If you didn't have a Father or a horrible one I want you to know I know that feeling you have. I know the "missing" piece in your life. My natural Father died in Southeast Asia in 1966..I never knew him, just pictures and letters and stories from friends and family. They all speak of a wonderful loving man. My mother in her grief married an abusive man that no words of mine could ever describe. They were married 17 years. BTW, I travel to the very spot my Dad died with a friend of his last April..I wanted to see the grass and trees he saw before he died-silly I know.
I'd like to share what I have learned. I know the fear you have about being a parent...you fear you will be abusive also. I want you to know that's not true if you break the cycle. You give your children what we wanted and craved "LOVE" Love them lavishly, love them extravagantly. I've have 3 children that walk in love everyday. GIVE them exactly what we so badly wanted, not money but your time & love.
will you agree?
2006-10-30 06:56:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can break the cycle and Love is the key.
2006-10-30 06:57:24 · update #1
Totally agree. AND you are NOT silly for wanting to see what your father saw. I was abused and I believe the cycle can be broken, you just have to want to. That is why I get angry at abusers saying they can't help it. We all have the power to not abuse. I'm glad you made it.
2006-10-30 07:04:04 · answer #1 · answered by FireBug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Totally agree. My dad is a horrible person, abusive to his family in every way. It took me 35 years to tell my mother what he did to me behind closed doors. It was like starting a new life to be able to get him out of my life. The cycle doesn't have to continue. I have have 4 beautiful children and while I am not a perfect Mom, we have a very happy and peaceful life together.
2006-10-30 16:47:49 · answer #2 · answered by Dennly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I agree. I was married to a very abusive man. I divorced him. I have a sixteen year old daughter she has gone to live with this man. I have no clue why. I think its because of money. I lost everything I have every had. But I did lose my dignity. It hurts because she witness the abuse. I feel like I gave her my life now she is with him. I hope one day I will read something from her so beautiful that you have writen.
2006-10-30 15:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by theresa kay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree! My dad left us when I was 2. He did not care to contact or even do anything for me and my brother. Well I got abused by my foster parents and family members of mine. Growing up it was hard on me because my family was always abusing me in different ways. My brother was more safe because they did not touch boys only girls. I hated my life I even tried running away when that failed I tried committing suicide. Then I got older and got in relationships and got into a abusive relationships. Friends got me out of them and keeping me safe. Well now I live in my own apartment not with anyone to scared to date again. I'm only 21 years old I will one day find a man that will treat me right.
2006-10-30 15:09:45 · answer #4 · answered by Christy H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i grew up with no father as well and well i looked for him found him lived with him a year he moved never tried to find me I found him again with the alw helping iam 32 and only seen my dad 2 or 3 times maybe other than living with him i saw him last this july fourth cause the family called asking about me and the grandchild he seen 1 time when she was a year and 2 months and this july i seen him cause the family said he was dying so went to see himthis july 4th weekend almost lost my job cause they didn;'t belive my dad was dying and i had to bring a letter from his doctor sayin he wasdying for that reason i spent time with a man i knew hardly nothing.he was never around for the reason he never wanted to be there i drove 8 hours to spend 2 days with him and i glad i did he died oct of this year I glad i died cause that time i spent with him was special to me and my chil dcause she met her papa joe and hope she has good memorys of thaat time have pics also but yeah no dad til he was dying so i still was glad to meet him befor ehe met his maker only wish the best honey cause i know the feeling he diedyoung i am 32
2006-10-30 15:06:07 · answer #5 · answered by newmom3272002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father was the pure essence of evil and abusive to me
I have broken the cycle along time ago and I am finally free of the braindamage that inflicted on me when I was just a child..........I like who I am now, not perfect but just me........
Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust. Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.
2006-10-30 15:12:00 · answer #6 · answered by mysticideas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father left me before I was born (he caught my mother cheating on him). I grew up in a family which were full of religious hypocrisy. I left that accursed family at age 33. I'm married now and my wife and I have a 1 year old daughter.
I swore before God that I won't allow whatever happened to me to repeat itself on my family.
Peace.
2006-10-30 21:26:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry that you never knew your father and ended up with an abusive stepfather, I lost my father last year to cancer and I was truly blessed with the most loving, kind, funny, gentle and a father who never lost his temper, For that I am grateful.
2006-10-30 15:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What can I say? Beautifully said, well done.....
I know your Father (your real father) is looking down on you with nothing but pride,love and honor,
But let me tell you this, there was not cycle for you, that man who was in your life is not the man you share blood with, yes he could have scared you for life and you could have continued that pain that We do share but, you didn't, your bloodline is strong and good and as you said love can beat all.................Thank you
2006-10-30 15:05:52 · answer #9 · answered by Lil Angel 68 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I agree. I never knew my father either,he died when I was a baby.
2006-10-31 06:38:12 · answer #10 · answered by Deerrunner 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋