I have 2 boys ages 3 and 5. I have problems with my 5 year old back talking, having an attitude with everyone, and hitting his brother. I have taken things away from him, spanked him, put him in time out, sent him to bed early and it doesn't seem to bother him. he may throw a fit for a few minutes, but thats it. I'm not sure what else to do. any ideas?
2006-10-30 05:29:28 · 10 answers · asked by htlstyone 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I try to spend some one on one time with each of my children. ive been told to get him tested for ADHD, could that be a concern?
2006-10-30 05:45:12 · update #1
I think all kids go through a faze like that I know my 6 year old did and sometimes still does. Just know that you are not alone with this problem, most of the time they grow out of it. I now its hard but sometimes the best thing to do is ignore it, he knows hes going to get attention from it he's going to continue, however if you do nothing and ignore him when hes acting that way chances are he will quit. It may take a while but he eventually stop. Another option is when he begins this behavior tell him that he is interrupting whatever is going on and that if he would like to continue acting that way he may do so but in his room, either he goes or you take him and shut the door and stand at the door for a few minutes to make sure he is not going to come out also be sure to tell him that you were having fun and as soon as he's done with his fit that he may come back out and rejoin you . Make him apologize for what he was doing. And when i say apologize I mean in that apology he needs to state what it is that he is sorry for.
2006-10-31 00:34:34 · answer #1 · answered by tlclovemom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't test him for ADHD.... they'll say he has it. In fact if you get tested you'll find out you do too. In fact if you test your dead great-great-grandmother, you will see that she has it as well.
By the looks of these boards, everyone that owns a computer has a kid with ADHD...
As someone else pointed, consistency is the key word here. If he back talks you, and you are spanking him for that, then spank him every time he does that. If you are sitting him in the corner, then sit him in the corner every time he does that.
One of the first things I would try to figure out is who is he learning this behavior from. It works for them, and so far it has been working for your son. This needs to be isolated, if its a kid from school, or at the park, or down the street, or you, or your husband, you need to find out where your son is learning this behavior and then isolate him from that. If not you oldest will continue on, and your youngest will be picking up on it pretty quick.
I did have a similar situation with my daughter for a short time. I resolved it with a two step program. First I yelled at her for 10 minutes (This worked because I never raise my voice to either of my children unless absolutely necessary, in this case it was probably the first time she had ever been yelled at). What I said was probably more important to you now though; I am the parent you are the child, you will speak to me in a civil tone and with respect because I am the parent and you are the child.
I then let her stop crying for about 10 minutes and then sat down with her again and talking normally discussed why she was behaving this way (I had already isolated the problem to a friend at school.) I explained to her that having a friend that does bad things does not make her friend bad. That being a friend means that you have to do the right things around your friends so that they will learn to do the right things too. I told her that as my daughter, I expected her to set the example (which is something you can use too.... your oldest needs to set the example for your youngest).
The problem friend by the way is a good friend of the family now, and no longer exhibits any of the bad behaviors she used to (she was going through a rough time at home).
2006-10-30 14:44:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your pediatrician first. Then, take your son off of all sugar, all, for a minimum of three weeks. You should see a big change in his behavior. It will not be easy, however. Do no present it as a punishment, but rather as a new healthy eating program. Do not eat sugar in front of him. Set up a rewards chart for good behavior. You can make this type of chart or buy one in an educational store. After so many gold stars, etc., he gets a toy, or some other non-sugar treat. You sound like a very concerned and dedicated mother.
2006-10-30 13:41:46 · answer #3 · answered by Isabella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a typical five year old to me. My daughter is five and she acts this way, although she doesnt have a younger sibling. She has an attitude with me 90% of the time. Some stern talking from me and she usually stops. If she doesn't, she gets sent to her bedroom for five minutes, or loses movie or toy privileges.
2006-10-30 17:04:26 · answer #4 · answered by SassySours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you spend more time with one than the other. You see it has been my personal experience that Moms give more attention to the younger child. They baby them more let um get away with more etc... I am just saying maybe spend a lil one on one time with him it might just be plain old Jealousy and he is lookin for some kind of attention and by being that way he gets it
2006-10-30 13:37:48 · answer #5 · answered by *MiSsInG hIm* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whatever u do, DON'T MEDICATE him, he's only 5, he's pushing the boundaries that he wants and needs u to give him....... i agree with taking him off the sugar and the fast foods (if u eat them) and refrain from tv and videos.....most kids just want interaction, HUMAN interaction.... maybe u can spend time as a family playing a game or bowling or something to stimulate him in a positive way.....spanking and screaming do nothing but wear u out.... try positive reinforcement
2006-10-30 13:51:28 · answer #6 · answered by costellos_creation 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...I suggest that you try to find out if someone else is doing the same to him. Maybe make a few rewards if he behaves...like if he behaves the whole week...offer to take him to somewhere he likes (but not amusement parks, more like restraunts). If that doesn't help, then maybe you might need a nanny?
2006-10-30 13:59:29 · answer #7 · answered by huffypuffle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him and tell him what hes doing wrong..talk to you dr and ask his advice..my 5 yr old needed medicine and that helped him alot..good luck
2006-10-30 13:33:21 · answer #8 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you had him tested for any underlaying problems, that could be causing this?it might be a good idea.
2006-10-30 13:40:06 · answer #9 · answered by wisdom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a good idea if he cant sit still or concentrate on things
2006-10-30 14:42:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋