wel , am not talking about all the boys or male friends for sure , this is what i wonder when am with my boy friend or lover. he proves to me he loves me ( in his own way ofc) and says it but , i just cant believe it,i want to but i cant , and even if i believe it i find it hard to control my negative emotions , wanna know how people think about this n can i be right ?
2006-10-30 05:44:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I to feel the same way. I have been hurt many times ... cheated on, used, left. I find it extremely hard to trust ANY male even just as a friend.
First you need to search inside and find out WHY you feel you can't trust him or believe him. Ask yourself WHAT about him makes you uneasy. Is it HIM or is it someone ELSE from the past?
If you can't come up with anything, then your fear is probably unfounded and with time, slowly allow yourself to open up to him, bear your heart.
If you do find something, ask yourself if letting this one thing hold you back is worth risking something that has the potential to be a wonderful, lasting relationship in which you have someone who loves you, that you love in return.
Trust takes time, and I'm sure that if you just slowly allow yourself to let your guard down, you will find that believing him isn't quite as hard as you thought.
And remember, actions speak louder than words. If he constantly SHOWS you ... he means it more than if he only SAID it.
Fear only holds us back and you certainly don't want to be alone forever! And also keep in mind, there are men who have the same fear as you because there are some vicious and conniving females out there too!
2006-10-30 05:52:05 · answer #1 · answered by Daynuhlicious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way about my man...like a gut feeling. I don't know if this is right or not but I couldn't ignore it so I did a little nosing around and after a while found out that he was hiding a drug addiction from me. I've been burned in the past before so of course my guard is up - follow your own intuition and maybe you'll come to realize that you're worrying for nothing. I know you can't just ignore the feeling though...
2006-10-30 13:52:49 · answer #2 · answered by Cari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust him as far as you can throw him.
Nah, seriously, you need to have some trust in the guy. Be vigilant for a while, and if his behavior matches his words, engage the trust gear, and move on.
If you spend all of your energy being suspicious, you will waste your time together wondering if what he says is true, who he's thinking about, where he was, who he saw, etc, etc, etc.
If you want to spend all of your time worrying, go buy some antacids, and brace yourself for an ulcer.
2006-10-30 13:50:01 · answer #3 · answered by George Curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can already tell that someone before has broken your trust level, I've been there and I am going though the same thing. I guess all we both have to do is try and believe and let fate guide us. Follow your heart.
2006-10-30 13:48:32 · answer #4 · answered by goddessheartbreaker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like someone in the past has hurt you and now your afraid of being hurt again! Not all guys are the same! There are some pretty nasty guys out there but you can't hold a grudge on all of them b/c only one of them hurt you!
2006-10-30 13:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by --Br0oklYn-- 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you have trust issues...if you have always had trouble trusting your guy then it is probably you, although, guys are tough to trust. sorry guys, buy you just are. they tend to give it all up to get in someones pants and tend to like variety, and cheat a whole lot...so why would you just automatically trust him...trust is earned, when he has earned it you will know because these negative thoughts will end. good luck.
2006-10-30 13:49:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we have a hard time trusting others, if we cant trust ourselves. If he gives you no reason NOT to trust him, then you have the issues and should find out why you have a hard time trusting others. Soul searching time for you.
2006-10-30 13:48:29 · answer #7 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys can never be trusted. It is just the way guys are wired. Get used to it. It is simply the way life works.
Hope this helps.
2006-10-30 13:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by An Unhappy Yahoo User 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just get a hold of your own insecurities.
Nothing can change you if you can't imagine it yourself.
Start with admitting the possiblity that it's real. That's the first step in making it real.
2006-10-30 13:48:15 · answer #9 · answered by MisterO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To trust someone else you must trust yourself.
2006-10-30 14:16:32 · answer #10 · answered by Axeman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋