Me and her have been dating secretly ever since she broke up with her ex. Everyone can see she is unbelievably obsessive. I don't want to hurt her too much considering everything that has happened. I do want her to be happy but she does so many things that are wrong and upset me. I used to be in love with her but after I realized that nothing good has come of this relationship, I just felt bad about it all. I need to find a way to break up with her without totally crushing her.
2006-10-30 05:55:59 · 18 answers · asked by Squirm 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There's no getting around her being upset, so you'll just have to be honest with her and accept the outcome. The most you can do is be as kind about it as you can, but don't leave any room for misunderstanding that the relationship is over. The longer you put it off, the harder it will be.
You don't have any control over whether she is crushed or not. She sounds like she needs professional help; putting off the break-up will just make it harder for you both.
2006-10-30 06:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God, mistake #1 doing it over the phone, im assuming you did it over text since she came over rather than just talked to you about it while you were on the phone. thats mistake #2... mistake #3, reinforcing the lie. you could have simply explained that you need space and rather then break it off, could have put a little more effort in, and wait and see if she eased up a bit knowing that you could easely break it off. mistake #4 having sex. that most defenitily re enforced your previous lie. Now it's gonna be a little harder to break it off : Suggestions 1. tell her your having a problem with her clingyness, see if she'll change to stay together. If not just say well then I think we'll have to our seperate ways or something 2. If your still playing with the idea of breaking up, a little unsure then ask to take a break 3. If you defenitily want to break up, BE A MAN! don't let her be dominent in this situation and convince you other wise. Just say I can't do this anymore I think we should see other people. ...
2016-05-22 11:55:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation before. I found from those close to me that the sooner you break it off the better. I broke up with my girl friend and we had a cruise planned for in a month. It's somthing that just has to be done. Tell her that you don't feel the same way she feels for you, or tell her you fell out of love with her. That's what I did and I still talk with my ex every year or so. Good Luck!
2006-10-30 06:07:47 · answer #3 · answered by TJC19999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some credit, I am sure she will be hurt, but people deal with breakups all the time. Just tell her in person, not by phone or email and be nice about it. You don't have to be a jerk to break it off. Just let her know that while you care for her, you just don't see the relationship going anywhere. If she presses you, I would let her know that obsessive behavior is a turn off.
2006-10-30 05:59:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most relationships will hurt. But you need to tell her if it's not right for you. They're are many possiblies you can do... first just tell her (in person... if not you're showing her you're weak) that you don't have the same feeling as you did when you first started dating, and it's time to end it. If she still follows you or won't leave you alone call the police and turn her in for harrassment. You need to end it, so find the courage and just get it over with.
2006-10-30 06:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by Jackie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell it like it is and tell her the truth! So what if her feeling are hurt, because not only are you being honest and truthful about everthing, but you're being honest to yourself! You're tired of feeling hurt and miserable, so let her go! If her "obession" gets out of control, take action by filing a police report against her! You want to move on with your life without her and be yourself again! Besides, you deserve better than that!
2006-10-30 06:00:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight up and soon. The longer you wait, the more unhappy you will become and the more hurt she will be in the end. Unfortunately there is no remedy for not hurting her feelings BUT you must realize what will make you most happy (not being with her) and you owe it to yourself to be relieved of this relationship. :) Good luck.
2006-10-30 05:57:54 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her gently that you don't feel that any good has come from your relationship and you think it would be better for you to move on. If she's as obsessive as she sounds, be ready to help her find some professional help.
2006-10-30 06:00:36 · answer #8 · answered by Noelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a way to break up with someone and not hurt them!!! But it would be better because your happiness is what counts
2006-10-30 05:57:53 · answer #9 · answered by PiNk-PrInCeSs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BE HONEST! I know that it''s a delicate situation, but it will pay off to be honest with her. She will have her fits and probably trip out (expect that) but there is no need for you to make yourself unhappy just to keep her happy. Take a deep breath and just do it.
2006-10-30 06:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by Tee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋