I'm seeing this amazing girl who I have been with for over 6 months. We go to college together and she graduates in May, I still have another year after that and then 4 more years of medical school. She lives 500 miles away from me during the summer.
I really love this girl and I can't find a reason to just end it with her except that my grades have been going downhill since I met her and I logically don't see the relationship working after she graduates even though every fiber of my heart wants it to work; it is impractical.
I am very logical-minded and she is the opposite (a flowery arts major). I don't want to crush her but I feel like I should just end it now rather than later so that we can both stop pretending like it will work out down the road when we both know it won't.
Also, we have put this conversation aside many times because I believe subconsciously we both know it is going to have to end even though neither of us want it to.
What should I do, end it? Why?
2006-10-30 05:39:56 · 6 answers · asked by doug h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's possible to make this work. True love overcomes many obstacles. Have you considered marrying your girl? She might be able to find some kind of a job(although probably outside her "flowery arts" field) to help support you during your remaining five years of education. Many doctors and their wives in past decades have entered into such an arrangement. Once you settle into married life, I think you'll find distractions are fewer and your grades will rise again. It will be difficult, and some compromises are necessary, but true love is rare and you may not find someone like her ever again.
My husband and I married in graduate school, and the same month he received a PhD in physics we celebrated the birth of our third child. (Yes, science takes even longer than medicine!)
Speaking to appeal to your "logical mind", I repeat: You may not find another like her. I'd advise, don't let this end. You two can make it work. We did!
2006-10-30 06:14:59 · answer #1 · answered by ragged 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good thing is that you are smart enough to know now that it is not going to work out. An easy way out is to wait until May when she leaves and just end it on the phone using the " long distance relationship" thing just isn't going to work.
It won't anyway but like I said that's an easy way out.
If your grades are suffering right now you can't afford to wait. You need to decide what is most important, your dreams or a girlfriend.
Girls come and go and after you are done with school you won't have any time to date anyway if you are in the medical field at least for the first year.
If you really love her that much, be honest with her. Cut down on seeing her for now so you can catch up with your grades. Tell her you need to do this and that though she is important to you this is your dream (unless it's not) and you can't afford to screw it up.
Tell her you love her and all that stuff. Reassure her and go from there. If she cries and begs don't get too upset, women do that sometimes but it doesn't mean that it will change the facts.
You will fall in love again and so will she. Maybe with each other 5 years from now but you are smart and need to use your head. Don't give up on school for anyone, you will regret it for the rest of your life.
2006-10-30 13:54:30 · answer #2 · answered by Suzanne B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not end it.
it is extremely rare that two people genuinely care for each other.. distance , tastes, education are all matters which dont have to count.
do u realise we all talk about moving on because we want something perfect.. u believe u will find someone as good, if not better subconsciously, which is why u r considering letting her go..
if u both dont want it to end..
fight for it man.. logically or whatever..
2006-10-30 13:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by anamika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have sex and have fun and have the intelligent, responsible conversation you know you're supposed to have. you have more school, let me tell you right now she still has to go through her "older man" stage which happens with all girls after college....believe me, i know. End it. Focusing on something as important as your future with becoming a doctor is much much more important than a girl....when you get older you'll dig what im saying. Besides, once you become a DR chicks will be coming out of your ears......they're a dime a dozen, don't EVER forget that. be well.
2006-10-30 13:44:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just end it and get it over with. You will thank yourself in the long run.
2006-10-30 13:43:27 · answer #5 · answered by johnsonjrod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit putting this conversation aside and have it with her. you can't keep putting it off. and always follow your heart, because that's where your happiness is...good luck
2006-10-30 13:43:57 · answer #6 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋