way you can be sure is to have a full Police investigation. You forgot to mention his age,your age her age and her girfriends age. If she's 30 and she willingly layed down beside some naked guy on her bed and spread her legs for him. Then changed her mind that what just happened was rape. Because,she didn't have an orgasm or a fulfilling sexual encounter. I don't see how that's rape.
2006-10-30 10:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by sandwreckoner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been abused as a child, raped once as an adult by an ex, & have had another guy attempt 2 rape me at knife point in a foreign country. I never screamed, not once. I've never told any1 the whole story. When the ex raped me, I stripped myself, etc etc. I just didn't see any other option.I only ever fought back the last time (hence it being an attempted rape). If I hadn't have bitten him THERE, he would've just done it.
I've never pressed charges (1 of the guys is now deceased)
It is not up 2 u 2 question what she says. If u're not gonna b there 4 her, u need 2 let her go & find some1 who will.
If she did just cheat, it'll happen again, & how will she get out of that 1? I'm single, & fairly anonymous, so have no reason 2 lie, yet I would say I've been quite unlucky. So believe me; it is possible.
Good luck, x
2006-10-30 09:05:08 · answer #4 · answered by viv friend 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I were you no I would not take her back.
You clearly don't trust her, so why is this a question?
I have known women who have been raped, I would never sit down and map out a list of facts to see if I could believe it was true.
I don't think I could be with a girl if I believed she would lie to me about something like that. Oh I think your girlfriend is telling the truth but if you have that much distrust you should break up with her, because if she was raped, the next few months are only going to get harder, she is only going to replay that night over and over again a million times each time saying "I should have done this different or that different." She does not need you second guessing her to. Do both of you a favor, end it now.
2006-10-30 08:57:20 · answer #5 · answered by Place holder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to admit the facts are odd but you wouldn't want to be the guy to dump a girl bc something happened that she had no control over. Rape is rape the minute the word "no" is uttered and the other person continues with the sexual act...it doesn't' have to be violent, or aggressive just an unwanted sexual act. So it could have been rape and some victims don't freak out right away. She could have been in shock or denial or have no clue what the hell just happened. I'd talk to her, let her know that you believe her and trust her and find out every detail as long as she is willing to talk. Don't push her...she'll talk when she is ready. However, if you want to dump her bc you don't have feelings for her don't stay around just because. Tell her that you are willing to be friends and you want to be her support when she needs it but that you don't have romantic feelings for her. Just don't place any blame on her...hopefully no one would lie about something as serious as rape.
2006-10-30 08:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by sweet200318 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
I don't know what to say. Rape is a horribly traumatic thing and not something to be made light of. I would think that if your gf really was raped, her roommate would have heard some kind of struggle, or when he left, you would think she would have immediately told her friend or SOMETHING.
But I gotta tell you, this sounds kind of sketchy. Why don't you assert yourself & tell her you're going to take her to the police to fill out a report. Go so far as to get her in the car & drive her to the police station. If she really puts up a fight about it, find out why. I can't tell if she's being honest w/ you, but it doesn't sound like it. Hang in there bud :)
2006-10-30 08:53:59 · answer #7 · answered by Rocker Chick 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry pal it sounds like your girlfriend is feeling guilty about having sex with that guy. she figures he will probably tell his friends and it will eventually get back to you. best defense is a good offenses. why would the guy have a condom on if he didn't know she was going to get into the bed with him. two words a guy hates to hear are don't and stop, unless you put them together.
reverse the situation and see if she could believe a girl raped you under the same set of circumstances.
2006-10-30 08:58:08 · answer #8 · answered by handyman5218 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While this could be considered date-rape, rape by someone you know, it sounds fishy.
Your girlfriend climbed into bed with another guy thinking he was passed out. Why would she allow a guy to come over and get naked and get in her bed - and then climb in with him?
I'm not saying she wasn't raped, but I don't know that I would take her back as a girlfriend - there is more to the story.
2006-10-30 08:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by Mee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She made some very questionable choices, especially getting into to bed with the guy. You are the only one who can decide if she is being truthful. Has she lied to you before? How much do you love her? My advice would be to encourage her to go to a rape crisis center and go to the police. The facts may come to light then.
2006-10-30 08:56:38 · answer #10 · answered by Dennly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋