Joining the army?

Question

I'm going to graduate from college in the spring with a degree in International Relations and a minor in Arabic. I've been thinking about joining the military for a while now, and it does seem like something I'd really like to do. I want the adventure and the experience most of all. Of course, it doesn't hurt that they'll pay a large chunk of my college loans as well. Yet, at the same time I have been with my girlfriend for a little over 4 years now, and marriage is definitely in the picture, and I'm not so sure that I can ask her to go through with me being deployed on and off for 3 or 4 years. What I'm wondering is, is a new marriage sustainable while on member of the marriage is gone in the military for such long periods of time? Also, is there anywhere else I can get the kind of adventure and experience that the Army offers? It seems like such a unique experience, and while things like the FBI, peace corps, etc interest me too, they just don't have that same appeal.

I was just hoping that someone who has been there and done that would be able to help me out here. I do want to join the military for 3 or 4 years, but I'm just not so sure I can ask or expect someone else to deal with that situation, especially when I don't HAVE to join the Army.

Answer 1

All I can tell you is that YES, military marriages to work. My hubby has been in for 18 years and we've been married that whole time. We also dated for 4 years before him enlisting and us getting married.

I've found independance, yet I still rely on him. I'm stronger than I could have ever imagined. We have a beautiful smart daughter that loves her Daddy to death. He's everything to her and she has nothing but pride having a Dad that takes care of bad men. Her and I are a unit when he's gone. We have a strong bond and share everything. Then, when he comes home, he fits right back into the spot reserved just for him.

I don't know of any other job where you could do what you want. As long as you realize that you can and will be deployed and spend alot of time apart, you're half way to making it work. It takes trust, understanding and a whole lot of love. Our time apart just makes us love each other more. Of course, you'll hear the bad stories, but they happen in the civilian world too. The military community is just smaller and it's easy to perceive a bad impression.

Basically, Army life will be what you make of it. If she hates it, she'll make your life hell. If she adapts, you'll be fine. You both have to be strong.

Good luck!! Thanks for your willingness to serve!!

Answer 2

I was in kinda the same situation that you are currently in only I didn't wait until I graduated from college.

If this is something that you have been thinking about for a while I'm sure you have mentioned it to your fiance a time or two. I was also engaged and my future wife knew of my intentions. She has stuck by me since, that was in 1997. I went through basic training and AIT then came home and got married.

Your relationship is sustainable, don't get me wrong your future wife has to be supportive and self reliant in the chance that you did get deployed. It's also an experiance that she will never forget, don't forget that she'll be sharing the experiances with you and seeing all sorts of new things.

Hope this answers some of your questions.

US Army 1997-Present

Answer 3

Hi-
I was in the infantry from 1986 to 1991 and then two years in the National Guard. Here is my two-cents:

1) You must WANT to do it, i.e enlist.

2) Keep in mind when you are in you BELONG to the U.S. Military. They can send you, assign you and darn near do anything that they want with you.

3) The armed forces demand that you obey orders from people even those that you may or may not like. Some of these orders you will think are petty and stupid but you most obey.(as long as they are not illegal.)

4) The military especially Combat arms is a marriage killer. You WILL spend very long periods away from your home and spouce. I can assure the strength of your marriage will be tested to it's limits.
With the on going war in Iraq and elsewhere YOU will be deployed for extended periods of times. So if you keep these things in mind you will not be surprised.

The good news communication with friends and family back home is much better than it was when I was in with internet, satellite phones, etc. so you will not feel as isolated I was in the first Gulf war.

There are other many positives to military service among them the GI Bill, travel, education etc. You will also have make the best of friends and some of whom will be like brothers and sisters to you.
But all of these come at a price. The price being is that until you are out you are government property.

If you do choose to join either branch of service then I thank you as a veteran for your decision to serve our country.

Good luck and put your faith in the Lord and keep your powder dry!
Phil

Answer 4

I have been there and done that. I've seen just about all there is to see, and I'm glad I did it. BUT:

1. I bit off more than I could chew.
2. I would not do it again.
3. The pay is not livable.
4. Forget about your relationships.
5. You may think it's funny when you see drill Sgt's yelling at new recruits in the movies, but it's not funny when they're yelling at you.
6. War is the most stressful and scarriest thing you'll ever experience.
7. Yeah, you get to travel, but you'll go to parts of countries that you never wanted to see in the first place.
8. You literally become a slave.
9. The best attributes that you will retain from military service is discipline and contentment, but if you can gain these attributes anywhere else I would recommend you do so.
10. You'll need to take a good two years after service to remove the brainwashing effects.

Many will disagree with what I say, but I don't care - I was there, and I only share my opinion. (They have'nt removed their brainwashing yet).

Many like to brag about what unit they served with, or what brownie button they earned while in the Army. I won't do that here to show off like most do, but I will tell you that I have seen combat several times, and have earned some of the best brownie buttons there are in the Army.

My advice - Get yourself in a whole lot of debt by traveling all over the world - and then pay it off over the course of 4 years. You'll learn discipline, contentment, and you'll get to travel all over the place.

Answer 5

My cousin Jake got married months before he left for cicily, after enlisting in the Navy. His wife, Danielle, was allowed to come with him to the base and they are being housed at fairly nice military housing until the remainder of his service, which is until about the middle of July '07. He surprisingly went to Iraq for 6 months as a second class Hull Technician in an EOD unit, where he disarmed roadside bombs, which he would normally do underwater. I plan on following in his steps, but I am hoping to get into Annapolis Naval Academy. The Navy is a great option, and is least likely to put soldiers in Iraq, although it apparently does happen. That's all I really know, so I hope that might help! Best wishes with you girlfriend!

Answer 6

First, I just wanted to tell you, I also have thought Of joining the military for a long time as well, but I did research on it by typing Joining the Military at Google.com, and lots of things popped up. One of them I read was, Should A Christian join the Military, and that changed my mind, not to mention, my Father is in the military, hes in the Navy, and even if you do go for 3-4 years, its just goin to get worse, cuz once you finish your years, they will try to reenlist you, and you will be stuck for another 3-4 years. My Dad signed for 3 years..hes been in for 9 years. Everyday he hates it, he wasnt around while growing up, so it was hard on us kids, my Mom was always depressed and worried. SO its hazardous to the family, not to mention, yourself, cuz it does you harm mentally and physically, from sexual harrassment to being a war toy. So if you Do join, best of luck to you, but I promise, unless you are a tough person mentally and physically, and is ok with the fact of knowning, your wife will be miserable without you around, and worried to death if your goin to be ok, or if not, shipped off to war, then Dont do it. Research it, I promise, it will make you think twice bout it. Dont believe the things you see on TV, and stuff, cuz thats just fantasy on the most part, Military is Ugly, and EXTREMLY deceitful.

Answer 7

Yes, you're going to ought to enlist within the Army to emerge as an Army Ranger. However, it's feasible to paintings it out together with your recruiter so that you are going to enlist as Infantry, attend Ranger institution after Basic and AIT, after which probably serve with the75th Ranger Regiment. It shall be plenty of tough paintings, however you'll do it.

Answer 8

Here's th equick answer. Try joining the reserves for a couple of years, although I think you have to sign for six to have them pay for school. Give it a try, see fi the marriage stick with you through bootcamp, 12 weeks. Then take it day by day. Do NOT go jumping in the deep end until you learn to swim.

Otherwise, you try finding a job in Europe, and position yourself close enough to see the rest of the world on yorur own. I wish I had taken my own advise. 6 years US Navy.

Answer 9

Marriages do work in the Army if the spouse is willing to make it work.

Here's the 911 on the US Army. DO NOT ENLIST. GO AS A COMMISSIONED OFFICER. With your background you can apply for a direct commission. This is for a select group of individuals with the right skills to bypass all necessary commissioning routes. Hard to do but attainable.

Second choice but the best bet. Army ROTC. Find the Army ROTC office on your college campus and ask to speak to the Recruting and Retention Officer. STAY AWAY FROM THE ENLISTED RECRUITERS (the guys at the strip malls who are sergeants and not a Captain or Major) UNTIL THE ROTC RECRUITER SAYS YOU CANNOT DO ROTC DURING A MASTER'S PROGRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can do ROTC while pursuing your master's degree and the Army will pay for it especially with your background. It will allow you to get married, finish your masters and will make you a 2nd LT which pays three times as much as you would make as an enlisted soldier. In two years you will be in the Army as a 1ST LT OR CPT making $65K, instead of just making sergeant or staff sergeant at $28-30K. You will have soldified your marriage and will be in a GREAT position for choice of duty station.

As a Commissioned officer with a Master's, you will be selected ahead of your peers for promotion, especially if you go to Airborne School and Ranger School. Once done with those and as a CAptain you can apply for Special Forces. If you can pass the language aptitude test for Arabic you will receive language proficiency pay and have the additional cash plus the benefit of writing your own career.

I had a college degree and went enlisted. DON'T DO IT NO MATTER WHAT THEY PROMISE YOU. Your life will suck as you will be surrounded by kids that will make you crazy.

The enlisted recruiters will promise the world to you as you are a highly valuable recruit for them but in the end you will be another dumb *** private going through basic training. ROTC doesn't have basic but they do have summer camps you have to attend. Much easier and more intelligent training. Get your master's or an MBA, have the Army ROTC pay for it and be money ahead. Also, you will have a much better pick of jobs should you leave the service and can lateral transfer your time in service over to other government agencies like th CIA or Department of State.

Go talk to your Army ROTC recruiter on your campus. Please listen to my voice of experience and don't enlist with your background and capabilities. The Army Officer Corps needs you and is willing to pay dearly for you.

Answer 10

Spending that much time away from each other will definitely put a strain on the marriage, but if your love for each other is as strong as you make it out to be then you should be OK. Good luck!