How to help a friend with Flashbacks?

Question

How do you help a Friend with Flashbacks ?
How do you help someone with FlashBacks?
I have afriend who cannot stop talking about her tragic childhood.
She has a great business, and has done some amazing things for herself and as a young person in business ( shes only 27!),

but everytime she slows down, its like, boom, she goes into this "my parents left me, I can't trust anybody, Why did it happen, why do these things happen" kinda deal.

It doesn't help matters that she also recently went through some really tough things with an unfaithful husband.

Shes a cool person otherwise, really devoted to her Faith, and like I said, when it comes to her business, shes on Fire.

But behind closed doors, she can be a wreck.

How can I help her?

( i originally asked this is in Family & religion, but this may be the best spot.)

Answer 1

What your friend is doing is deflecting her thoughts into activity, which is one of the most successful ways we as people deal with trauma of any kind. What she needs to do is to learn how to relax and clear her mind, rather than be swamped by everything all at once. Two stages to this, first be with her and get her to sit or lie down in a comfortable position and just let her talk until she runs out of steam, she has a lot to download. Make sure you also have someone to talk to and try not to absorb too much of her negative energy. second, get her some relaxation tapes/cd's and persuade her to try whichever one suits her personally. No matter how strong we are we need to let things go periodically or we build up a mental toxicity that is not an illness but often a result of our need to stay in control. In your friends case she will need you as she will not be able to do this unless she feels really safe and she does need to do it. Good Luck to you both.

Answer 2

The best thing you can do to help her is support her through listening.

You don't have to say anything- you don't have to understand... just be an ear. If she is having a flashback with you there, just make her comfortable as possible, remove anything that could mae the situation worse... and just be.

Also you can ask her how to help her. She might have something to say about how you an help her too. Of course don't ask her in the middle of a flashback, but ask her when you're just talking and when she is not upset and is present in mind and body.

You can advise her to seek treatment from a specialist, but you can't force her. But also, be sure to set some boundaries yourself- it can be exhausting on both sides dealing with things like this. So you have to take care of yourself first.

But just by asking here and elsewhere shows that you are probably a very good friend and I'm sure she appreciates it.

Answer 3

First of all understand that you can't help someone who does not want to help themselves. Some prefer to relive the past over and over rather than move on. When SHE gets sick and tired of it, SHE will make a change. Its as simple as not thinking about it. Learning to forgive and moving on. You might remind her that in all her past scenarios there was some good and it helps to remember those things instead of the negative.

Answer 4

She needs a professional. From my experience, if you try to be the "professional", you will burn out. Your friendship should be about love, fun, and caring. So, point her in the right direction. Ask her to seek help. If she cares about you and herself, she will follow suit.

Answer 5

Maybe you should review what the term "devoted to her Faith" means. From what you've written here, it doesn't sound to me like she is trusting in the spiritual 100%.
She just seems like a typical american female to me.

Answer 6

I have to agree with star, if her faith is truly strong, i would think her pastor or preacher would be one of her best options.

Answer 7

SHE really dose need counseling.MAYBE she may be able to trust a pastor.OR a counselor.