The guy I'm into finally broke up with his ex of years this summer and since then we've been spending more and more time together in date-like situations. We practically are dating already, although the hookups and such have been kept a secret so far to everyone else. His ex doesn't know about me being close to him.
I care a lot about this guy and I know he cares about me as well... but at the same time he dated this other girl for so long that he's having trouble letting go. I want to be able to be with him without keeping things so secretive, but I don't want to make him feel pressure from me, since I know getting over a breakup can take time. Do I...
*Keep things where they stand now until he acts?
*Pressure him somewhat to make a decision?
*Give up on him to keep from getting hurt if he ends up staying obsessed with her?
*Or something else?
I'm sick of waiting around and not knowing what I should think or feel. Help me!
2006-10-30 08:11:04 · 8 answers · asked by centralwimusic 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He realizes that what she was to him is something he wants to become for himself. From what he tells me, it seems like he wants to get over her but is afraid to let go. Is there any hope that I could help him or should I just forget it, even though I know he loves me in some way right now?
2006-10-30 08:19:21 · update #1
He realizes that what she was to him is something he wants to become for himself. From what he tells me, it seems like he wants to get over her but is afraid to let go. Is there any hope that I could help him or should I just forget it, even though I know he loves me in some way right now?
2006-10-30 08:19:27 · update #2
There is no way that you can start any kind of long standing relationship with this person if he is still into his ex. Before he can get into a new serious relationship he has to be completely ok with the fact that him and the ex are apart otherwise his new relationships will never work, for the exact reason you are stating now.
What I would do is tell him the truth. Say listen I really like you a lot and care for you. I enjoy spending time with you, and I would like this relationship to progress. But at this time, I think that the best thing for the both of us would be to stop seeing each other until you feel you are ready to move on. (Something like that). This will give him time to think to himself whether or not he wants to keep holding on to the ex or decide that he might be missing something good with you if he does not let go.
You should not pressure him, but you cannot keep this the way it is otherwise you will always have that feeling of him running back to his ex.
2006-10-30 08:18:35 · answer #1 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you have to distance your self from someone that you care about to give them time and space to find out for themselves how important you are to them.
Let him know how you feel and that you are distancing yourself because you care about him and the possibility of there being something serious between the two of you in the future.
2006-10-30 08:15:47 · answer #2 · answered by mysacryfice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing u can do, ask my man he had to deal with it with me cause i was not over the man that i had been with for like 1 year and had a kid by him(still born) but it will work it self out it did for us we just hit the 3 year mark on the 16 of oct.
2006-10-30 08:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by kat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say leave him alone. Your feelings are more then likely going to get hurt. I been in a sticky spot like that before and it is not a fun thing to go through..
2006-10-30 08:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by movu101779 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are still trying to work things out, let him go and move on~
2006-10-30 08:16:49 · answer #5 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's still attached to his ex! Take that as a hint and move on.
2006-10-30 08:13:38 · answer #6 · answered by Emm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON he will never love you
2006-10-30 08:17:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are trying to work it out get out before you get your heart broken
2006-10-30 08:14:57 · answer #8 · answered by daisymayNY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋