How do you know when something is just not meant to be?

Question

We have all heard the phrase, Don't give up, keep trying etc. So how do you determine when it just isn't meant to be?

Answer 1

This is a hard question to answer, since it's most times a case-by-case basis. Because the fact is that some things are "meant to be" and require patience, perseverance, and tenacity. Some things aren't meant to be, and no amount of patience, perseverance, and tenacity will make them happen. So...how to tell the difference?

First, I'm assuming by "not meant to be" you mean "isn't God's will." There are things to look at when trying to determine whether something is God's will or not. And it isn't always easy to conclude, since God's will, while sometimes simple and effortless to bring about in your life, sometimes requires dedication and hard work.

One way is to look at what is being asked of you and to determine whether the source of it is good or bad. For instance, if you find yourself starting to consider--or having already considered--doing bad, immoral, and/or unjust things in order to force something into happening, it's not meant to be. If you find yourself pursuing this one thing to the exclusion of most or all else that is worthwhile and beneficial to your life and others' lives, then it is probably not meant to be. I.e., if you become obsessed, or unbearable to be around because all you talk and think about is this one situation. Another way to tell is if you find yourself attempting to force others to do something that they have already said "no" to and have solid, good reasons for saying no.

To determine if it is meant to be, ask yourself some questions. Such as, "Am I developing qualities that are good and from God in the pursuit of this thing?" In other words, are you growing in courage, patience, and longsuffering? Is the "fire" you're walking through tempering your spirit and bringing you great insight? Are you seeking God's will for your life independent of this one thing you are hoping will happen? Are you looking forward to each day with hope--not delusion? Are you becoming more whole?

When we try to force our own will on a situation--as opposed to following God's will--opposite things than the above paragraph tend to occur. We begin to feel hopeless, demoralized, "crushed." We begin to get spiritually sick, in other words. Instead of looking forward to each day with the hope of what God brings, we look at it as just another day to try and force our way in certain situations.

There is so much I could say about this topic, and nothing I have said here is an acid test. I would encourage you to speak with others who are solid and true in their walk with God, so that they can lend you insight into your particular situation. And, again, perhaps if I knew the situation, I could be of greater use in my answer. Right now, speaking in generalities, it is really too large to tackle in full.

Best to you.

Answer 2

I think it is when all your trying just isn't getting you anywhere or not getting you to a better place where you know you want to be. You must remember though that sometimes we need the patience because sometimes things take longer than we want. In some cases, being a tortoise instead of the hare wins the race. Some of it you must decipher in your own soul (perhaps in consultation with a higher power), what is meant to be or not. Sometimes things aren't meant to be until a later time, not when you would have wanted it yourself but in the timing of when it is supposed to happen.

Answer 3

When the grieve that you get from trying to achieve your goal is bigger than the pleasure you will receive when you've finally reached your goal. If you're trying to get a girl but in the process you'll loose all your friends, your health and your job because you're only focussing on this girl, then your loss is bigger than your gain will ever be. Same goes for just about anything you try to achieve. Maybe it's a good thing to wonder why this specific goal you are trying to reach is so important to you. Maybe it's time to see if there are different ways to reach a similar goal without all the troubles you're experiencing trying to reach your present goal.

Answer 4

When something is meant to be, you will feel it in your soul. You will know if it is. If you don't feel it, than it's not. Keep searching for what touches your soul. That's what you need to not give up on.

Answer 5

I know that something is not meant to be when I give my heart to a man and he throws it away.

Answer 6

some times i ask myself the same question! but i keep on trying anyway.

Answer 7

Your heart & your gut is a great instinct. They have your best interest in mind.

Answer 8

By answers to prayer.

No, that's not a canned response. It's my answer to your question.

Answer 9

You feel it. I get it if you don't though.