We've been together for almost 5 years. We count on each other for everything. and we both have future plans, academic and professional. but we need to separate (move to different countries) for a while. Still, its in my plans to marry him and have kids, etc... We broke up 7 months ago, but still go out, kiss, sleep together, and everyhting. He isnt seeing anyone else. Nor am I. Were still a couple, but without the pressure and formality. I feel he Genuinely Loves me, but is afraid to admit and accept it. But some friends say its only for the sex. What do you think. Is it solely sex, or does he love me but is afraid to accept it. He's 25 and I'm 23.
2006-10-30 04:55:49 · 35 answers · asked by ssota 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Men can be crazy and hard to understand, from what you say its not just sex; he wants to be with you just as bad as you want to be with him. In my crazed opinion I think he loves you for who you are.
wit luv, Nik
2006-10-30 05:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by nik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This relationship doesn't sound very healthy at all...if you are both exclusively seeing each other, then you are a couple. If you broke up, then it was for a reason and you shouldn't be sleeping with each other anymore. You can't be a couple if you are broken up...one is the opposite of the other. You should really take some time to evaluate what you want/need from the relationship and bring those ideas to him. If he doesn't want to talk about it, then it is probably time to move on. If you both want to work on things, then I would suggest a couselor because a 5 year relationship isn't just something you throw away.
2006-10-30 05:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are forming a romantic relationship in your mind when the reality of the relationship is not so lovely. You shouldn't set your heart on a guy that you cannot stand to live with. There are many other men that you should be dating before committing to this guy.
Basically, you get what you ask for in a relationship. You don't demand a serious relationship or commitment from him before having sex so that is what you get, a sexual relationship. He doesn't plan to change. That is, he doesn't plan to change for you.
Clearly you are both still immature. He doesn't want to grow up and have a serious relationship. Out of curiosity, what does he do with all of the time he isn't with you? That is probably where his true heart is.
2006-10-30 04:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why worry about it?! Your both fine with the fact your going to be apart. And what's wrong with gettin laid, everyone needs to, so why not do it with someone your into. Tell your friends to try it sometime, they might like it!! If your love is real then it will be there no matter the distance nor the people that come in between. Serendipity is what they call it I think. Do what you have to stay happy, sounds like he's going to be right there, just like you are. Good luck!
2006-10-30 05:34:47 · answer #4 · answered by Hot one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't make alot of sense to me that you are broken up but still a couple??? Doesn't that kind of seem strange to you. He gets all the benefits without any commitment...what about you and your feelings? I don't think it sounds like there is any commitment there on either part really. I guess if you're happy with it like it is it's ok, but I think it has more to do with the sex than a relationship.
2006-10-30 05:01:44 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a little bit of both. Guys are practical....he knows you two need to split up for a bit due to cirrcumstances in both of your lives but at the same time he misses you so he feels that the only way for you two to spend time together without it making like he wants to get back together is just do the sex thing for a bit. Understand?!
If you really want to find out for sure....agree to hang out with him, but when it comes time for sex....don't give it up to him. Just tell him you want to cuddle or something like that and see what his reaction is.
2006-10-30 05:01:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, in other words, he's getting all the perks of a girlfriend, without any of the commitment.
After five years, it's time for him to "piss or get off the pot." He should at least be able to commit to being your boyfriend, in name as well as in fact. He doesn't need to commit to matrimony yet (and you should not expect him to), but he should be able to tell you if it is a *consideration* or not.
If he can't even say that "yes, I *may* want to get married someday, and yes, possibly to you," then you should break it off completely now and move on. If he IS willing to consider it but wants to put the decision off until the future, then it is up to you to wait it out.
But if he can't even cope with the idea of "boyfriend" at this point, break it off. Don't let him have his cake and eat it, too.
2006-10-30 05:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you broke up, then you're broke up. It seems obvious to me that he is not interested in any sort of commitment, at least at this time. If you are planning a future with him, you need to find out directly from him if that is his plan too, otherwise you are wasting your time and being used for all the benefits of commitment with out real commitment. I know that may be hard to face, but you need to be brave and own up to the realities of the situation. You are cheating yourself if you continue to let him cheat you of the real love and commitment you desire. Good luck!
2006-10-30 05:01:35 · answer #8 · answered by kittykatty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm that's a tough one. Honestly I think its just for sex. Here's what you do to see if it is just sex or not. Stop having sex for a while (say a week or so) and see how he acts around you. If he acts differently like he's distant, then it is for sex only, if he's still the same, then its not just for sex. Try it! Its fool proof!
2006-10-30 04:58:37 · answer #9 · answered by dancer1883 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be either one, but if you continue to sleep with him and do not require a commitment of any kind, you are BEGGING for trouble. YOu must establish some basis and understanding about your feelings for each other, or you could end up hurt very badly.
2006-10-30 05:00:27 · answer #10 · answered by Ricardo Montalban 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋