I'm 17 years old, would the Lord really shun me for having sex out of marrage ...I've done my reasearch. I know the risks and how to protect myself. I love him and he loves me more then I know. However, I'm still fearfull...my first "pap" killed me. So how will that be any different then my man on top of me. Plus, despite protection...I could still get pregnate. Finally...I will loose something that I will never be able to get back, and I don't want to give it away to someone...who hasn't committed themselves to me yet. He's not bugging me about having sex...it's something that we both want to share together and he says he is ready when I am ready. Why am I so fearful? Is this normal...am I just peranoid or a square. I love him and he loves me...so why can't that be enough for me?
2006-10-30 07:47:08 · 12 answers · asked by Baby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
God told us not to have sex outside of marriage for a reason. I know that I regret ever second of not saving myself for my husband. By the grace of God I have a man that forgave me for not waiting and doesn't think that I'm after everyone with a penis. If this guy wants to share this with you why not the rest of his life? Is it really worth it? Sex is good and I enjoy it very much but I shutter to think about how much better it could be. My honeymoon could of been awesome but instead it was the same old song and dance. If you have any respect for the Lord you'll obey his commands and be rewarded with a stronger relationship in marriage. We can't pick and choose the commands that we want to follow if we want to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant."
I pray for your sake that you make the right decision.
2006-10-30 08:13:16 · answer #1 · answered by spirit filled 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once you go there, you can not go back. It is a beautiful thing when the time is right. If you are having ANY second thoughts, then the time is not right.
Also remember that once you do it, your man (who sounds like a real decent guy) is going to expect you to continue to do it. Even though he says he'll understand, he won't. I'm a guy and I wouldn't understand.
There are lots of ways to satisfy both your urges without actually having intercourse. and since you have a good guy who is willing to wait, why would you feel the need to give it up now?
Fear is a good thing. It tells you that something is wrong. In this case it may be the timing. I don't think you're paranoid (at least I didn't see you at last weeks meeting) or square. Just smart for putting so much thought into this decision before doing it.
2006-10-30 08:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by michaelsmaniacal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its great you are considering all your options and such. It shows you are a responsible young lady. If you're this afraid, then just wait. You're obviously not ready. Don't rush yourself. It will happen in due time, and you will know when the time is right. I, personally, think you should hold on to it for as long as you can. You are right, once it's gone, its gone. I would be very picky about who I let it go to. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have something special. Even if you do love him and he loves you, you two could still benefit from waiting. I think you should. Sex is overrated, and not like what you see in the movies. I do know, though, when you are in love, it will definitely be better then if you were just having sex. If your hearts connect on that level, then the better it will be. Honestly though, I would tell my little sister to wait until she was older- preferably after she was married. All the more special it will be, ya know? And, I'm not sure how God will look at this, you have to ask him yourself.
2006-10-30 07:58:15 · answer #3 · answered by shondak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God wouldn't shun you for deciding to go ahead, but His word says that you need to wait until marriage to have sex.
You obviously have considered the facts of having sex, but have you considered how you and your relationship with this boy will be effected? Will things be awkward? Does he really love you, or is he looking for something else? What if (heaven forbid) you do become pregnant? You will probably break up sooner or later, and you may regret it.
When you are married and have sex, none of these things matter because you know you're with the one you're going to spend the rest of your life with. If you get pregnant, it'll be ok since the two of you are in a stable relationship, and within marriage sex strengthens a relationship.
2006-10-30 08:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your not a square. You have really thinking about the overall. Honestly, I think that you should wait until you are in a serious committed relationship. And, you should at least make him wait until after 6 months. Or, you can just wait until you get married. Right now, you are still pure and a lot of girls are not pure because they gave it up to the wrong person. And 9 times out of 10 they guy has moved on to the next girl. Really think about your decision? Right now, its just lust (puppy love) and you probably do love him. But, your not IN LOVE yet. GOOD LUCK!! P.S. You are a very wise and smart girl.
2006-10-30 07:52:44 · answer #5 · answered by loves2dream2003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all honey, you say he loves you? What is love? True love wants what is best for the other and true love waits till it can be expressed in the foundation of commitment "marriage", anything else is selfish sex for sex sake.If a man loves you he will respect you, and care for your best. God won't shun you, by why do you want to sin against the only one who really loves you? What you are feeling is what God has given us called guilt, shame and concious, your fear is that there is no commitment. Enjoy your friendship, but if he wants sex, tell him only if we get married, he's not ready? to bad!
2006-10-30 07:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by might help 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have addressed this question very intelligently, because you are examining it from all angles, including birth control, paps, etc. The problem is that your heart/spirituality and your mind/body are not in agreement. Mentally, you're saying "No big deal," and physically you're wanting sex. But your heart is telling you that having sex IS a big deal, a sin even. Both are correct. You must decide for yourself whether it is more important to listen to your body and mind, or to your heart/spirituality.
2006-10-30 07:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let "it" go :-D
Edited on second reading: I assumed that you are talking about out of merriage sex.
If not, then there is nothing wrong with letting "it" go. I didn't do it, but I don't think it is "pap". It's just our society's traditional thinking and conservative agendas which may be intended to save us from possible dangers. As long as you can justify to yourself, you don't need anybody else's permission. - Just make sure that you are not breaking any legal age limits laws (or the other person is not minor) or are leaving in middle east.
2006-10-30 07:48:29 · answer #8 · answered by bestofthebestusa 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only question you have to answer is if this guy is the right one to do it with. If you feel in your heart that he is, go for it. You don't want to go through life an uptight virgin.
2006-10-30 07:48:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because, honey, you're just not ready. Don't rush, there's plenty of time, if he loves u, he'll wait!
2006-10-30 07:49:26 · answer #10 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋