My son is three and I share custody of my son with his father. He has him two days a week. When he comes back from his dads he whines about everything. Also my daycare lady says he is the best child there. He never whines, cries and listenes to everything she says. My son even tells me he acts so much better at daycare. I've tried everything. Please give me some suggestions.
2006-10-30 04:39:40 · 12 answers · asked by Teri M 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Transitioning from one parent's home to another is always tough. Is he worst the first few days and then chills out until he goes back to dad's? If so, then a little coparenting might be in order to help smooth the transition. Think about it, when he goes to dad's house there are rules in place that are different from the rules in daycare and the rules at your house. Working with dad to keep the routine as close to one another in both homes would help.
If that's NOT the case then I'd say you might consider that there is not as much structure in your home as there is at daycare and dad's. Obviously it's a given that daycare is very structured and it's an assumption that there must be a good, structured routine at dad's house too. Many times acting out and whining comes from lack of structure. Even though they may protest it, kids actually prefer structure and routine. It makes them feel safe and keeps life predictable for them. I say all this without judgement. I'm sure you're a fantastic mom, just posting here on Yahoo to get suggestions is a strong indication, but without more detail I can only assume.
2006-10-30 04:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll give you an observation from my son and his father. My husband lives with us but I can tell you if he is supposed to be "watching" our two year old he always gets whiny because dad never peels his eyes of the tv until our son gets to whine mode. They tell you to respond before the child gets to whine mode or else they will beleive that the only way to get what they want is to whine. I suspect that his father is like most men and incapable of paying the kind of attention to a child that a woman just does naturally. Try telling your ex that your son is grounded from tv and that you would appreciate his help in enforcing the grounding. If he complies then he won't be able to watch tv when the child is around and willl be forced to focus attention on your son. Also you probably provide him with a structure and the daycare probably even more so he knows what to expect and has his needs met while with his dad he's probably reduced to whining just to get the meals and naps that just come naturally in his other world. Try to get your ex to abide by your schedule- and if you get him to do it tell me how!
2006-10-30 12:56:16 · answer #2 · answered by leavemealone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whining is a result of poor communication skills. With his dad, it could be that he does not feel as understood so he resorts in his childish thinking to whining. When he whines, say, "I can't understand whining. I just don't seem to be able to tell what you're saying." Then let him try again. Patiently do this every time he whines. If he is really having difficulty, help him by giving him words to use that facilitate his speech skills.
2006-10-30 12:44:44 · answer #3 · answered by meoorr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor kid's parents split up and shuffle him back and forth, and put him in day care to boot. He doesn't whine around the daycare lady because he's afraid.
If he had a stable and consistent and secure environment, he wouldn't be as whiny. He will adapt and grow out of it in time.
2006-10-30 12:48:54 · answer #4 · answered by loon_mallet_wielder 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is probably stressful to your son to go back and forth, and the whining is his way of coping. He's probably been on his "best behavior" while away and now he can relax and be himself. He knows that you love him even if he is whiny. Kids are often better at day care than they are at home. They know that mom loves them and they are comfortable enough not to have to be on their best behavior all the time for you.
2006-10-30 12:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when he whines, ignore him, let him know that he can talk to you in a normal voice, if is happening only after being at dads, then maybe he is trying to get your attention. my son never got anything he asked for in a whine. it helped alot. when he does it, just mention that he is whining and when he can use his normal voice you will listen.
2006-10-30 12:46:57 · answer #6 · answered by iMaTwin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason for that is because he does it with dad and he falls for it and gives in to his demands So he will come home and do it with you and think he will get the same response. So you need to stop spoiling him before it gets out of control!!!
2006-10-30 12:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by keishahayes2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either the dad spoils him or you give him everything he wants. you have to tell him to quit and put him in the corner when he wont quit
2006-10-30 12:41:56 · answer #8 · answered by jon-o-than 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is YOU I think it is probably because of the different environment at his dad's house and he is confused.
2006-10-30 12:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by rosie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you mite want to try time out or a small tap on the but will help
2006-10-30 12:48:37 · answer #10 · answered by mary anna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋