Spanking or Time out?

Question

Do you think spanking your child or putting them in time out is better? My son's pediatrician says it's better to give a time out and we debated about it. I said I spank my son when it is appropriate. He says that eventually leads the child to be defiant later. The doctor said he was spanked and l pointed out to him, "Look how you turned out." Time out just doesn't work to me. I believe a certain level of fear and dominance has to be established with your child or they may end up like one of the Columbine students that just snapped.

CareBears, I'm sorry for what your mom did. That actually was abuse as opposed to spanking. Smacking a child in the face is not necessary. And HADITDUN, I agree with you in taking something of value from your child, but do you know the Doctor said that was not a good idea either. I don't remember why, but at that point I just stopped listening. Spanking and time out, I believe, can be used effectively together. Parents have to learn when to use each.

Answer 1

It depends on the spanking. As long as it doesn't lead to abuse then I don't see a problem with it. All those people that say it leads to a defiant child are against it, they are biased. I turned out fine. A time out to think about what you did is a slap on the hand, I'm sure they are really thinking out what they did wrong. It teaches them they can do whatever they want and they will get to sit down and "think" about it. How does that teach them anything? All kids I know that get a time out are spoiled brats that need to be spanked. They yell, scream, and do whatever they want and get a time out. LAME, they are taught that the consequences of their actions are not painful, they are just to sit down and think about their actions. Then when they are in the real world and do something boy is it a shock when they really get punished and get life. I turned out just fine, I am not unruly or defiant. I understand punishment and doing wrong and the consequences that aren't always pretty. Just make sure it isn't abuse.

Answer 2

I think that spanking is more effective because it makes the kid remember the pain...and that if they did it again, then they would get spanked again. I believe if the kid didn't know it was wrong (the first time) then teach them why it was wrong and not to do it again. But the next time they do it, they should get spanked... it makes them remember. I was spanked by my parents...and by looking at the differences, the kids who do get spanked learn their lessons better than those who don't and get grounded or time out. I also think that being grounded is somewhat effective, but not as much as spanking. these days when people say spanked, they think that it is cruel and like abuse, but it is not, unless the parent is actually really beating the child up.

Answer 3

I believe that their is a time for both, in my household for small minor things time-outs maybe okay for punishment but when it comes to bigger things that require more discipline then we spank, and when I say spank I mean on the butt, i don't believe in hitting my children, by this i mean smacking in the face, back of the head, arms, and other places like this, I also believe that those parents out there that listen to people who tell them that it is wrong to spank there children most, likely will have problems with their children by the time they are old enough to drive a car. I can only hope that when you do spank that you talk to them after they are spanked to help the children understand why they got spanked and help them to know what choices they could have made better so that you won't have to discipline them for the same thing again and again! Best of Luck to those of you who don't think that spanking should be allowed. I know that my children will know right from wrong and will understand what respect is and why you must give it to get it!!!!

Answer 4

Actually it's quite the contrary. It's been proven that time outs lead to defiance. They also shame and isolate the child. Why would sitting in the corner be a punishment anyway? If that's what a punishment is, then I'm being punished right now!

I think you should spank. I was spanked, my parents were spanked, their parents were spanked, and we're all fine! Yes there is an appropriate time and an inappropriate time to spank, but if used correctly spankings are very effective.

The children I know who's parents use "time outs" are actually some of the worst behaved children I've ever come across. They don't take their parents seriously, throw tantrums constantly, and are just plain disrespectful.

Go with the spankings. "Spare the rod, spoil the child"

Answer 5

It really depends on the child. My two daughters are both extremely stubborn and I spanked the oldest, but used time-outs with the younger. The oldest one is pretty responsible and trustworthy. The younger one lies, steals, is sneaky and, even though I love her, as a person I just don't like her.

My two sons are another story entirely. The oldest has only had time-outs and is still such a sweetheart and the younger is too young for these types of discipline, but still responds well when he's told no or to stop what he's doing.

Time will tell.

Answer 6

I really think that this questions a hard to answer. I have used both spanking and time out. But I think that it also depends on the offense that they have done. Alot of the time I make my children choose there own punishment and usually they are harder on themselves then I am on them and this routine has work a number of times for my husband and I. For example my oldest daughter(8) she got caught throwing snowball ls at school and when she got home with the note for getting in trouble we had her choose her punishment and she chose to be grounded from the TV for 1 day for every snow ball that she through and she through 3 of them so I think that if you have your child choose you get better results. But if they are younger then I think that spanking works it gets there attention and they try and not do it again.

Answer 7

I believe in spanking "spare the rod, spoil the child". There are definitely appropriate times for it. Especially when the children are young. Eventually they turn into teenagers and spanking is no longer an option and you will have to come up with more creative ways to discipline them.

Answer 8

Spanking is a form discipline. I do not know when it became a four letter word. I spanked all three of my children (they are 12, 12 and 9) they are all respectful children. At this point all I have to do is tell them that their behavior is unacceptable and they stop.

I only used spanking as a last resort for really bad behavior. For the rest I took priviledges away, toys, etc. etc.

Answer 9

I agree with you DJ about a certain level on fear being instilled in the child. I think the punishment should befit the crime. In some cases spanking is best, and in others time-out is all you need. I have kids and I believe in spanking until they reach a certain age, and I yell and yell.

Answer 10

I think this question may have alot of different point of views. My parents spanked us and we all turned out fine--I mean they would talk to us and yelland when that didnt work we got spanked. And we always had repect and always behaved. My brother uses time-out with his daughter and it also helps---she behaves or she gets time out and she knows it.
I think with my kids i will use the time out method and if they do something bad I will spank them on their butt not beating but spanking-----and that way they will learn too!