She started smoking behind my back and stealing cigarettes. her dad and I tell her if shes going to smoke, she has to earn the money to buy her own. We both smoke so its hard to tell her not too because we are setting an example ourselves. but how do i get her to quit even though she knows its bad for her. I have had heart surgery and she knows cigarettes led to that too.
2006-10-30 05:32:14 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
there are a number of ways, but, first remember u are the ADULT, and u have to be in charge and tell her she CAN'T SMOKE.... 1. she's under-age 2. forget that bullshitt about being polite, tell her straight up, NO SMOKING, when she has her own place and paying her own way, THEN she can smoke her brains out, but while she's living under ur roof, it's ur rules...... 3. let her know there are consequences for disobeying u, take away the things she cant do without: cell phone/phone priviledges, cd player, tv, video games, whatever it is........make her accountable for her actions..... i dont buy into ur setting a bad example, ur the adult she is the child, simple as that...... and if that doesnt work, i do like the one that says sit her down and make her smoke a pack of camels or winston, pick the most disgusting ones out there, and make her do it IN FRONT OF YOU if she's got the balls........ lighting one off the other.....
2006-10-30 05:47:29 · answer #1 · answered by costellos_creation 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Quit smoking...
Seriously, as a family for safety and well being of your daughter, you as a family, relying upon each other for support.... quit smoking.
It isn't easy, but your daughter is hooked on one of the most dangerous legal drugs out there, and she isn't going to quit just because she can't steal the cigarettes from you anymore. If you couldn't buy them, what would you resort to??? She has resorted to stealing, what is she going to do next?
You know how dangerous it is right? So show how much you love each other and quit today, there is no better reason in the world to stop smoking then to save your daughters life.
2006-10-30 06:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You've taught your daughter by your own example that it's okay to smoke. For crying out loud, you had heart surgery and you still smoke! Get off her back about smoking. She is ignoring you anyway, and she thinks you're a hypocrite, I'm sure. The only way you can even hope to get her to stop is if you and your husband both stop completely right now. Since you're not going to do that, help her save money for her heart surgery.
2006-10-30 16:39:16 · answer #3 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you can quit, but being a smoker myself I know the difficulty in that one. But by telling her U are adults and it is against the law for your daughter to smoke.
Then my suggestion is keeping the cigarettes locked in the trunk of your car. This will make it more difficult for her to get to them and help you cut down a bit which if I might say will be a great benefit to you as well.
2006-10-30 13:45:28 · answer #4 · answered by Marge Simpson 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I cannot believe I am answering this question....BUT....if you are going to let your 13 year old smoke, then shame on you. Hide yours if she keeps "stealing" them. And you just said it yourself....you and your husband ARE setting an example for her. Quit being stupid and QUIT yourselves....set a GOOD example for her. And if you knowingly let her save her own money and buy them and smoke in front of you, that is awful parenting. It is your fault you had heart complications from smoking, don't be responsible for starting her on those problems too.
2006-10-30 08:05:26 · answer #5 · answered by brandiejs1979 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ummm.....stop smoking. Children do what their parents do. You should not be telling a child that she has to earn money to smoke! You should never condone it. If you are not willing to quit for your daughters future health, then I am not sure what to tell you. I was once a smoker too. But, when I held that baby in my arms, I realized that I was responsible for another human life. I am responsible for how my children turn out. So, I was driving down the road and threw them out the window and have never touched one since. If you wanted to quit, you could.
2006-10-30 05:40:13 · answer #6 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
From a reformed smoker: I'm sure you & your husband know you should quit smoking - so I'm not even going to go there.
You've probably tried quitting before. Talk to her about these things: Does she remember what it was like when you (or maybe someone else) tried to quit? Has she seen the anguish, anxiety, frustration, anger? Has she seen the loss of self esteem when the "quitter" fails, time after time?
Fact is, it's physically and psychologically addictive. Who in their "right mind" would pay the money for cigarettes? Who would voluntarily deal with the inconvenience? Having to go outside in the snow/rain/heat to a designated "corner" somewhere. The comments, the rude looks (You Stink! Can't you do that somewhere else?) Non-smokers will avoid you and your home; if you're single, they won't consider dating you. As for the health aspect, I personally know three people who continued to smoke after being diagnosed with lung disease. Two are dead now. Your family probably knows of a similar story - a relative, neighbor or family friend... Tell her to think about that. Shouldn't that tell her something about how hard it is to quit smoking???
It's so hard for kids to understand sometimes that we as parents aren't trying to make them "uncool" or trying to "ruin their good times." But at 13, your daughter is going to start making some choices that you will have no control over. It's impossible to shield teenagers from "the world." This is the time when they learn how to handle situations on their own and they'll have to accept the consequences of their actions. You have to be the one that is there for them when they make a mistake - not to hurt them but to heal and help them.
Please, tell her that you love her more than anything else in the world and you just don't want anything bad ever to happen to her.
I don't think physical punishment will do any good. It will probably turn her more toward her "friends", who "understand how uncool parents are" and it may encourage more rebellion and acting out... YOU as parents should be the ones she turns to for love and support. But I definitely would suggest you find a way to keep her out of your cigs, and even if she has money to buy her own, she's a minor & it's against the law so don't let her or her friends smoke in the house or in front of you (even if her friend's parents allow their kids to smoke/drink/****/ you name it - I've heard them all before, lol...) Reassure her that everyone (yourself included) makes mistakes and uses bad judgement sometimes. However,some mistakes are harder to undo than others (like smoking - and you are a prime example of how miserable it is!) She has to understand that in the end the choice will be hers, and she will be the one (not you, not her friends, not anyone else) who will have to accept the consequences for her actions.
I wish you luck, from one mom to another... mine is now 23, still finding his way in the world and not always making the best decisions... but he's a happy, responsible, productive member of society, and he's NOT a smoker!!! It can be done.
2006-10-31 06:46:17 · answer #7 · answered by Auntie M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
QUIT SMOKING!
My sister did this to our parents when she was 15. They went to her with all kinds of info on why smoking is bad; she looked them in the eye and said "Then why don't you stop!?"
Chances are, if you tell her smoking is bad but do it yourself, she DOESN'T BELIEVE YOU. Even if you hide your cigarettes better, she will get them somewhere else. You need to stop smoking yourself and get her involved in whatever program you choose along with you. Then she will understand better, and also know that you care about what she does to her body. You have to be the example.
2006-10-30 06:06:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
OMG, Set a good example and quit. She won't have any to steal. Heart problems are hereditary. Unless you want to sit by her bedside when she has her heart surgery, I suggest you all quit. Put the money aside and go on a great family vacation in a year.
2006-10-30 06:25:07 · answer #9 · answered by carmieaa 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
U and ur husband smoke b/c its a habbit for yall and yall r old enough....shes 13 and under age...shes not smoking b/c its a habbit shes doing it to try to look cool...i went through that stage!!
set her down and talk to her theres not much u can do at this time!!
just think got its only cigs...its better than her off haveing sex and getting pregnant and way better than her smoking weed!
its just a phase that shes goin through and eventualy the cigs will become gross to her and she wont even be able to stand the smoke!
good luck on this one!
2006-10-30 09:56:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋