my MIL feels as if she does't have control then everything is just wrong she has always tried to control everything me and my hubby do with or kids my prob is my daughter had a b-day months ago and my MIL acted as if it never happened (daughter is from a previous relationship) and now my MIL wants my middle child come spend the weekend with her i told her no way because the she has treated my oldest her response is it is all my head i am crazy and my hubby needs to take of it or she will my question is has anyone gone through? this i also found out my MIL doesn't like me for what ever reason i always thought we got along even though she put me down every chance had i had a miscarriage a year ago and she was glad i almost bled to death but she was glad that just makes no sence to me most people would be upset about it she just don't care that she lost a grandchild and we lost our baby this bothers me so much everyone says don't worry about it can anybody give me advise please help
2006-10-30 05:42:13 · 7 answers · asked by daysfan207 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I was in the same situation. It is much better to talk to your husband and explain to him that her behavior and actions hurt you and that is not acceptable to you. Then, you just tell your MIL that you are not going to tolerate her behavior. It is not ok with you that she behave that way, and you are not going to accept her into your life until she changes her ways. And then, stick to your guns. This may cause a little turbulance with your husband until everyone adjusts to your new sense of empowerment. But, it's worth it. Eventually you will be treated the way you deserve to be, or she will not address you at all.
2006-10-30 05:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know kind of what you are going through, my MIL sounds just like yours. I have been married to her son for 7 years and we have been together for over 11 and she still treats me like an outsider. My MIL is the type that it's "my way or the highway."A couple of months ago my dad was in the hospital in a coma and she wanted to know when I would be back because I was being irresponsible and should be home with my children, I have 2. Since that time I wrote her a letter telling her all the things that have bothered me and that if she didn't treat my children the same as her other grandchildren then she wouldn't see them any more. I told her that until things change she was not a part of our lives. I made sure my husband knew what I was doing, and told his mother that he had nothing to do with it it was how i felt and not to take it out on him. It has now been three weeks and I haven't heard from her, she called my husband today at work and wants to take the kids to the pumpkin patch, but she went around me and until she talks to me the situation is not resolved. Stick to your guns and don't let her run your life, you did fine before you met her you can do just fine without her. Let your husband know that you don't like her behavior and you will not put up with it. Maybe you MIL will take you seriously if you send her a letter explaining everything and why you feel the way you do. It could help but then again even if it doesn't you know that she knows how you feel and you won't have to see her anymore. Good Luck, hope things work out in your favor...
2006-10-30 06:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by mom-of-2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, your mother in law can only be in charge if you let her. In a firm, calm manner, you can let her know you are in charge. Don't be in a rage or overly emotional when you speak with her. Speak firmly and matter of factly. She may or may not see you as the woman of your house, a woman with feelings and concerns, a woman who has vowed to devote her love and time to her son. If she never accepts that, if she never accepts you or her step-grandchild, that's okay too. Because who you are doesn't depend on who she thinks you are. Do you understand? You are important, you are a mother yourself and capable of making sound decisions. She feels threatened by you. Try to think of why she would be. Was she close to her son? Try to think of her in your mind as a sad person who can't understand what it is to be a fair and loving mother. For if she truly loves her son and her own grandchild then she will love and respect who he has chosen as his partner for life. The short comings aren't with you dear. Try not to judge yourself through her eyes. Otherwise you might always fall short for some mil never change their attitude. The shortcomings are with her. Try to be loving to your family and you will be seen as the loving, mature person that you are, at least by the ones that matter.
2006-10-30 06:13:26 · answer #3 · answered by Catie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not any such concern written in Indian shape that DIL has to seem after MIL. i think of you need to write a letter on your husband explaining intimately with reference to the matters you're dealing with with your MIL. enable him come to a style your destiny. via the way he's morally accountability sure to maintain you with himself and not depart you with your MIL. you have the perfect to ask your husband. you could seek for help from a kin courtroom. yet pay attention of difficult reaction out of your husband
2016-10-21 00:15:29 · answer #4 · answered by lindgren 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is not in control over your family you are
she has no right to think she can just pick favorites with your children, say that you are crazy and think she can make plans with your children even if you do not agree with it.
put your foot down, tell your husband that his mothers behavior has to stop or your childen will no longer get to see her and that is that.
2006-10-30 05:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because she is your MIL. that doesn't mean you have to like her nor take her abuse. talk to your husband. be firm and tell him everything that bothers you about his mother. and all she had done to you.
2006-10-30 05:58:38 · answer #6 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I did not have problems with my mother in law. I loved her. She passed away 2 months ago.
2006-10-30 05:54:50 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋