My hubby and I are talking about starting a family. I am worried because my Mother HATED being a Mother and talked about how horrible it is. Is it a blessing or a burden in your eyes? Please help! Once I have a kid you can never go back from that and I am scared I will want to.
2006-10-30 06:37:10 · 18 answers · asked by Mel in STL 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I can honestly say I haven't! Then again, I can also honestly say I've not made that decision either. Probably because of the difficulty in that, being I am male.
2006-10-30 06:45:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I will be the only honest one.......YES. I did from time to time really question whether this is really what I wanted. I have two girls under 3 and the first year with the two of them I can honestly say was a complete blur of crying, worrying, exhaustion, and just generally feeling angry at times. I (and my mom) just kept telling myself it will get easier once the little one is walking. And it did, things now are really great, we have so much fun with them and it is like a whole new life from a year ago.
Don't kid yourself, it's not all roses and coos. It sounds like you are prepped for that part. But........also be prepped to love something more than your own life. There is no way you can tell someone what being a parent is like, there just isn't, they won't understand. Every one of my friends has said to me after about 2 months after having their babies...........NOW I know what you meant, you really CAN'T describe it! Their are so many emotions when you are a parent, and most people won't admit that anger is one of them. It's totally normal.
Now that I've said that part...........you may have alot of bitterness toward your mom. But there may have been some things about her that you never were let in on. Depression and/or bi-polar disorder are things that most people won't admit or seek help for, especially 20-30 yrs ago. There are multiple people in my family who are classic bi-polar, but will never admit it or try to fix it. My family has basically written off my grandmother because of all the heartache she has caused.
So, my point is that having kids is a huge change in your life and the stress can sometimes bring out feelings and emotions that have been controllable until then. So if you do have a baby, just be sure to talk openly with your doctor about Post-partum depression.
Good luck.
2006-10-30 07:11:46 · answer #2 · answered by cassie_mattiesmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a young mother of three and happily married, I couldn't say I regret my children or having them young an I love being a mother but sometimes I fantasize what It would be like to be single and doing whatever I wanted, but i probaby would have got my self into trouble. My kids are the best thing that happen to me, everything I do the end result is for them.
2006-10-30 06:52:57 · answer #3 · answered by Jody 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way. When I was young I didn't think I could handle being a mom so I aborted. That I will always regret. Now I have a 25 year old daughter and she has two boys and I love them so, so much. I don't know what I would do without them. Children do change your life but it is for the best. I don't think that once you hold that baby in your arms you will feel anything other than love, caring and look brightly toward you and his/her future. Good Luck.
2006-10-30 06:52:20 · answer #4 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if someone has a kid who is just pure evil then yeah I could see someone not wanting to be a mother. Some people really dont need to be mothers but Im sure you will do just fine as a mother. You certainly dont want to go around telling your kids that you hate being their mother and that their burdens.
2006-10-30 06:44:56 · answer #5 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your hubby want to start a family, go for it - and stay away from your mother! Seriously, you need to stand up to her and tell her that if she hasn't got anything good to say to you, she should keep her mouth shut or you just won't see her anymore. Period.
What's her problem, telling you (of all people) that she hated being a mom? My mom pulled that crap on me, too. My mom said that all babies are mistakes. It took therapy for me to get past that!
Maybe all of us feel the "burden" of parenthood from time to time, but that's normal. There's no greater joy than being a parent and there's no greater pain, either. If you're lucky, and you will be, the joy way out-weighs the pain!
I never knew the meaning of the word 'adore' 'til I had my first baby!
2006-10-30 06:57:16 · answer #6 · answered by NEWTOME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never regretted it. Of course there are times when you are frustrated, like 3 am and the child has been crying for two hours straight, or when you look at the living room suite and it is covered in gooey, sticky food, but that is all outweighed by the joy children bring. There have been times when I have been really sad, and not even knowing it my precious daughter smiles or rubs my face or something, and I feel so much better.
Your mom may have had it rough and expressed herself badly.
2006-10-30 06:50:10 · answer #7 · answered by DownAndOut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had 2 beautiful Children and I don't regret it and I never will my kids are the greatest kids they grew up in a wonderful home you see I gave up my kids for adoption because I could not take care of them I did what was best for my kids and I don't' regret that decision either I love my kids with all my heart.
2006-10-30 06:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by Tammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant imagine my mom ever saying that. That would make me feel horrible. I LOVE being a mother. I have 3 sons and another baby on the way and my husband and I are so excited about it. Its the best thing ever.
2006-10-30 06:57:46 · answer #9 · answered by Blondi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two beautiful children.. Anthony is 4 and Sophia is 3 mths. Being a mother is the greatest reward ever. I do not regret it at all. I wouldn't change anything ever.
2006-10-30 06:46:05 · answer #10 · answered by Kat0312 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋