My 17 year old daughter moved out under horrible circumstances. We were so close and now her room is bare, and I feel like I have lost my best friend. I AM a good mom, even though she called me a f***** c***, but I just feel so sad and lost. Any ideas on how to feel better?
2006-10-30 05:51:18 · 13 answers · asked by kmoc123 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The empty nest is bad enough, but to have your daughter to leave under such circumstance probably seems like the hardest thing you've ever done. Let me tell you from experience, they do reconcile. Life does get better. Get yourself a hobby. Go to a movie with a friend during the afternoon matinee. Go shopping with a friend, if only to browse. Don't stay home and pine away
whatever you do. For me it was easier to close my son's bedroom door and leave it until I felt like doing some decorating with it. THere are support groups in most communities. Call your community action center or chamber of commerce and ck out the support system in your area. See if you can volunteer some time to help those in need. Do you have a clergyman you can speak with face to face? That is a tremendous help.
In the meantime, sit down when you are not emotional, write your daughter a long letter. Write from the heart. Fold it and put it away. If in a few days you still feel you need to, then mail it to her. Sometimes just writing it down helps. She knows you love her. Sometimes anger is a front for fear. She will be fine and you will be fine. This sort of thing happens more than you know. Give it time to heal. While the healing is taking place, give each other some space. Best wishes dear.
2006-10-30 06:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by Catie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to reconcile the situation with your daughter, even if she is angry at you now try to leave the lines of communication open so that she knows she can come back.
If you have time and space have you thought about fostering? There are a lot of other children out there that are in need of a good parent and you might be the ideal person for one of them.
Also think about a group like a gym or a WI group or something to get out the house and meet other people.
2006-10-30 05:54:49 · answer #2 · answered by Jez 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start exploring the kinds of things you'll be able to do with your freedom and his adulthood. My son is almost 17 -- in just another year and a half, he'll be off to college and while I'll miss him and be nervous for him, I'll also still be young and free from the worries of "did you do your homework" and "did you clean your room before you started playing that video game" and "no you cannot have the car"... It's not like you'll never see him again -- be happy for him growing as an individual in this universe. He's always been his own person -- now he'll be truly out there doing it on his own. Be happy for him.
2016-05-22 11:55:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
write her a letter telling her how you feel ,let her know you love her and will always be there for her and if she ever wants to she can always come back home.
My daughter moved out when she was 19 and I hated the world and cried for days ,but in the end I see her more now then I did when she lived at home .She knows I am always there for her and I love her very much and if she ever wants to come back home there is a room waiting just for her, now I have to deal with it with my son that just turned 20 it is painful that is for sure but they always come back they know who loves them and where there home and family is . she will come back maybe not to live but still to be your best friend and daughter .
Do not forget what it was like at the age , we even felt we were better then are parents and knew more , have patience and understanding , and be there with open arms and a heart full of love.
2006-10-30 06:02:42 · answer #4 · answered by asnowbird1961 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry too much, moms and daughters have their fights once in a while. You should try to set up a date to go eat lunch together or something like that and just pour your heart out to her. Tell her exactly how you are feeling, and tell her you miss her and love her no matter what happens. Tell her she could always count on you, well if that's how you feel. Well, i hope everything turns out fine between both of you guys.
2006-10-30 05:57:46 · answer #5 · answered by lady butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you've told us, part of the problem is your daughter wants to be her own self. Give her the time she needs. Sometimes, we mothers can be "Smother Mothers". You feel sad and lost because you need your own life. Just like your daughter needs her own life. Just because you gave birth to her doesn't mean your own her. That's why she was so rude and in your face. She had no other way to get her point across. In time, you will be friends again. It will be different and it will be better. God bless!
2006-10-30 05:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by RockwallCat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time will heal the wounds, you and your daughter must work on establishing your adult relationship, as many mentioned invite her out to dinner to talk but not to soon. Give her some space and time to work things out. My own daughter struck out on her own at 17 and she calls me more than ever with a crisis or for advice I sort of became her primary advisor after all those years she acted like I did not know anything, funny how things work out.
2006-10-30 06:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wash your hair, change your clothes, and get a new attitude! Just start living for yourself. Go to school and take up some classes, go shopping and buy yourself a new wardrobe. Get out and start doing things. Start enjoying yourself!
Love and Pray for your daughter! Let God bring her back! God will make things right ! I know...Bless Ya!
2006-10-30 07:14:16 · answer #8 · answered by Child of God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are feeling bad about what happened with your daughter. Try e-mailing her or writing her a letter. I bet she feels bad about it too. Don't try to explain right away. Just get together and hug and make up. Have lunch or something. Good luck!
2006-10-30 05:58:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jabberwock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, just tell yourself that you did the best you could, she is in God's hands now.
what i do not get though is why did she leave that way, what happened to you two since you say you were like best friends? That is really sad, i hope things work out for you two.
2006-10-30 05:54:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋