this past saturday was my birthday. I told my boyfriend not to worry about getting me a gift because he's been laid off from work, but instead that we should just go do something fun.
Saturday I had to work some OT and afterwards i went to his place, he didnt tell me that he was planning on taking me out to dinner so i ate before i went and accidentally spoiled that. We were going to go to a haunted house with 2 friends but they showed very late and we ended up just watching movies. I was dissappointed with the day.
That sunday, he said he would make it up to me. We ended up going to do an errand he needed to do and then one that i needed to do. When it came time to eat he said he didnt want to go out because he wanted to save money and we went to my place and watched more movies.
i was curious as to how he would have taken me out sat but not sun.
Am I being selfish to feel like he didn't do anything for my birthday?
Should I say something to him?
2006-10-30 05:33:59 · 15 answers · asked by attila 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im not upset because i didnt get a gift.. i didnt want a gift, i told him that.
so i dont understand why people are saying that i told him not to so why am i upset..
I told him i wanted to DO something instead of a gift.
2006-10-30 06:41:09 · update #1
Saturday your b/d you worked over time.you ate without him . that spoiled his plans of taking you out to eat.. friends were late so you watched movies , sun. you both had errands to do do that messed up the plans, all through this it was not his fault..... He tried.. say nothing to him . it is not his fault. being selfish is not the way.
2006-10-30 05:42:29 · answer #1 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wasn't the dinner he had planned "anything"? But you had already eaten.
Wasn't the haunted house "anything"? But the friends ruined it.
Didn't you both choose to run errands on Sunday?
Didn't you both watch movies together?
Didn't you tell him not to bother with a gift?
It's possible he was hurt that his birthday dinner was ruined because you'd eaten, so he decided to cut his loses and save his cash.
I think if I were you, I'd let it go. You both tried to get something going, and things went wrong. Celebrate Halloween or go out when he gets a new job.
2006-10-30 05:41:37 · answer #2 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing and women are awful about his ,never tell a guy not to get you a gift .Guys will take that seriously and get nothing.If you just tell him to do what he can just make it special or something like that you may get pleasantly suprised if not then you can be mad.But to assume guys can see throught to what you really want is a little to much .(Now I can because i know what women really mean) Listen yes he was selfish but you were very vague take as a lesson both will learn from and don't make the mistake again
2006-10-30 06:24:57 · answer #3 · answered by ga44male 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man down on his luck, especially on the money end, acts rather erratically and unpredictably. Maybe he was avoiding it taking you anywhere since saturday and you doing OT was like a big "whew~"
Try not be be hard on him until he gets back on his feet. If you feel liek you still want to do do something, then just tell him, I want to do
Becareful though, and don't bug about it, not being financially secure makes guys angry for no reason. (actually its a big self esteem blow and they are having problems respecting themselves)
2006-10-30 05:40:02 · answer #4 · answered by MisterO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. In a way you werent selfish at all because it was your day. Why shouldnt you have that day. In a way you are because wasnt it nice just to cuddle on the couch and watch movies. He couldve cooked you dinner at his place that wouldve been romantic and as for taking you out sunday if he didnt have money that is beyond me
2006-10-30 05:37:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was willing Saturday because it was your b-day and he figured he should do something nice, but that got ruined for whatever reasons, then he had another day to reconsider. If money is that tight for him, I wouldn't make an issue of it.
I don't think you're selfish for wanting to do something, but if he can't afford it I wouldn't push it. Wait until he's back to work and say hey, remember when you were layed off at my b-day, can we celebrate it now that your working again? Or something to that effect.
2006-10-30 05:40:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you screwed up the birthday and then the next day he was paying you back, by doing what he did. Both of you were wrong, I think people put too much into thinking about each birthday needs to be such a great time,
2006-10-30 05:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you should. Not a knock-down drag out fight but...there are lots of ways to recognize a special occasion that don't cost a cent. A card, some flowers can only cost $4. He could make a book of "coupons" for free.
My husband did that to me one year when we were poor too. We had a nice discussion and he hasn't done it since.
2006-10-30 05:38:49 · answer #8 · answered by Black Parade Billie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, answer two questions. How old are you and how long have you and your boyfriend been together? Its not selfish to want this day to be a special day but if you are a young person, you will have many more disappointing birthdays. You get used to it, not really, but we get over it.
2006-10-30 05:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by dorothysylvester 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you should make up your mind...you did tell the guy not to worry about your birthday....and now you are upset because he listened.....he tried on sat and maybe he was disappointed cause everything he tried to do didn't work...
2006-10-30 05:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by mystic chicklet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋