how can i get over my ex boyfriend?

Question

we broke up over a year ago and ive dated since and so has he and yet i still miss him and cant get him out of my head.. is there something wrong with me? im the one who broke up with him because he wouldnt commit and ive been happier since i broke it off but i still miss him A LOT

Answer 1

Realize what happened and why. You have to make it clear to yourself that this is not all your fault. It takes two people to make a relationship start, and two people to have lead it to the break up.
Accept your pain. Have your good long cries if you feel like it. It's okay to be hurt and feel alone and feel like you have messed up. But you have to know that you are a good person and this is not all one-sided.
Keep your distance. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, take a complete break from each other immediately after the breakup. That means no seeing each other, no phone calls, no e-mails, no IMing, and most importantly, no sex- not necessarily as a permanent measure (except where sex is concerned), but until you feel that you can converse with him/her like a normal person, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive).
Think through everything in your head. Maybe even try to ask yourself what went wrong. But you also have to think of why you two broke up. There had to have been a reason for it all to end, right? If there was a reason but it wasn't a good one, then this person isn't worth your time.
Deal with the hate phase. This is where you want to just scream because you are so angry, even furious. The amount of anger you feel all depends on how bad the "split" was. You may even feel like you hate yourself, but get out of that feeling fast! It's a waste of time to be hating and ripping yourself apart for no reason.
Talk to your friends. They are always a source of advice and help. If you are close with any family members, they may be a good source of advice/guidance. You want people around you that love you and who will help you see that you should love yourself too and that you don't need this sort of pain.
Write all your feelings down. Write in a journal or write poems. Most of all, be absolutely honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring out your thoughts onto paper. Patterns may become clearer and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to "get" what you're supposed to be learning from the whole experience if you've been writing your way through it. No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of your journey to becoming who you're meant to be.
Keep fond memories. Sometimes there are things that remind us of another person. Say, you hear a song or see a picture that reminds you of your ex, you probably get all sad and worked up. Well, instead of feeling that way, try to think of how happy that memory used to make you, and leave it at that.
Don't overreact. You may be feeling lonely, and want to be with someone, but don't go back to your ex unless you really believe you should be together. Likewise, don't jump into another relationship as a rebound, just to make yourself feel better. It's not fair to the other person, and will eventually lead to another breakup.
Find happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family, taking up that class you've always wanted to take, or reading every book on the New York Times bestseller list, remind yourself that there's more to life than being in a relationship. Indulge in those things. As they say, the best revenge is living well.
Let go. See that there is no sense in still being heartbroken, regretful, and having hatred toward that person. Realize that although your relationship with that person was very unique and special in a lot of ways, all good things must come to an end. And when they do, that's when you see all the flaws in your relationship and that it's best that you aren't together.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

just keep busy. the more energy you put into your work or school stuff, the less time you have to think about him. If you do go out on a date don't think about or ever compare the ex to the new guy. Just take it as a friendly outing and if something more comes out of it then so be it. In the mean time think of all the good reasons you have that he is out of your life.

If all else fails remind yourself that if since he wouldn't commit you wouldn't have been happy anyway. that fact is the truth and he hasn't changed so why should you. be happy you got outta there before things got way worse. NOTHING WORSE THEN GIVING SOMEONE YOUR ALL AND GETTING POOPED ON IN RETURN!

good luck!

Answer 4

It takes about 1/2 the time you were with someone to get over them. It's still a loss for you regardless of whether or not the relationship was good or bad. Are you ready to meet someone else? Perhaps you haven't met anyone who is interesting to you as yet. I had a 5 year relationship (& engagement) with my ex. It took 1 1/2 years of being alone before I met someone who literally swept me off my feet! I am now engaged and so happy not only with him, but with the fact I never got back with my ex. Try not to dwell on him and take your alone time as the chance to figure out what you want, who you are and what you need in a partner. You WILL meet someone wonderful.......I did.

Answer 5

You broke up with him for a reason. It's over. Just deal with it and move on. Stop dwelling on the past. You said so yourself; you've been happier since you broke it off. You don't miss him, you were just used to having him around because he was familiar. If you wan't to get him out of your head, then stop thinking about him.

Answer 6

You are doing the right thing. In your mind you have decided to move on. That's good. What you need to do now is accept that everyone is different. Try not to compare your ex with your current/future b/f's not only is it unfair but you will never move on with your life. Accept your b/f or any future b/f's for what they are. Maybe your b/f's werenot a good match for you? Maybe that is why you keep thinking about your ex? I think that when you do finally meet someone you think is "the man" you'll forget about all your ex b/f's in no time

Answer 7

That means you really liked him possibly in love but he was not giving you what you wanted and maybe sometimes what you want you have to wait for meaning the longer you wait the more it will be when you get it. it is always worth the wait. Did you give him the chance to explain to you why he didn't want to. If you still talk to him and want to try it again just ask him if he wants to hang out sometime, after a couple of months go by hanging out see how it is and don't push things. good luck=}

Answer 8

Mex-fiance is the same way.. she's told me time and time again that she will never get over me. Its been almost 3 years since we broke up. I have since relocated almost 600 miles away, but we still talk on the phone a few times a week and anytime I go back home we hook up. I am certainly over her, however, I know if I said lets get back together, she would drop everything in her life to get back with me...

Do i think something is wrong with you?? No. It is difficult to get over someone you care about. But it is not healthy to be like my ex. You need to make a move... either get back together with him, or get over him.

Answer 9

it takes time TRUST ME...You have to just try to convince yourself you made the right choice. Evidently you did. He did not want to commit and thats not fare to you. You'll be okay hun. You'll find a real man whos not afraid of commitment

Answer 10

Give it another year - you're about half-way there. It's hard; keep busy, be brave. There's nothing wrong with you - sounds like you made a good decision if he didn't want to commit.