I was talkin to him and he told me since we are living together (understand that there are reasons behind him living with me and my mother who lives with us part time). I know who my creater is and I love him very dearly but someone please help me what should I do? Should i find someone else to marry me (which i was thinking my grandfather, but i dont know if he wants to do it plus he lives in another state) or stick with someone who does not believe my faith in god.
2006-10-30 06:52:46 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I had a similar issue. When my husband and I decided to get married we met with my pastor. At the time I was living with my parents and all was well. Things got progressively worse at home for me and I was tired of fighting with my mother and a few months before the wedding I moved out and moved in with my husband. Well, after about two minutes I guess my mother had told everyone at church, including my pastor. She then calls me and says that I need to call and talk to him because he doesnt know if he's going to marry us. So I talked to him and he said he wasnt sure if I was making a good decision. He asked me in the begining if I felt this was "of God" and I said yes. We were very much (are very much) in love and he said that me living with him was not a good decision and he said he didnt know if someone who was listening to God could make a good decision and a bad decision at the same time. That was all he said. So I explained that I felt I couldnt take it at home and that we desperately wanted to be married. Before I talked to him, I considered even having an ex-boyfriend, who's ordained, to marry my husband and I. We discussed eloping, and having a small ceremony in our backyard with another preacher. We didnt care as long as we were married. My pastor ended up marrying us and nothing changed but I did need to talk to him and explain that while it might not look right, or even be right, I knew it was wrong and felt that I had no other choice. By getting married we'd be making it right and I'd just have to stick it out. He chose to stick it out with us.
2006-10-30 07:05:50 · answer #1 · answered by rdnkchic2003 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying he won't marry you guys because of it? Or are you just concerned? Anyway, I have to say that sex before marriage is considered a sin, and I don't think living together before is really the most christian thing to do (but I completely understand that circumstances arise, and it's god's place to judge) However, It is not your preachers place to judge and "punish" you for this, he can guide you in the right direction, but it's god's place to take care of the rest. For him to question your faith because of a sin is well at best pathetic. Everyone sins, he has you have, I have, that doesn't mean he has the right to question your faith. Once again, thats between you and God. No sin is greater than another in God's eyes, maybe he should keep that in mind before he runs around questioning your faith. Perhaps you should have a discussion about this with him. As far as I am concerned, you are trying to make this right, and he should be happy for that. As far as to move on with another preacher or not, you have to ask yourself if you feel comfortable with this man, or is the fact that he has passed so much judgement reason enough to start a new search. I personally would be highly offended by someone questioning my faith, and would probably look into other options, but this is your decision. Pray on it, God will help ya! Your in my prayers, and good luck!
2006-10-30 09:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by ASH 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand his position: the bible says it is wrong, and you are still doing it. My pastor has the same position. He has married people who are living together when children are involved, but otherwise, he says ifyou are serious about having a Christian Marriage, and having God as the center, you have to start before the wedding.
Does this mean you shouldn't get married? NO. Optimumally, he would stay somewhere else for a few months until after the wedding. I bet if you told the pastor that you wanted that, he could find a place for your fiance to stay.
As for who should marry you - your faith in God is really only deteremined by God - not by what your pastor thinks. So, don't worry about it:) If you want the pastor to marry you and he is willing, great. If not, find someone else.
2006-10-31 02:52:15 · answer #3 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am having the same issue. I feel that there are preachers or other ordained officials who will marry people who live together. Most importantly, no one can tell you how to live your life but God. Look for non-denominational preachers or non-traditional people like a notary public, a judge or maybe a relative can get ordained to marry you. Good Luck.
2006-10-30 18:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by nygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else. Most preachers would be happy you are wanting to make your situation permanent. Statistics prove now that more than 50% of the population is single, but I guarantee they don't all live alone. I admire you and good luck. This preacher is not for you.
2006-10-30 07:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Crazyhot on this one. If you truly love your Creator than you would obey what He has taught. God has taught that sex before marriage is wrong. The pastor is simply telling you that it is his professional decision not to join the two of you in matirmony. There are other pastors out there who do not feel the same. But remember, God also said, "do not judge, or you too will be judged."
2006-10-30 08:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by Lori 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has every right to refuse to marry you, and I have heard of this often. Many religions frown upon couples living together before marriage, and you should have known that - totally regardless of the circumstances. Since you have already disagreed with your faith on that matter, perhaps you have some re-thinking to do, and talking to do with your fiance before you get married.
2006-10-30 07:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your preacher is not an idiot. It is against the Christian faith to have sex before marriage. He is not in the wrong and I don't blame him for not doing the ceremony. Obviously you need to find another preacher that doesn't know about your living arrangements.....
2006-10-30 07:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
definitely find someone else. The last thing you need to worry about on your wedding day, is whether or not the guy marring you believes in your christian values. Who is he to judge your relationship with your creator? You apparently have faith in God or it wouldn't be so important to you to be married by a man of God. this guy seems to more preoccupied with his views of things rather than with your marriage. Forget about him and have yourself a splendid day.
2006-10-30 07:27:28 · answer #9 · answered by heather d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would find someone else to marry you.
This person does not deserve to preside over your special day. A person who is so mean and narrow minded should not have the privilege to marry you.
Has he not heard judge not lest ye be judged, or let ye without sin cast the first stone?
I am so sorry he acted that way towards you. You deserve a preacher who will be an added blessing to yur special day.
Good luck with your wedding!
God bless!
2006-10-30 07:04:28 · answer #10 · answered by TheLastPrincess 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋