ok my man wants to have a threesome....which yea im down with that im up for anything my only rules where that it cant be somone i know.....and it cant be somone who has feelings for him as well as i do.....well he wants his ex gf who he jus broke up with a month ago and got back together with me to be the girl now she did agree to it but im worried cuz i know she stills likes him what do i do......another thing is that i through the idea out there of us having a four some lol.....and he shot it down before i could finfish asking he said he cant stand the thouht of another guy sleeping wit me but the same damn thing i would have to watch himand another girl right?????
2006-10-30 08:37:07 · 38 answers · asked by UR COUNTRY BEAUTY 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yeah, its nice that you are comfortable with having a 3some, but they almost always end badly. Me and my ex (before we were ex's) were looking for another woman, and it caused us to lose a lot of the chemistry between us.
Usually one of the 3 in the threesome wants to be more exclusive with one of the other 2, which will cause some drama
Having a 3some with you, your bf and his ex (from a month ago) will cause you to be single very shortly
2006-10-30 08:43:12 · answer #1 · answered by D_Herz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be clear about what this means for your relationship with him and yourself.
The fact that he wants to be with his ex, and she's willing, may mean they aren't as broken up as you would like to believe. On the other hand, my wife and I were with one of my exs, and that went really well and strengthened our relationship.
Also, you said you'd like to do a foursome and he shot that down. Well, maybe he really isn't up to that. Obviously, every situation is different, but don't get into this expecting the "favor to be returned" unless you've talked about it. Don't assume anything. My wife actually hates the idea of being with another man, so when we had a threesome, the question of a foursome never even came up, unless it was another girl for me and a girl for her.
Also, do you maybe think that a month is too new into the relationship to actually do it? I'd say give it a while, until you're familiar with each other. My wife and I weren't even sleeping with each other at one month into the relationship, let alone considering a threesome. Does this mean your relationship is going to be all about sex? If so, who cares if he won't give you a foursome, the next guy might.
2006-10-30 23:51:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means if you want to distroy your obviously already unstable relationship then go for it.
Anyone I know who experimented with this has regretted it in the end.
I think the fact that he wants his ex to participate should be a big red flag for you to run for the hills and dont look back - no good will ever come of this with or without a threesome
2006-10-30 08:41:57 · answer #3 · answered by his temptress 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be perfectly clear with him that you don't want it to be his ex. If he wants to still be sleeping with her, then you need to leave him and find a better man. Threesomes are exciting sexually but can lead to alot of issues. Like you said it would have to be someone who is not connected to you two. Don't let him talk you into it with his ex, there is something majorly wrong with that. Explain that to him. Tell him you agree to doing but only on certain terms.
2006-10-30 08:42:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. Why should you have to watch him and another girl. I feel bad for you. Please respect yourself and don't do it. That is very selfish and self centered of your boyfriend. Explain to him how you feel. Guaranteed if you guys have a threesome, your relationship will never be the same. You will always picture him making love to another woman when you two are getting intimate. It is going to cause resentment and mistrust. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-30 08:41:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
too much info. im not into that stuff so i dont hav a say. it's like cheating to me and you get to see it. Both of you aren't commited when three somes comes up.
i would do the 3 some then dump his ***. at lewast you had the experience. But that's just not going down the right road to a helthy relationship
2006-10-30 08:41:17 · answer #6 · answered by blah blah 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think if he is not willing to do the four some with you then the both of you sould not do the 3 some and yes you will be watching him with another women i do not think that you should do it with his ex either because it sounds like he is just tring to find away to sleep with her if you guys do anything it should be equal me and my hubby are talking about the samething but he agrees with the 3 some and 4 some we both like it.
2006-10-30 08:43:57 · answer #7 · answered by mcdanieljoanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as an experience swinger here:
1) If you're okay with the situation than good, but from experience observing other couples that only do FMF because the boyfriend/husband doesn't want another guy "mowing his grass", eventually the girlfriend/wife starts to get resentful because it's not a level playing field. Even if you never did a MFMF or a MFM, the option has to be open to do it. If it isn't, someone is going to feel cheated after a while.
In my opinion, if he can't stand the idea of you having sex with another guy, than he isn't ready to wade into this pool.
2) No ex's. That is a ground rule my wife and I laid down when we started in the lifestyle. Also, no coworkers. Friends are out simply because it never works. It is easier to make friends of swinging partners than it is swinging partners out of friends. The whole dynamic of the relationship is different when it starts with sex.
From what you've said above I feel your boyfriend is in this simply for his own selfish reasons. Nothing more. You're pleasure from this is not a concern of his. This has to be something you both want to do for each other. And even if your not bi but you're okay with a FMF, he as to at least be open to the idea of a MFM if you want it for your pleasure. If he isn't than he isn't emotionally ready for a threesome or moresome. He's to insecure.
In this situation, I'd say don't do it. You sound like you'd like to try it someday, but if you aren't getting as much out of it as he is, than it isn't the right situation, the right person, or the right time for you.
One of the things my wife and I love is watching each other get our groove on. She is my favorite porn star, and I am hers. I love to watch her having fun. I get as much pleasure from her pleasure as from my own. In fact, I can say from extensive experience, that for me a threesome with my wife and another guy is much more fun than a threesome with another woman. I love to watch her being the center of attention.
If you can't say the same about this situation, than this isn't the right guy to explore this with. Pass and move on with someone that is more secure in themselves and more open-minded.
2006-11-01 13:46:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds like he wants to be with both of you and cant make up his mind so he wants the 3some with you and her. This wont be the last time he wants to do this with her. And if he wont let there be a fourth, dont do it. Thats not fair to you at all. I am all for havin 3somes, but definitely not with an ex and not if he cant agree to things you want also. My advice is DONT do it!!!!!
2006-10-30 08:44:40 · answer #9 · answered by Hydimyangel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right to want to lay down ground rules. Threesomes can be fun, but they are also highly charged situations with lots of room for hurt feelings. If he doesn't respect that, no go, seriously. Hell, if he can't respect that, consider seriously whether he's the right guy for you. I mean, really? An ex, after you specifically said no to that sort of thing? WTF?
2006-10-30 08:43:42 · answer #10 · answered by random6x7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋