My daughter has chose to live with her faher. When she moved in with him everything was great. She told me last week that she didnt like living with him and she didnt like his girlfriend. When I called her dad she change her mind. Whats going on with my child? i feel like I dont know her anymore. She is very rude and disrespectful to me. I dont know what to do. I have been a good mother to this child. Someone please help. Tell me what I should do. I feel like I should just step out of the picture. Her father was never a father to her .He just has money. When I divorced him I left the money. I love my daugher but she is pushing me away.
2006-10-30 07:19:54 · 7 answers · asked by theresa kay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is normal teenage angst. Even teens who live with both parents try to play them against each other. Teens with divorced parents just have more leverage.
That said, just because it's normal doesn't mean it's okay. I suggest that you don't let her pull you into this. If she expresses that she's unhappy living with her father, remind her that she chose to live with him and should take responsibility for discussing this with him. Listen and be supportive but don't let her make it your problem (unless abuse or danger is involved.)
When she is rude or disrespectful, look her in the eye and say firmly but calmly "I will not listen when you talk to me this way." Then end the conversation; don't add another word. Leave the room, put on headphones, lock the bathroom or whatever it takes to end communication. It may seem like you're the one being punished or giving up authority but you are taking control. Come back when things have cooled off a bit. Repeat as needed! Eventually she'll figure out that you wont get drawn into a power struggle.
On the flip side, it's important that when things are okay, you to listen well, sneak in hugs, and praise her. Look for chances to say something nice but sincere. She'll realize you are there for her. She really wants your love she just confused right now.
2006-10-30 08:21:25 · answer #1 · answered by Karrose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is an unhappy teen who's life has been torn up by her parents' actions. Not her fault.
She would have been disrespectful anyway, but now she is more so. AND she can play you against her father.
Be her mother. Set boundries. Let her know you love her even when she tries to hurt you. Tell her when she hurts you and that you still love her.
Stepping out of the picture is easy for about a day, but absolutely the wrong thing to do. She will not forgive you. You will not forgive yourself.
You can pray. You can spend time with her. You can't be the best friend. You can be her mom.
You don't have to compete with money. She knows who cares. She knows who has money. Sixteen year olds know enough to know who cares about them. Just make being her mom important. Call and don't break appointments. Be there. Some day she will figure it out.
Some day she will be your friend again. Now just be her mom.
2006-10-30 07:49:25 · answer #2 · answered by WhoKnows?1995 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you really need to get a one on one date with your daughter. Go to the mall for the day or something and talk to her. Tell her that you truly love her, that you want to be her mother (wether she lives with you or not), and that you feel she is pushing you away. Ask her how she feels. Maybe there is something that you have done or said that makes her feel the same way. The only person that really knows what's going on and why she is acting the way she is, is her and God. Pray! Pray about what's going on. Tell God you feel uncomfortable and would like a better relationship with your daughter. She is 16. Maybe she's gotten caught up with bad friends. Good luck and God Bless!!
2006-10-30 08:18:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is a TEEN. Teens go through a lot of stages. She probably decided to live with her dad because of the money and maybe she is being rude and disrecpectful because maybe her father talks bad about you in front of her. Do you spend time with your daughter. You should offer to take her out to lunch and spend a mother/daughter day together.
2006-10-30 07:27:11 · answer #4 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the beginning PLEASE be supportive of the call she makes and comprehend, even although she is only sixteen and she or he's your toddler, that is finally HER decision! do no longer push her into making any particular decision, if she desires to maintain this toddler and she or he's keen to artwork and help him/her then greater means to her. yet, in case you're no longer interior the financial concern to assist yet another toddler enable her comprehend prematurely which you help her the two way yet that is HER toddler and she or he will could grant for him/her considering you already raised your toddlers and can't locate the money for to boost yet another one. it may probably help in case you sit down and ratationally think of approximately it, make a catalogue of issues you could/are keen to do to assist her and a catalogue of issues you will no longer do. only please, do no longer push her away along with your anger, which will only make the situtation worse! possibility is, she doens't decide on an abortion, if that replaced into the case she could have completed that without ever telling you that she replaced into pregnant so do no longer push this one her. perchance present it as an decision {for my section it WOULDN"T be an decision for my daughter as i'm COMPELTELY against it} yet you could present it in case you decide on on.
2016-12-16 16:43:09 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the sad truth is your daughter is 16 and at this age some girls like being materialistic, and that's what it sounds like to me. its not that she don't love you, she acts this way towards you because she herself feels guilty. she knows what she is doing is wrong, so she needs to take it out on someone and that someone is you. don't step out of the picture, she will come to realize that you are not the bad guy here.and when she does, you will need to be there.
2006-10-30 08:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...sounds to me like she's got a bad case of being sixteen. She'll grow out of it....it may take a few years.
2006-10-30 07:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by Just tryin' to help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋